Mulling Over My Thoughts

2011-12-29T00:04:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, when you've been breathless for far too long
And the shackles break away momentarily
You end up holding your breath and before you know it, the moments already gone
And you realise, that somewhere along the way, you've forgotten what its like to breathe!

Bikram Wisodm

2011-11-24T22:51:00.000+05:30

Why do they say today won't come back? It'll still be here tomorrow!

Kuch beeta hua...

2011-11-06T15:56:00.000+05:30

Peeche khada ek kal

Tang karta hai pal pal,

Par chand yaadein aur chand pal

Na cheen payenge mera aane wala kal...

There comes a time...

2011-10-22T01:03:00.001+05:30

There comes a time when life doesn't flow
And seems to have slowed down to a trickle
When your days pass by without a memorable moment
And you can but reminisce the days when you were fickle

There comes a time when life has no answers
And questions don't cross your mind anymore
When your thoughts pass by without any significance
And you give up to relishing in memories of the days of yore

There comes a time when life holds no surprises
And realisation dawns on what already has been
When your wants peter down to what you can have
And your reality is more important than your dreams

And your past weighs down what should've been your present
When you're too bogged down by all your strife
And you don't even want to fight to have it all back
There comes a time when life stops being life...

If you love your job...

2011-10-20T23:40:00.000+05:30

...you are mediocre...for you have no ambition and you have no dreams...

A Letter from the Butterfly

2011-10-12T00:55:00.000+05:30

And She Said:

"The mighty pen stands alone

its glory days are over

The brush with paper, the touch of ink no more

it stays inside its cover

The human speaks of numbers and words

that the pen knew not of before

There is a buzz of gadget, the glare of its screen

no bits of paper that rolled and tore

The fingers that held this pen with love

now do a tapping dance

There's a buoyancy in his fingers

but of its presence in the heart, there is a milder chance

The human may one day stop ignoring his pen

or it may become a bit too late

Till then, work, as men would like it said

keeps the pen in a lonesome wait"

But darling butterfly, dont you know?

"There was a dream once,

worthy enough to be chased
And pen in hand,

after it I'd raced

There was a dream once,

that filled me with glee
And with words strung together,

my spirit would roam free

There was a dream once

and she gave my life meaning
But she walked away once,

whilst I was still dreaming

There was a dream once

but when it lay shattered I asked what went wrong
And she told me,

life is more than just words, rhymes and a song

There was a dream once

but reality came calling
Said I was stumbling too much,

said I was free falling

I walk with open eyes now,

mindful of worldly viles and worldly gains
There was a dream once

but of it now, only a memory remains..."

Bikram Wisodm

2011-09-10T23:35:00.000+05:30

When is a guy ready for marriage? When he loses all desire to put up a fight because he understands the irrelevance of being right!

Maybe its Just Lust

2011-08-24T14:28:00.000+05:30

Albern reached out to his dresser to turn-off the alarm just before it went off. He hadn’t needed it to wake him up today, he hadn’t slept all night as he lay awake thinking about Adele. He hadn’t known her for too long and yet, in just a few weeks, she’d already left him longing sleeplessly for her…as if the sleepless nights she gave when she was around in his apartment weren’t bad enough! He needed to gather himself and find the confident, successful architect that designed majestic buildings at Rosewood Scapes. Adele was supposed to be a fling, not the whirlwind affair that left him tied in knots as it was turning out to be. As he put on his running shoes, he knew he’d have to make today’s run a lot longer and a lot harder, running from any situation was always easy after all!

Adele was the consultant architect from Sybarite UK, the London based architectural firm that was collaborating with Rosewood on one of the most ambitious skyscrapers to dot NYC’s landscape yet. Albern was certain it’d be a monument, not just another tall sky-scraper to hang in New York’s already crowded skyline and if he wasn’t sure before, the ideas that had begun flowing when Adele had joined, reaffirmed his belief. His own creative juices seemed to flow copiously in her presence, even grown men can have such childish exuberance when they want to make an impression. Albern was responsible for how the building would look from the outside and he had plans of the grandest of scales and had spent many a hour designing in his mind every overlay and every little carving that would go up on the building’s arches, no matter how obscure. Adele was responsible for maximizing the space within Albern’s grand building and working out the best structural design to compliment his grandiose plans. And compliment him well she did, both in the design room and outside. They seemed perfect for each other.

He still remembered and played the scene when he first met her. He’d walked in late for the meeting ‘Tardy American’ she’d reprimanded him, ‘Fashionably late,’ he defended later. He apologized and made his way to his seat making acquaintance with the rest of the Sybarite team as he went along. He fumbled for words though when he reached Adele and it had taken Adele’s reprimand to get his tongue to retort with something intelligent…in hindsight though, he had to admit, it wasn’t quite all that intelligent. He seemed to have been completely mesmerized by an aura of confidence that surrounded her and told her of this as he held her close one night. ‘Bah! That was pure lust. I have that effect on most men,’ she’d said. It was always difficult to get her mushy.

Adele was beautiful but her enigma seemed to overshadow her beauty for Albern. She was confident, witty, charming, intelligent and playful when needed but there was always a touch of mystery to her that drew him even closer to her. Most women had been more than willing to talk about their past, their dreams, their emotions and just about anything after a couple of nights but with her it had been different. She seemed to only talk about work and utter gossip always keeping a part of her secluded from him. He’d try getting through to her, to get under her skin, so to speak but had always been greeted by a cheerful laugh and before he knew it, she’d hijack the topic to something totally different. In the weeks she used to spend in New York, Albern felt like he was the center of her world and yet, when she was back in London, she’d disappear like she couldn’t have cared less. Perhaps she was married he’d first thought but her finger bore no signs of a wedding ring nor did her phone keep buzzing whilst she was in New York, a husband would’ve called often, Albern reasoned. After all, who wouldn’t if they were married to Adele? She’d let slip a name on occasion, Marcus. An old flame she’d told him and quickly brushed aside the subject as always. His heart had felt a deep pang the few times it’d happened and he’d had to remind himself that this was supposed to be fun, a stress buster. But he’d felt drawn even more to her every time. He’d once made the mistake of telling her he was on the verge of falling in love with her when he lay spent beside her but she’d playfully chided that it was just pure lust and seemed to seal his lips with hers, eager to avoid the subject. He’d thought about ending it between them that night but he couldn’t get himself to do it. After all, the sex was incredible and he reasoned perhaps, it was lust that carried him on.

He was almost at the end of his run as he turned back onto his block and running hadn’t done him much good. There were still cobwebs in his head and he’d spent even more time thinking about her. As he entered his apartment and saw the clock hit 9, he realized Adele would’ve landed in Heathrow. He checked his phone to see a few missed calls from her and a few messages with sweet nothings in them. And just as always, that’d be the all that he’d hear from her till she got back the next week. He’d have to settle for the longing sleepless nights till then.

2011-08-14T11:27:00.000+05:30

Its 3 am and I lie awake, my sleep robbed

Its your fault again, you've left my heart throbbed

Dreams lie mixed with the events of the recent past

And I dont know how long I can keep these feelings masked

Perhaps if I'd let it all out my heart will be at ease

But to say it all would have consequences that wouldn't necessarily please

And so it lies bottled somewhere deep within

A burden I'd like to share but I dont know how to begin

Perhaps time will take its toll as it always has done

And just as always I wont have to say a thing, perhaps, just as always, I could run...

2011-08-04T22:03:00.003+05:30

There's a world where my best laid plans have always come good
Where the words I've said are never misunderstood
There's a world where my best intentions always have the right outcome
And I've always succeeded in whatever I've done
There's a world where even unintentionally have I never caused harm
Where unparalleled is my wit and inescapable is my charm
There's a world where all I've ever wanted, is all I've always had
And if you ever happen to find the way to get there, let me know...it sure as hell would make me glad...

Time to Part...

2011-07-27T10:23:00.000+05:30

Every passing day and you're betrayed by your lips

Its always the smallest detail but it always slips

Perhaps someone lesser might've taken long to know

But I love you too much and I've never needed you to show

Whats on your mind and worse, whats buried in your heart

I've always been able to tell, even when we've been far apart

So long before you'll know, I'd have prepared to part ways

Long before you give me the tears, I'd have done my crying under the greys

Consider this my farewell, my thank you for journeying with me

Perhaps another age, another time, another life...but right now, its time you set me free....

2011-07-21T22:42:00.001+05:30

It has been a long time...and to be honest, I haven't missed writing as much as I thought I would have and neither has the poet in me died as I thought he might. There are still a million rhymes running through this mind and they just dont let up. And just occasionally, one of them escapes out.
Not among my best, not by far but it's the only one that was resilient enough to escape and so be deserving enough to be here and now.

I was young
I was loved
But I wasn't happy in what I had
I was foolish
I was lost
And I thought I needed more to make me glad
Maybe chance
Maybe luck
Maybe something else will take me back
Maybe me
Maybe her
Maybe someday one of us will understand what we lack
Oh I think
Oh I feel
Oh I know I've been wrong
Oh I care
Oh I know
Oh I have missed you way too long
Come away
Come again
Come let me try and get it right
Come back
Come here
Come to me in more than just my dreams at night
And even now
And even then
And even more so when we're far apart
And till now
And till then
And till you get here I'll be nursing my heart
I love you
I love you
And I'm sorry I havent said it in as many words
I love you
I love you
And I'm hoping, someday, more than I've said, you would've heard...

(I just lost myself in Robbie Williams' Shes the One...loosely based on its tune...)

2011-06-21T22:44:00.000+05:30

Ok, so this is here only because I was just feeling terrible that I haven't been able to post anything in some time now...blame it on a writer's block or the damned people who've employed me and just won't let me sleep!
Well, anywho, some fabulous news, I got the copyright registered for my book so I now hold an official copyright to my name! How awesome is that?

Oh and I moved into my own little place in Bombay and that's what it looks like...well, that's about it for now...(in Cutey's signature style), until next time...

Pragmatic

2011-05-31T07:25:00.002+05:30

Yeah, life got the better of me
My brave but brief battle was in vain
I tried to dream things that no one did see
But ended up leaving it a dream in the end

Oh I was good and I knew it well
And I knew I could chase down those dreams
For there was a passion with which my heart did swell
When I spent countless hours by that stream

But she was resilient, was life in her quest
And stole my little joys away
Then sat there pointing at me and laughing aloud in jest
'Life always finds a way' she says

I thought I needed to give it space and give it time
And forgot t'was me that propounded time's irrelevance
Such poetic irony, could after all only be mine
My dreams and aspirations, separated from me, by my own white collared picket fence

I'd always dreaded ending in this fashion
Stuck in the rut, compromised and static
Long gone are the days when there was promise and so much passion
For today I was abused and called pragmatic...

2011-05-26T00:29:00.002+05:30

These days gone by, have been but a blur
The white collared life, has changed all that were
Not a minute to breathe, not a minute to pause
Not a minute to ponder on any other cause
But just on occasion, there are gentle reminders
Of a life somewhere, beyond these walls and binders
When on a cloudy day the wind gently rustles the leaves
And a gorgeous blue butterfly dances merrily on the breeze
She takes me away from the madness, if only for a while
But its long enough to cheer me for the day and leave me beaming with a smile...

Bikram's Equation of Success

2011-05-23T22:23:00.003+05:30

What you do when you're living = What you do for a living

The Beauty and The Beast Theory

2011-05-14T13:41:00.000+05:30

The Beauty and The Beast Theory

Have you ever looked at a couple and invariably wondered 'How the heck did someone like that end up with someone like that?'

Well, here's the explanation.

1. Beautiful people are narcissists...they couldnt stand the thought of being out done by someone, especially not their better halves!

2. They love being the center of attention...and they know pretty well, that 'that' thing aint gonna get any luckier so they're assured of undivided attention at all times.

3. They're human...and obviously easily jealous. It's so much easier to be with someone who is so out of depth with them that they couldn't evoke any jealousy...not in a million years!

And a host of other deviant reasons.

But eventually, these are the happiest of couples...the beast cant take eyes off the beauty...I mean, if you can get as lucky as that and yet keep it simple, who needs to be beautiful, right?

The Book...Just Waiting to be Written

2011-05-06T01:08:00.002+05:30

So tell me, what tales do you hold bottled within
For I look at you and I can't help feel, you're a story waiting to be written
I see you lost and pensive, deep in thought
Your eyes tell me you're in a world elsewhere and it happens oft
What are these secrets that you hold buried in your past
That your smiles betray, though you want 'em hidden away, deep in your heart
It fascinates me no end, everytime I see you put up your charade
I wonder if the others too can see past the illusion that for them you create
Tell me of these dreams that leave you haunted
I bet you've lain in bed and scores of sheep fruitlessly counted
For those traces of dark around your eyes
Tell their own story of your pain fraught with his lies
Oh I know there's been a him and never them since
The ghosts of a love-lost that still make you wince
There's much I wanna know of where you're going and where you've been
How I'd love to hear of it all, that till now you have seen
Oh, you're a good book just waiting to be written but I'm not gonna write of your fascinating pain and sorrow
Nor do I wanna read the book of your life...I just wanna be a part of your story, when you live it tomorrow....

Drunk Again

2011-05-02T14:52:00.003+05:30

Its 2am and I'm driving back home

Having met my cronies after long

With the windows rolled down, I'm driving all alone

On dark deserted streets, crooning out old songs

I love the lyrics and I love the tune

I'm no good and darned well aware

But that aint gonna stop me, I'm so gonna croon

It's too darned late to not scream without care

I slow down, not wanting this drive to end

For the wind in my hair feels real nice

I turn back to hit the road just as I'm on the last bend

I think I'm gonna make this a long long night

I slowly lose myself in the dark of the road

With every turn I'm drawn further in a maze

The city in the night casts a spell with its beautiful glow

And my head grows heavy in memories' haze

Before I know it, I'm in lanes that I've seen before

And I remember the endless hours I've spent here

I guess thats the thing about small towns and everywhere you go

You'll always find a memory waiting everywhere

And then I'm passing that yellow pad where lives the butterfly

But at 3 am she must be asleep

Its been some time since I saw her flutter by

I shrug my shoulders and think "Maybe next week"

I feel drowsiness taking hold of me

Guess its high time I head back

I trudge my way home, still as slowly

It's 4am as I hit the sack

I lie in bed, tired but my eyes are still open wide

As my thoughts wander back and forth

I wonder why insomnia plagues me tonight

Perhaps it were the third cuppa coffee..."Nah" I tell myself, "t'was definitely the fourth"

:D

Older than I wanna be

2011-04-30T14:11:00.000+05:30

I think I'm older now than I wanna be
For I spend too much time thinking of what has been
For I think too little now, of all my dreams
For the little joys now are just as little as to the others they seem
For I've learnt the polite smile and given up bursting from my seams
For when I think of her now I no longer gleam
For she too has become another memory that I've confused with a dream
For I wish now I could turn the clock and undo parts of what has been
And be back to a time when I could close my eyes and be sitting there, my feet dipping in the stream...

2011-04-23T23:13:00.002+05:30

Someday, not long from now, i will be gone
When my time in this world is through and done
But I wont fade away, not even long after I'm dead
I'll be living on and on, even if its only in your head
And I'm smiling as I think, that long after I roll over and die
You'll be reading some of what I've written and I know you'll remember this one and I know, I'll have made you cry!

(Hehehe...quite the sadist there, arent I?)
:D

This Girl I Know

2011-04-23T15:08:00.000+05:30

Everytime I close my eyes, I still always see you
The warmth of your love, more than any I ever knew
I sit here and thank my stars, for all the joy I have now got
But I thank them most, for to me, you they've brought
I wish I could express all that you mean to me
Tell you that for me, you are the true meaning of beauty
And so I flounder and for you, put together these words
Hoping when you read them, my thoughts you'll have heard
As sleep weighs in and to the land of dreams I drift slow
I wanna tell you I love you, now, more than ever and forever, o girl I know...

My First Cheque!

2011-04-12T23:37:00.000+05:30

Today, I received my first payment from the publishers for my book...a grand total of Rs. 126/- and it is the only money I'm proud of having earned!
Woohoo! Go Biks!

Driftwood

2011-04-04T08:27:00.005+05:30

I was once a tree, in a dense old forest
And amongst equals, I stood tall
Rain and shine, fed me strength
Till the day their axes, chopped me to my fall

They hacked our leaves and our branches
And left nothing but our stumps in the ground
I dont know what they wanted
When they left us scathed and bare, no more tall, just long and round

They pushed us in the river
Her waters carrying us somewhere downstream
Till I found refuge on the banks
Amongst big rocks and some old memories and dreams

The others though had resigned
To whatever it was their fates had deemed
None stopped for refuge
Though of them I pleaded and screamed

As winter came by
And the waters took a chill
I saw the last of my friends float down
The last one to fall from our hill

My spirit slowly was broken
As rain and shine weakened me now
A rot in me had settled
And the futility of my situation I saw

Then one day the river swelled
When the rains poured down hard
And I let myself be washed out of my rocky lagoon
Rotten, battered and scarred

I floated downstream on the current
Saw none of the friends that I'd hoped I would
And I closed my eyes one last time
As all spirit left me and I resigned to fate like all those others, just another driftwood...

I Ain't Lettin Go...

2011-03-31T23:00:00.003+05:30

I'm drunk with love and you're to blame
And I wish you'd blame me too
I pass you the drink and look askance
Till our eyes meet and I shy and shrug away from you

Sprawled on the couch, I see you lie
But I'm not quite sure if we're tipsy yet
I take another gulp from the drink again
And slouch further with every breath

You've stayed here so long and I feel glad
Yet it seems it's not been long enough
I look at you fondly, for the umpteenth time
Maybe you really could change my mind about love

I know quite well, that I'm tying you down
That my overbeaing shade denies you joys of rain and shine
But as the drink dwindles down to its last drops, I know I wont let you go
For if I did, maybe you'll come back but I fear, for love, I won't change my mind...

(And this one's inspired too...maybe you'll get to read the one that inspired this someday too!)

Fallen Leaves from the Butterfly's Gardens...

2011-03-31T22:59:00.001+05:30

Sitting in a crowded bus, a butterfly drowned me in fallen leaves

And the leaves stayed with me right there, when of them I begged please

Then they piled on upon me and with them blew me far away

To my home of many years, where not so long ago I did stay

In every leaf I saw, my hopes and dreams as they were

In a time that seems long past, so long, even the memory is a blur

But the leaves said they'd been trod upon, that their crunched form held the past

That no matter where I go now, in them, those memories will forever last

So one day when I come back, after times well spent elsewhere

To the place where my heart so fondly rests, that they'd still be right there

To help me find my way back, to welcome me home again

In the gardens of the butterfly, where I may still tread on them once again...

(Maybe someday you will read the original that inspired this one...one of the best poems I've read, period. Ah well, until then, you can read this one...)

Pepeo

2011-03-20T19:31:00.000+05:30

The world seemed a little too grey
As it happens sometimes, when things dont go your way
In search of answers, I wandered alone
Amongst sands and streams and sticks and stones
Then in the distance, I spotted something new
With shuffling steps, closer I drew
I stood mesmerised when I finally caught a clear glance
As she fluttered around in her sprightly dance
Everything she touched seemed to burst in so many colours
So I took a few more steps hoping to borrow some of hers
She seemed to notice and flittered nearer
Brightened my world as we grew dearer
She took me away, on her flights of fancy
Her beautiful wings, that lend colour to all the dullness I see
Mischief and charm that fill forlorn hearts with glee
How I cherish these times, these times of the butterfly and me...

2011-03-11T12:38:00.001+05:30

I'm not short on words, not by a long stretch
Yet, I find myself floundering around
A long pause I take, as if to catch my breath
Yet when my lips part and my tongue swaggers, I hear not even the whisper of a sound

I'm not short on thoughts, oh anything but
Yet, I seem to be caught off guard
And I close my eyes, as if to muster my guts
Yet when I open them up, I betray no intelligence, not even a stray shard

I'm not confused, no not at all
Yet, clarity seems a far cry
Into the depths of doubt, I try to avoid a freefall
Yet, I've deserted me, no more myself am I

I'm not scared, not even of the unknown
Yet, pensiveness today seems a part of me
I look away, trying to come to terms with what within has grown
Yet, I can't help but look again, for your beauty makes me want more of that miserable glee...

(You're not beautiful because you look pretty, you're beautiful for the way I see you behind that pretty face...)

The Voices In My Head

2011-03-02T01:07:00.005+05:30

Too many times that I've wanted to get up and leave
Tired of all the tricks that they keep pulling up their sleeve
Too many practical conversations that I've been a part of
And I've really grown tired of listening now
Their voice of impeccable reason and their condescending smile
They don't know it but they've lost me and it's been quite a while
They still think they know me and what I really need
They might've known better if they'd have listened and paid more heed
All those times that they've found me here, my feet dipping in the stream
If they'd really seen me, they'd know what I really wanna do is dream
I wanna shout out and tell them practicality and reason is their way not mine
But for some reason I just shut myself up again and sit here in silence, every single time...

2011-02-23T21:57:00.000+05:30

Been long since the butterfly had fluttered my way

In a little cocoon she seemed to lay hidden away

But at long last I spotted her today

By a small garden, in the middle of day

Still as graceful as I remembered the butterfly to be

Still a picture of unfettered beauty

I sat near and smiled with unabashed glee

That stemmed from the benefit of such jocund company

A bitter sweet nectar we feasted upon

As the mist of conversation was switched on

Reminiscing flights in times bygone

Dreaming of those we’ll make in tomorrow’s beautiful dawn

And the moments piled as hours passed by

Life’s turbulence that the afternoon did belie

Yet soon enough reality and evening drew nigh

As I stood and watched her flit away again, that flittering, fluttering butterfly…

Sleepless

2011-02-15T11:42:00.002+05:30

No weariness in these eyes yet
Though the clock says its almost dawn
A formidable foe I seem to have met
For these lips let pass not even a stray yawn

Have spent hours sleepless in bed
Thoughts running within in scores
Wish I could show you what runs in my head
Maybe you could help me soothe some sores

I've tried to blank my mind to sleep
But tonight theres too much noise inside
Too many doubts rooted far too deep
From them theres no place left to hide

No one to sing me a lullaby
Nor to cozily cuddle to
Tossing and turning all night I lie
And my misery I share with you...

A Very Interesting Weekend

2011-02-14T23:08:00.000+05:30

My best friends will soon be married! And I get to be a part of their story forever!
For starters though, Sarthak (name unchanged) is a clot. After dating for 7 odd years, he finally was gonna introduce his better half to his folks. Although, Sarthak being Sarthak, this couldn't be just the regular awkwardest moment in life for the girl, no. It had to be the weirdest day in life for her. I bet she ought to have known right? He is her choice after all!
Sarthak, was in Delhi, his parents and his soon to be fiance, were in Pune. Nice huh? So what does he do? He asks me to accompany her to make it a little less awkward for her! Sigh...the things I do for my friends!
Nonetheless, it was a pleasant evening with Sarthak's parents, grandparents, uncle, aunt, his cousins and the future Mrs. S! Was one of the most memorable evenings in my life, one that I'll be telling not just my kids and grandkids but the S's kids and grandkids! After all, isn't that what friends are for?

My Favourite Lines By Me

2011-02-06T17:04:00.004+05:30

For all those times we thought we’d be together forever

That we won’t have to say our good-byes, ever

We forgot that nothing ever remains the same

And people leave for the same reasons they came

Now things have happened

And times have changed

And we’ve learnt to look upon life

Like nothings strange…

Help?

2011-01-30T10:23:00.001+05:30

Life sometimes doesn't make any sense
Mysteries of the divine ways beyond mortal cognizance
Broken hearts and broken dreams that hurt more than broken toes
Trying to climb out but digging deeper into those lows
Pensive and pennant, searching for answers all alone
But the quagmire deepens for the answers have shrunk and the questions grown
Groping and flailing and snatching at straws
Prisoner to those inherent inextinguishable human flaws
And in their wake, staring sleeplessly in the dark at an invisible ceiling
Surrounded by gloom and that sickening hopeless feeling
Not yet stranded though for there is still some help about
But then again, would it be worth reaching for the hands that now seem to reach out?

For Lehar

2011-01-27T23:19:00.000+05:30

I lived once in a city that I could only look at with disdain

For all its messes, crowds and other such unbearable pain

And I met this girl that loved it to bits

Everywhere she looked, she saw sheer beauty and its wonderful spirit

I tried my best to show her its faults

But even in them, she would always show me the beautiful parts

Admittedly, I soon fell in love too

With Bombay and my dear friend, Patlu…

A wonderful friend, right from the start

A strange girl, with a wonderful heart

She saw the good in me, even in all that was bad

The warmth of her smile, always left me feeling glad

A personality colored with a million different hues

Outspoken, headstrong and staunch about her views

About life and love, and a whole lotta issues

Love you for being ‘Cute n Confused’!

This one's been long overdue! Sorry Lehar, took me long enough!

2011-01-21T16:17:00.000+05:30

Standing on the precipice of the unknown
Discomforted by what has come
Anxious for what will soon be gone

Dreams formed firm of what it should be
Apprehensively in love with what I did see
Nervous as hell, for I want to set them free

I find myself tied down by what is reality
Cautious with impulses of practicality
Confused by the fears and rigours of mortality

Though everything suggests I ought to otherwise

I'm gonna chase what in my heart now lies
Draw strength from the knots in my stomach and the butterflies

(The end, punnily enough, was thanks to the butterfly!)

Bikram Wisodm

2011-01-20T22:57:00.002+05:30

Sometimes we think we've got plenty of time, sometimes we think we're running out...I'm beginning to believe it's just irrelevant!

Wisdom

2011-01-20T00:43:00.002+05:30

When I started out, I knew I had none
The stuff I read, always reinforced that I was a bum
And the more I sought it in others, the more I learnt
That if I was ever gonna get any, it wasn't gonna be without getting my fingers burnt

And so I spent my days as a kid, often listless
The expectations of others, always reinforced I was a mess
And the more I tried to sort myself out, the more I was aware
That if I was ever gonna get any, it wasn't gonna be without a little scare

When I grew up a little more, I looked hard to try and find
But what the others saw, always reinforced I was blind
And the more I tried to see, the more I realised
That if I was ever gonna get any, it wasn't gonna be without skinning my hide

I spent my days as a teen, mostly in a haze
The confusion that was unfolding, always reinforced I was crazed
And the more I tried to seek clarity, the more I understood
That if I was ever gonna get any, it wasn't gonna be without being misunderstood

In my days as a young man, I have now come to know
What I seemed to have sought, was just a misleading show
And the more I try to be real, the more I seem to comprehend
That if I'm ever gonna get any, it wont be before the end...

Midnight Drive

2011-01-15T01:45:00.004+05:30

A little bit of moonlight and a few scattered stars

Dimly lit roads and a few passing cars

The rumble of the engine drowns the chill in the air

And yes its past midnight but I still got wind in my hair

Light from the headlamp brightens up the way ahead

But through the maze of my thoughts in darkness I tread

I try sorting them but give up soon after

I seem to be haunted by my own mocking laughter

With a good dose of the throttle the engine I gun

Far from here the bike and me do run

The dark landscape meanwhile has changed unseen

And at the end of my ride I'm back where I'd begun, as if never away from here have I been....

Life at 23 With This Girl I Know

2011-01-07T23:32:00.000+05:30

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/bikram-snehi-life-23-girl-i-know

And if you so wish, you can buy the book here!
For the uninitiated, it's a selective collection of my poems.

Wishing You a Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T02:08:00.000+05:30

Another year that's come and gone
Some things we've lost, some things we've won
Through storms that knocked the wind out of our sail
We carried on, on wafts of hope when all else did fail
More lessons that we learnt under life's folds
Of dreams and compromises that life still holds
And yet, there is much still to learn
For we despise much and for much we yearn
So we carry on our quest in our mortal days
To understand life and it's mysterious ways
With the same old hopes, the same old dreams but a renewed vigour
We walk in again, to win some and lose some, in the unknown realm of another new year....

Staring at a frayed silhouette...

2010-12-24T13:08:00.000+05:30

Sleepless, an hour past midnight
I sit at the window, bathed in moonlight
Staring at the frayed silhouette of the tree outside
I introspect what's recently been a rough ride
My wishes were granted, as they always seem to be
Trouble of course, is I never know what's good for me
The stubborn child within, refuses to accept he's been wrong
And even less, admit its time to move on
He just seems to think there's something better even now
Plays with fantasies wishing they'd come to life somehow
Reality to him always seems surreal
That optimist thinks the future holds a better deal
But I got Matchbox 20 playing in the background
And even they believe 'that the world is burning to the ground'
Sigh, providence and the universe's cryptic ways
Messing with me and my mortal days
I guess its just as well then, that in the dark I continue to stare
At frayed dark silhouettes, that seem adept to answer questions, that I wouldn't dare...

Slipping Through My Fingers...

2010-12-13T11:33:00.000+05:30

Life's been up and life's been down

Given me many a smile and many a frown

I've been a fool though, all along

When I should've done right, I've always done wrong

Much that I've done, better could've been

If beyond my flaws, I could've seen...

I try in vain to hold on

But before I can get a grip, the moment is gone

I'm chasing shadows, in a losing game

And as much as I want, nothing remains the same

For more than a moment nothing lingers

Joy, love, life...slipping through my fingers...

So in Other News

2010-12-12T10:31:00.000+05:30

1. I'm out of a job...I quit and have no plans of what I'm gonna do now. Taking each day as it comes for now...

2. Remember that book I was talking about, the collection of poetry? Well, check this out.

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/bikram-snehi-life-23-girl-i-know

There's still a little editing left on it, hence isn't quite available for sale but soon enough.

So, there...some interesting stuff happening in my life, apparently!

2010-12-06T12:07:00.000+05:30

Run as far as you like, you still will be found
Run as fast as you like, you're still losing ground
Ignore it as long as you want, you still will come face to face
Ignore it as much as you want, it's still the truth of our days
Illusions you may conjure but the comfort ain't gonna last
You just don't know it yet but death's right around the corner and it's coming fast....

Keep Faith

2010-11-30T13:01:00.000+05:30

Our lives are long and there is much we still know not
And it holds a lot more for us than we've already got
At times like these, you'd think life's unfair
With good reason too, for there's much you bear
I'd like to tell you, that it wont get tougher
To tell you, that you wont suffer
But it's life's way of teaching us her lessons
To test our threshold, before the pain lessens
But there's always something better in store
Just hang in there, patiently endure
For if you aren't lost, you would never find your way
And beyond tomorrow, waits another new day
Smile, keep faith and live the way you do
For I know no one, that can live your life, as well as you do

Conversation with the Butterfly

2010-11-29T12:06:00.000+05:30

The 'Butterfly' wondered and said to me :

"Now and then, I see life, it’s a distant second

The first is always the dream

Caught squarely between the hazy view of morning twilight

And the rues of awakened and gloomy realities

It runs along and finds itself in the alacrity endowed to the mists of lands so pure

Life in motion but it seems inept to meet that which shimmers up ahead

The faith that lingers behind but still it swaggers in its drunken charm

You wait and gather faith or flounce and give in to the magical pull

Why do they break at times and make us wonder thus

Why do they wander so apart, unendurable first yet settling deep

For in togetherness each thrives, as one you become

But do they really stand apart at times?

Or does life itself break its ranks to sit idle and drool, to sit idle and despair?

Do you think of life as the dew that binds the cold and warm

Or as being empty to a dream, void of faith and hope?

The opulence of that peep into the future and the sustenance of hope

Doth always rekindle in you, as it doth in me

Life in its innate, ground in freedom and the courage

So true to nature, so far from conscious thought

And yet I sit in retrospect to think of one time

If I ever felt them apart, if ever did faith fall behind

The question impresses upon the foolish who think while others do

That in the prism of our being, you can’t deny a differential focus

Nor can you hover in a thick vacuum

I’m no stranger to each of the three parts as are many that surround me

And then again, it’s not each apart as I put it right?

It’s just one simple life; there are some wanting to take the reins

Some waiting, not fully knowing when the game really began."

And t'was that which I had long pondered so I replied :

"I dunno if life comes second or first
But I'm vaguely aware of my own thirst
To seek solace in memories when things go wrong
And seek hope in my dreams when I cant be strong
It's one step forward and one step back
In the mortal dance to an unheard track
My dreams and my hopes, leave reality muddled
And I live a reality that leaves me befuddled
I seek no clarity now for there is none to be found
It's all just an illusion of life, to which we all are bound...."

Bikram Wisodm

2010-11-23T14:21:00.000+05:30

The trouble with dreams? You don't have to work too hard to have one...which is why, they shatter just as easily, all you have to do, is open your eyes, often to a lesser reality!

Let Bygones be Bygones...

2010-11-16T00:44:00.000+05:30

Men are funny beings, they sure have life figured out all wrong... Or at least, its true about me. It's been a long journey only to come back to square one, a twelve year voyage I think. I dont think I'll ever be able to face the 18 year old me, at least not in my current avatar. A crisp white shirt, albeit sleeves rolled up...a slim black tie, albeit the knot hanging by the second button, black cotton pants over shiny formal shoes and a very expensive watch, which perhaps is the only remaining trait of the wise-old me, still worn on my right wrist. It was something no one could figure why. Some assumed I was ambidextrous, some thought I was weird but I guess I never wanted to grow up, be a part of the crowd and give up on those insipid, immature dreams. At least I'd like to believe so...especially today!

The car parked by the wayside and me splayed on the bonnet must sure evoke a few eyebrows. I dont think they see weirdos like me everyday. It's not a deserted backyard road after all. Nor is it your ordinary car. Yeah, life's been good. Made a lotta money, seen a lotta places, done a lotta things and yet, at 30, here, now, I feel outdone by the wisdom of an 18 year old. So what if it was me? I was supposed to get smarter, not stupider. Bah! Rat race...so what if you're winning? There are no prizes in store! The prizes were elsewhere, not in the friggin race. Took me long enough to realize...again. I still wonder how that imbecile 18 year old could've figured it all out before I did...years earlier than I did for myself!

And to think, it all began in her pursuit, the MBA, the lucrative job and somewhere along the way, got so absorbed in the race, I forgot I was chasing her, not the green. Sigh...

It was 10 years ago, right here that I last saw her. 10 years ago that I promised I was only doing this to pay off the loan. 10 years ago that I promised her, I'd never stop writing...10 years ago, when I last did write...but at least, 10 years later, here I am now, ready to put it all behind. 10 years later, I am more than a little rusty but I think, it still is a decent rhyme. I'm hoping she'll still like it, that without a word of appreciation, with just her little smile, she'll still file it in that green college file of mine...but most of all, 10 years later, I'm hoping more than anything else, that when I shout her name from under her window here, she'll pop her head out, give me the fake binocular search with her fingers curled and come running down to meet me...

But then again, it has been 10 years. I wonder if I should call her name out. I jump off the bonnet, look at my keys and then glance at her window and I wonder, if perhaps, I should let bygones be bygones...

Life Moves On...

2010-11-10T15:03:00.002+05:30

It's drizzling slightly, makes the weather romantic. Needless to say, if you're taking a walk by the promenade, you reminisce some old memories. I'm supposed to meet an old friend today and I'm awash with her thoughts right now. It's been a long time since I've met her...well, not really, maybe a month but compared to the days gone by when I met her thrice a day, it seems like an eternity.
It's ironic how I've wanted this for myself...guess I am weird but I'd thought I'd needed to experience the travails of the human, 9-5, white-collared life. Idiot that I am. I've managed to push my friends away, learnt to long for weekends and to count every second from 9 to 5.30. Take her for example. I've managed to reach a point where I only speak to her once in 10 days. I still remember so fondly how we used to text each every 10 minutes...even silly things like 'Just got into the ric...' Why, you ask? I dont know...puppy love, I guess...but then, this is so much better, isnt it? Grown ups, respecting each other's space, still close as ever despite the infrequency of contact.
In a while, dreams, memories and reality all culminate into one when she steps out of the car...still breathtakingly beautiful, still making me weak in the knees and still melting me with her touch...it takes a while for me to gather my senses and utter the first few words...but thats alright, she seems to be bursting with chatter, lots to catch up on after all! Soon enough we're moving back and forth with the conversation, a lotta flirting, a lotta sarcasm and a lotta good natured banter...the fondness, is still evident.
I smile to myself, assured, that despite everything, we're still close as ever...that we're still more than best friends.
As we're sitting together, she checks her cell. I'm admiring her beautifully painted fingernails when I half-accidentally, read the text-
'Just got dropped near the bridge...catching a ric now. How's your evening coming along?'
And then my comfortable illusions are shattered and I realize grimly, life moves on...

Kanjur Waiting

2010-11-01T22:05:00.000+05:30

A typical day, begins at 5 a.m. when her number is dialed and after about 7 or 8 calls, she finally cuts one of the calls to let it be known that she's awake. Then slumber takes over again until quarter to seven when the maid rings the bell and it's time to finally wake up. It's the same old, same old for me everyday, I despise work-life...I'm sure I'm meant for bigger and better things but then I figure, so is the thought for every other mortal caught in the drudgery of 9-5. The trudge to the basin is the hardest part of the day and when the face in the mirror stares back, it's just as hard to explain the status quo. ''Sheesh, women!''

Stepping into the shower and then after a good three minutes of self convincing to get over the disdain for cold water, finally under it, it feels like the movies. A slow bath spent humming slow songs with dreams and memories of her. ''Darned love sickness!''

Sid's still in the bath and the clock's inching closer to 7.32 so looks like I'm gonna have to ditch him again today. Between a friend and an hour's sleep on the journey to VT, I know which one I'm gonna choose! I walk down into the parking lot and look at my bike, she's due a visit to the mechanic's. I get astride and set my foot comfortably on the missing footrest and as always, think back to the days when I'd pick her up and she'd tell me to shift behind. Women shouldn't be allowed to drive, the phantom footrest is proof enough, innit? ''Sigh! Those were the days!''

As the train draws into the platform, finally the madness and the rush of Bombay take over. The dreamy, romantic me takes a backseat somewhere as the more human parts take over and I climb onto the moving train and secure my window seat. The day has finally begun. The rest of the hour long journey from Vashi is spent as it always is, sleeping with absolutely no thoughts running through my head.

I'm an Investment Banker apparently and in the lucrative field of debt broking. It's a cyclical business and I have managed to step into it while it's headed to rock-bottom. Needless to say, work isnt as exciting as it might have been and I hurtle through the rest of the day rather mechanically. It's a race everyday between my sanity and the clock to see who can outrun the other to reach 5.30...fortunately enough, the clock's won everyday till now. But sanity ain't too far behind, maybe one of these days it'll win and run out of my head...maybe then I'll do something really stupid. But until then, I shut my PC, pack my bags and leave smiling like everyone else around me.

It's time to board the train again. Music in my ears and I doze off for a while. An hour later, I get off and walk over to the end of the bridge, sit on the side rails with a book in my hand and alert her of my presence, ''Kanjur Waiting...'' it's the same text everyday. She arrives half an hour later, sits next to me for a while and I finish the chapter I'm reading. Conversation soon fills up the silence held for so long and we're talking about our day, about the turmoils at hand and our own sense of wonder about life and it's ability to surprise us with something new everyday, despite the mundaneness of our schedules.

It isnt too long before we're talking about our futures again. She's been on a break with her ex for the past year and keeps wondering about what she is going to do when she does meet him on the 1st of Jan. I wanna tell her that she shouldn't be with him but for some reason, like every other day, I hold my silence and listen to her think out aloud.

We get off at Currey Road and it's time to say good-bye for the day. I open my mouth to say ''Good night...'' but end up saying something to the order of ''Will you marry me?'' She looks at me, with a smile first and then with tears in her eyes. Without another word, she turns around and walks home. I stare after her for a while and then turn around to make the long journey back home.

The next day begins the same way, 6 calls before she finally cuts my call. I force myself through the rest of the day and sanity still loses the race to 5.30. I reach Kanjur again, wondering if she'll come by today. As ever, I sit here on the railings, book in my hand and send her the text ''Kanjur Waiting...''

In Love, All Over Again!

2010-10-31T14:38:00.000+05:30

Murphy's Law

2010-10-28T16:03:00.002+05:30

Old man Murphy and his silly infallible law
Ruined perfect situations by prophecizing their flaw
Just when things are perfect and we begin to look up
Stupid little hurdles leave us all shook up
Wise-crack Mr. Murphy, takes no time to pass a wicked smile
It's like he's snickering to say 'I told you so all the while!'
And he reminds your bruised ego, that pricks a little still
'Everything that can go wrong, eventually will'
I bet like me, you too then curse him raw
Damn old man Murphy and his silly infallible law!

Pepeo - The Butterfly

2010-10-25T13:50:00.003+05:30

Dull environs
And a chill in the air
Perfect ingredients
To push my mind away from here
Slowly I slip
To a world of my own
Amongst those flowers and streams
A presence that only recently I've known
She flitters and flutters

Gleaming in the soft sunlight
I sit down on the grass
Admiring the grace of her flight
She moves randomly
From one flower to the next
Pausing just occasionally
To let her wings rest
She stretches out lazily
To show off her colours, shining and gleamy
Then takes flight again
Assured that she's left me dreamy
I get up from my spot
Ready to follow her around
But in the blink of an eye
She's gone again, without a hint or a sound
I look around but reality tugs at me
And I blink back with a sigh
I'm left longing once again
For whence I'd see, that flittering, fluttering butterfly...

Why?

2010-10-18T23:07:00.000+05:30

They had a crisis at hand, no doubt about it. A matter of life and death...or perhaps, the end of a quest having now figured out everything about life and death. Millennia of evolution had finally led to this point where they now knew how and why they continued the cycle of life and death, the point where every question that could be asked, had finally been answered. It'd been a day that had been looked forward to for as long as could be remembered and unanimously agreed upon to be looked at as the pinnacle of evolution, the crowning glory for all forms of existence.
Yet, there is always somebody with a counterview no matter how good the situation is, so why should this occassion have been any different? The lone mad-man who believed this day to be the bane for all existence. Who saw the realisation of ultimate knowledge as the end of all life, for if all questions had been answered, what would be the point of life carrying on any further? All life that did exist with the ultimate knowledge at hand, would live on dissatisfied and disillusioned. The point where wisdom itself, would undo all it had helped achieve thus far.
And his fears had been realised. There was a sudden and utter feeling of pointlessness. A calm that extended so deep, that all desire to continue with life had been lost. The world lay itself to decay without care.
But the doubter had been prepared. Before all questions could have been answered, he designed a world that would never figure out the ultimate truth. A world where the living were always dis-satisfied and eager to seek answers but all they'd discover were more questions. And he built that world far away from other prying eyes. As one world lay to decay upon it's own greatness, far away in great secrecy, the non-believer gave life a chance to continue, in one form or the other...
And even today, life flows in a continual circle and the living are eternally locked in the quest to find the ultimate truth...but to His greatest success, none can be found. All that was found, was the greatest question...

I Love My Illusions

2010-10-11T12:18:00.000+05:30

I love my illusions
With them my life just eases
I refuse to give 'em up
They smoothen out all the creases
I sit and dream fondly
Of things that never were
I dont care if they come to fruition
Or forever, just remain a blur
I play with the same scenes
Each time conjuring different versions
My life my love my dreams
I love my illusions...

The Independence of Moments and Eternity Theorem

2010-10-07T16:30:00.000+05:30

What is the past? Nothing more than the moment you just spent thinking about it.
What is the future? An eternity that lies somewhere in the distance from where you are right now.

So here's the deal. How can a moment be held responsible for the fate of an eternity? Not logical is it?
So life must roll on in anticipation of the eternity to come rather than in remorse or regret or even over-zealous celebration of a moment that has long passed by, right?

And there you have it, 'The Independence of Moments and Eternity Theorem!'

Funnily enough, by virtue of it's own argument, for this theorem to be validated, it should be lost in a moment too!

2010-10-04T21:49:00.000+05:30

Love maybe beautiful but it's over-rated
The best affairs are always the ones that are ill-fated
While it lasts, you walk with a deluded smile, feeling elated
And forget, with perilous consequences, everything in life, is post-dated

Then fate strikes, to overturn your apple cart

The ones you thought you'd grow old with, pack their bags and depart
In their wake, you learn to grow up, stronger in the pain of being apart
And all you're left with, are bygone memories to cherish and the task of nursing your broken heart

2010-10-02T11:30:00.001+05:30

Looking at life through retrospective lenses
I wanna play with time, go back and mend some fences
But foresight then lights up the past in all it's irrelevances
And here I lie in the present, at the edge of reason and the end of my senses...

Time

2010-09-23T23:41:00.001+05:30

Time is a bit too relative, to make any sense
Past, present and future, always in a state, we appropriately call tense

And it's not a smooth fabric, woven in harmonic peace

It's a crude patch-work, strung together piece by piece

We stumble, we fumble and grope our way, seemingly forward

An illusionary direction, to counter the nothingness of life, to comfort ourselves we've conjured

And we try to capture in stillness, frame by frame, that which we fail to fathom

In our eternal quest, to rationalize it all, for we fail to understand the serenity of the random

We live on, trying to best it all, but no matter how great our legend or how good our lore

It'll all be rendered feeble soon, for in time's world of relativity, everything lasts only a moment and no more...

I Dare 2 Compete

2010-09-23T15:12:00.001+05:30

http://www.dare2compete.com/

It isn’t easy being a bespectacled, lanky, young man…especially if you’re 26 and still single. Or maybe I got that backwards, you’re 26 and still single because you’re a bespectacled, lanky young man! And when you win the title ‘Never Been Kissed’ in college, your chances aren’t really brighter either!

And don’t let anyone fool you with rubbish wisdom like ‘Beauty is skin deep’ and ‘Never judge a book by it’s cover’ those are granny’s tales and applicable only to grandmothers. Admittedly, those aren’t really the interesting kind, are they?

So if you’re a guy like me, you’re in presence of adversity, the insurmountable kind! And well, God bless your soul, but you gotta be prepared for a dogged fight. To rephrase Rocky Balboa’s words more appropriately, ‘It isn’t about how many times you get turned down, it’s about how many times you can ask her out again!’

Ummm, I’d love to continue this but I’ll have to take a rain-check…there’s this hot chick that just got up to go to the coffee machine and there’s already that macho dude from the next cubicle getting up to join her! Maybe I’ll get lucky today, so adios amigo!

Yatra.com : I don't just travel, I make it a journey, I am a yatri!

Dreaming of Dreams Long Lost

2010-09-05T22:29:00.000+05:30

i sit by myself
dreaming of dreams long lost
to be where we are
so many sacrifices were cost
now things have happened
and our lives have changed
and we’ve learnt to look upon life
like nothings strange
gone are the days
when as boys we'd dreamed
and with unbridled joy
at little rocks we'd laughed and screamed
now we feel grown up
with responsibilities galore
our ships have set sail
for some distant shore
i look on the seas
for i know there they too are
like me they ride the waves
but i see no one nor near nor far
and the journey seems lonely
though we're all in it together
caught up in our lives
tied down by our own tethers
and some day at our deathbeds
we'll look back on our lives
see what we've achieved
for all that we now strive
to be where we will
so many sacrifices would have cost
yet, we'll lie by ourselves
dreaming of dreams long lost

Feeling a Little Conventionally Cheesy

2010-09-03T11:17:00.000+05:30

Well, it seems I'm being dragged into the realms of conventional mortality! My thoughts these days aren't getting any more abstract, au contraire, they seem to be falling in line with conventional wisdom...which is probably why I am not tagging this one as 'Bikram Wisodm!'

1. A few zeroes can put the mind at unease but not even a plethora could bring it peace!

(Yeah, really...I know, cliched and old...)

2. Love like an alarm clock...no matter how much you curse it, it still wakes you up in the morning rather dutifully!

(Yeah...the analogy is painful, more than the subject...but such is my life right now!
You know how they say be careful what you wish for? Well, looks like I have had another realisation! I'd wished to be stuck in the mortal ways in a 9-5 job to see if I could still maintain my eccentricities. With every passing day, it seems, I slip further into the mire of humanity that is Bombay! As you can plainly see, the poetry has been reduced to a trickle and well, now also, this.)

Scars...

2010-08-29T20:08:00.001+05:30

I was sitting at the barber shop today, waiting for my turn on the chair. With little or nothing to do, I started staring at the floor, eager to avoid conversation with some random acquaintances that one is bound to meet having lived in the same locality for more than a decade and a half. It was one of the rare days that I'd actually bothered to venture out in my shorts so a stare directed towards the ground, inevitably drew my attention to my legs. (For mercy's sake, I will spare you the description of my moderately hairy, slightly slender legs...wait...ok, damage done...)
For those who have known me for ages, you know how I have been prone to diving around on the field, sometimes even on tarred basketball courts and occasionally of course, my union with mother earth has been accidental. All these meetings with the ground at our feet, have of course, led to a few abrasions and the like and my knees are pretty much a time map of the misadventures of my past.
But then, I'm not the only one who's had their share of abrasive stories, am I? Yet, of all the people, I seem to wear my scars rather pronounced. The injuries have long healed but somehow, the scars have never gone...no matter how trivial the injury. Which brought me to think, my scars pretty much summarize who I am. I seem to enjoy what I'm doing a lot and don't mind getting hurt in the process but somehow, I seem to hold on to every little memory as a reminder of where I've been, what I've done. Better than getting tattoos to mark your adventures, wouldn't you say?
Then again, this does have it's downsides...after all, some scars should heal without a trace...not good to carry 'em around, is it? I may not be vindictive and I might even forgive easily but I definitely don't forget.... Ah well, win some, lose some!

2010-08-25T09:40:00.000+05:30

Far across the distance
Not measured in miles or time
I sit rejoicing in memories
From this inglorious life of mine
The dreams have long been vanquished
And eternal hope lies lost
The past holds all promise
My future bears it's cost
To make sense of what is not
Illusions I conjure
Yet despite my brave attempts
I know nothing for sure
Far away in fires
All aspiration will burn
I stoke them to simmer longer
In their ashes lie lessons I learn
Darkness holds no false promises
I look forward to the night
There wont be any disappointments
And I find peace at twilight
It really doesn't matter
All my joy and strife
The fool that I am
I think I live life

When I'm at Work...

2010-08-17T12:47:00.000+05:30

(Sung loosely to the tune of 'When you're gone' by Bryan Adams and Mel C)

(When at work)
I've been wandering around the office all day
Wondering what the hell to do
Yeah, I'm trying to concentrate
But it just spoils my mood
Well, the phone don't ring
'Cos even you're at work
And I'm tired of sitting here alone
Got the PC on
'Cos the boss' keeps buggin
And I wanna take a gun, point n shoot

Baby, I'm at work, and I realise this is wrong
The days go on and on and the hours just seem so long
Even food don't taste that good
Drink ain't doing what it should
Things just feel so wrong
Baby, when I'm at work, yeah

I've been walking up and down these bays
Trying to find somewhere to go
Yeah, I'm lookin' for a cheery face
But there's not one I know
Oh, this is torture, this is pain
It feels like I'm gonna go insane

I hope I'm gonna quit real soon
'Cos I don't know what to do

Baby, I'm at work, and I realise this is wrong
The days go on and on and the hours just seem so long
Even food don't taste that good
Drink ain't doing what it should
Things just feel so wrong
Baby, when at I'm at work, yeah

Hey, don't go to work, don't go
Yeah, quit, resign, go on
Don't go, don't go, well, biki

Oh, baby, when I'm at work (when I'm at work)
I realise this is wrong (so friggin wrong)
The days go on and on
And the hours just seem so long
Even food don't taste that good
Oh, drink ain't doing what it should
Oh, things just feel so wrong (so wrong)
Baby, when I'm at work (at work)
Oh, baby, when I'm at work
Yeah, baby, when I'm at work

I am responsible...

2010-08-16T16:52:00.000+05:30

And I thoroughly plead not guilty to all charges accusing me otherwise...I may not be responsible for my actions but I am thoroughly responsible while suffering the consequences!

Bikram's Twisted Dictionary

2010-08-10T11:27:00.000+05:30

Devote - To choose to forego all thought processes that would enable the mind to vote on any subject in favour of accepting someone else's thoughts and beliefs!

Hostile - The behavior of the host towards his guests!

2010-08-09T15:29:00.000+05:30

If it weren't for money, I'd be living like a millionaire!

Coffee @ Darios

2010-07-23T16:00:00.000+05:30

Slightly overcast, the weather serene
A great July evening, in my good ol' town
With the soothing cool breeze, I took in the scene
Driving on the streets, with the windows rolled down

A great evening then, to finally meet my muse
A gracious young lady, who had me spell bound
I wondered if perhaps, a fable, of the beauty and the recluse
At the end of the evening together, we'd have found

In a cozy cafè, by a neat table, in soft candle-light
Our small talk snow-balled into conversation
Mesmerised by her beauty, I beamed in delight
Her charm n wit, working up a potent intoxication

Trying my best but I guess, always caught
Lost in the magic, her smile seemed to weave
A touch of romance, that for me she'd brought
And left behind, so little sighs for her, my heart might heave

As the evening drew to night, I smiled to me
A great first date, if I'd dare call it so
An abrupt end, no goodbyes...but perhaps, serendipity
And maybe, many such evenings, for us might still lie in store!

The Magic of My Room!

2010-07-18T19:38:00.000+05:30

My room's a little magical, at midnight
When I'm up, even after I've turned off the light
Everything seems indistinct, that in darkness is draped
I see just contours, that in so many silhouettes seem shaped
As my little mind then drifts, it dreamily plays
Weaving details in the shapes, coloring the greys
I slip slowly, to where reality, my mind gaily forgets
Into a world, that's more than just hazy silhouettes
And soon enough, they're alive, walking past me
Hey, wasn't that you that I did just see
I turn and follow you, onto the other side
Wondering if today, I'll have you beside
And then, half-asleep, I smile, in dreamy delight
As I realise, my room is after all, 'my' magical place, just past midnight!

A new cuss word!

2010-07-11T15:18:00.000+05:30

How come 'hoarse'isn't a cuss word? I'm gonna start using it as one from now on'in sentences like
'Don't be a complete hoarse'
ór
'You hoarse! Who gave you a license?'
or
'Hoarse! Where have you been?'

(Don't get it? Break the word and you get ho-arse! Definitely a good cuss word dont you think???)

Understanding the revolutionary

2010-07-11T12:06:00.000+05:30

It was a lazy Sunday morning and with little of interest on the television, I tuned into Nat Geo and the documentary on Che Guevara.
Che has always fascinated me, not in terms of what he did or did not do but more in terms of the huge fan following he still seems to command. Whenever I see a guy in a Che print tee, I can't help but question his intelligence. Sure, he embodies a revolutionary that broke a lot of conventions but when you wear a tee, what are you trying to say, that you condone what he stood for? Which of course should mean that you understand his ideology and his stand against capitalism...so I assume you are gonna distance yourself from the great American dream. But wait, you are chasing it aren't you? And are wearing Converse, Nike and Levis...makes me wonder sometimes, are we dumb or simply hypocrites?

2010-07-09T23:12:00.000+05:30

Dont clip my wings yet
I'm still learning how to fly
There are still worlds to see
Some that I havent even imagined yet

Dont tie me down now
I'm still learning how to run
There are still pathways to tread
Some that I haven't even the stamina for right now

Dont shackle me so soon
I'm still trying to walk
There are still pastures to roam
Some that I haven't the skill for so soon

Dont put me behind bars at this time
I'm still just mastering my crawl
There are still surfaces to graze over
Some that I haven't the strength for at this time

Dont do what you think I should
I'll break the shackles and you know I would
Let me dream the way I do, out of my skin
Let me free my spirit, that lies dormant deep within...

(Not my best I know but then whilst ill, I think a li'l concession can be afforded huh?)

The Neighbourhood in Bombay...

2010-07-08T19:47:00.000+05:30

'If you're my neighbour, I wouldn't even bother to peek
Leave alone the possibility, that in a crowd, you, I'll seek!'

When I get caught up in the throes of Life...

2010-06-27T16:25:00.000+05:30

To be honest, this is sort of a crib post.
I haven't been enjoying myself at work too much lately. When I think of working, it's always with some bigger things in mind, with my eye on the target out in the distance...which sort of leads me to start losing focus on the little things right in front of me. Like the petty politics in the office. It's beyond me and I can't really cope much with it...to be honest, in the past week, I did seriously consider looking for options elsewhere but then, thankfully, along came the weekend.
I spent some time doing things I really like...took a long walk, spent an hour sitting down at the bridge gazing at the sunset behind the clouds and got my thoughts sorted out.
I now feel a little embarrassed at being overwhelmed by the burden of lesser mortals. I seemed to have forgotten why I was where I was...funny how I can settle into a cocoon and get very comfortable there too.
~Sigh~
But then, I took time late at night to remind myself I am not the one to be working all my life chasing money in a 9 to 5 job. I'm someone who is a little different, someone who derives more joy from the people around him than the material comforts surrounding him...and then it hit me hard...I've been taking so much time to chase money, I've started compromising on the time I give to the people I love...and I realised, I might be good at what I am doing but I am not at my best doing it...I am at my best doing this - closing my eyes, traveling to that world I call my own and then coming up with a rhyme at will...especially for her...

In your eyes,if you find,no beads of sleep,
Find my memories,embedded deep,
Heart,mind,body,soul and all that is me,
Are bound in your love and will keep you company,
On forlorn nights,if you think we're too far apart,
Listen to the wind,for I whisper 'We'll always be close, no matter how far...'

2010-06-17T10:22:00.000+05:30

With an illusion of what it should be like
I stare at her beauty and fantasize
But like my today that keeps devouring what I hope will be my tomorrow
And like everything that's passed by in this life, she too shall follow...
It's quite wonderful, what is right now
And yeah, my jaw gaping, I'm mouthing an 'Oh wow!'
But hey, like us, these moments too face the mortal curse
Imagine an eternity of bliss huh? Could anything be worse?
I sit here, love-sick, as I mull & I ponder
Romancing her as she floats far away on the yonder
And I love her so because she's gonna go
Then come back again, to shower me with the greatest little joys I know...
I cant even blame her for the way we are
It's me that seems to harbour more love when she moves afar
Having poured out all she can, soon she will float away, a little spent
But here I stand, happily disjointed from my 'morrow, as in all her glory, she rains in on my present!

(This one's titled 'Of a love for the Clouds'' but it'd be so much less fun if you knew it before right? But now that you know, you can re-read it! :P)

What Life Should be Like...

2010-06-13T14:21:00.001+05:30

This is what life should be like,
Sitting in my car, parked randomly by the wayside,
My feet up on the dash, the seat reclined,
My empty gaze, that seeks nought and nought does it find...

A beautiful day, gray weather and a cool breeze,
The landscape dotted with the redness of gulmohar trees,
A whole day that stretches out in front of me,
With nothing planned, it pans out just as lazily...

My favourite music playing, neither too soft nor too loud,
And when my song comes up, I start singing out aloud,
And with the singer, I've smiled a little needlessly, and a little needlessly I've cried,
A little heavy hearted, and a little dreamy eyed...

I step out of the car, into a light drizzle,
Standing in a puddle, where the raindrops splatter and fizzle,
I stretch myself out, staring at the sky, as I connect with all my joy and pain,
I empty my pockets, end this rhyme and head off, for a walk in the rain...

(True Story!)

Just for 'economic' laughs...irrational too maybe! You might not wanna read this...trust me!

2010-06-09T12:56:00.000+05:30

I have nothing to do at work...at least nothing significant...and this is what I've been thinking...
There was a time when you could only spend what you had saved...then came a time when you could only spend what you earned...and now is a time when we seem to be able to spend only what we might earn! Spend what we 'might' earn? And there are people willing to bet that we 'will' earn what we 'might!' I bet these people dont know the relationship between math and english...Will = 100% Probability and Might < 100% Probability...someone's gonna default right?

But then they tell me that they did consider that you 'might not' earn what you 'ought' and so provided for my default...but doesn't that mean that you have provided for all that I 'might' earn? In that case, you'd have to provide back-up for everything that everyone 'might' earn! So then, realistically speaking, you'd have to shore up reserves for everything that 'might' be earned in the future! Which means, in addition to providing for what I need 'now' so that I 'might' earn in the future, you also have to provide for what I 'might' earn...but you can't do that can you? That'd just mean you'd be giving me half of what I 'do' need. In that case, if you're providing for when I 'might not' earn what I 'ought' you're borrowing from the future me that 'might' be? So basically, I 'am' the insurance for when I 'might not' be what I 'ought' and so if I 'am not' what I 'ought to' we all 'will' be in a big mess anyways, huh?
Which means I 'am' having a laugh at my own expense? (Assuming I do exist in the future, failing which of course, I 'am' laughing at the future me's expense...) but considering I 'am' mortal, I'm pretty much screwing someone else's future, huh?

The First Drops...

2010-06-08T09:22:00.000+05:30

The skies hang heavy, the clouds ready to burst,
I look upwards in ready, waiting for the rains to quench my thirst,
But the greyness just teases, as the dark clouds come and go,
My brows furrowed along their creases, I wait for when rainwater, in its gushes, o'er these roads would flow,
I sit by my window, cool gusts of wind in my hair,
Staring at the potential show, that the monsoons threaten to lay bare,
And then the first drops fall, followed in earnest by the first rain,
Right then, for me, the world does stall, and I'm lost in the magic of the monsoons, all over again!

A Bombay Summer

2010-05-31T09:25:00.001+05:30

It's the fag end of May
And unbearably hot
And when living in Bombay
I'm gonna sweat, whether I want to or not...
For no matter where I go
I can't escape the heat
Air-conditioning is the Nirvana I know
But locked indoors, how long do you think myself I can keep?
And then once outdoors
At the humidity I hurl abuse
Important work or small chores
I'd avoid them all, if I could so choose!
But hey, I'm still smiling
And I'm happily bearing the discomfort at noon
For every cloud has a silver lining
And this one ends with the arrival of my beloved monsoon!

The "Why your dreams don't let you wake up" Theory

2010-05-26T11:27:00.000+05:30

If you wanna wake up early and you have set an alarm, like me, I'm sure a lot of you too have trouble rising with the alarm. I blame it on our dreams.
Inevitably, the mind does dream rather prolifically in the morning. So if you're in the middle of a good dream, you lounge around the bed a little longer hoping to see out the rest of it. On the contrary, if you're having a bad dream, you wanna lounge around longer because you figure, now that I'm awake, I might as well fix this dream up with a happy ending.
Sadly, on both counts, we end up losing to the time-bound realities of societal life...
~Sigh~
Whoever you are that wants me to wake up early in the morning, know this, I'm not late because I am tardy, I'm late early in the mornings because of the sub-conscious nature of my dreams!
And if you have no trouble waking up in the morning, that's just sad. Largely because it means you don't dream enough...and as a recent research report by some fancy western university suggests, the most intelligent people are the ones that dream the most!

(Of course, this also implies that I'm one of the most intelligent people on the planet since I seem to indulge in plenty of day-dreaming in addition to all the regular dreaming at night!)
:P

The Day Before Tomorrow...

2010-05-18T21:09:00.000+05:30

Sitting here after a very long time
I laugh at myself wondering how i got caught,
When'd i begin towing their line
And become a part of everything I'd fought,
Before they'd come, I would read every sign
And dodge the rat-race...or at least so I'd thought,
But here I am, my life no longer just mine
I've forgotten what it was, that once I'd sought,
A calm indifference within and with it, I seem just fine
Happy with the little compromise that on my hands I've got,
I watch the sun setting on what seems no more than a distant horizontal line
The ocean on the horizon that once to me signified such a lot,
But hey, I'm back on marine drive and with half a decent rhyme
And maybe not all hope is lost,
For who knows, to chase my dreams, there may still be a time
And may be, the day before tomorrow wouldn't be all for nought!

I know what came first, the chicken or the egg!

2010-05-17T14:35:00.000+05:30

It was the egg!

The explanation is simple...I can only cook eggs...so for my frame of reference, the egg came first...the chicken are yet to arrive!
:D

Judgemental Relativity

2010-05-13T12:52:00.001+05:30

This one draws inspiration from thoughts brought forth by Ria and her post.
It is also my attempt at putting to rhyme thoughts running in my previous post.

Deny it all you like
But you're just like me,
And as much as I hate admitting it
I end up in judgemental relativity...

I know you wanna believe
That there are no rights or wrongs
That like a cup o' coffee
The brew varies from light to strong...

But there are just two sides
And there lies nothing in between
In the greyness, I stubbornly justify
The darkness that I want unseen...

Yeah, I've made my mistakes
And try as I might, I'm gonna make some more
Even if I hate watching me falter
And I hate feeling bruised and sore...

But how could I have not fallen
If I chose to unsee the dark?
When I stopped asking awkward questions?
And didn't want answers for they were stark?

But enough of being human
My own weakness I must now fight
No more friggin lame excuses
I know what's wrong and I'm gonna go ahead and do what's right...

Judgemental...but relatively speaking!

2010-05-13T10:55:00.000+05:30

Here's the theorem:

"Whatever you do, is good or bad, in my books, only in reference to what I do..."

And deny it all you like, we all have the same tendency...and as much as I hate doing it, I do end up in a world of relativity. Is it right or wrong? Well, for the rest of the world, like they say, there are no rights or wrongs, just shades of grey that seem darker to some and brighter to others.
But to me, everything is either right or wrong. And there is nothing in between. But sometimes, I lead myself to believe there is greyness to justify the dark. And I have made my mistakes. And I still continue making my mistakes. And it is irritating to find myself faltering sometimes. But don't get me wrong. I love falling down. And I enjoy mustering up the strength it takes to rise back up again.

And it happens when I stop asking myself those awkward questions and I ignore those unwanted answers.

Like right now...and it helps me realise I'm human.

Boring Day - The spoof on Lonely Day, System of a Down

2010-05-11T12:13:00.000+05:30

I'm at work, incredibly bored and SOAD is playing in my head...to kill time, I just replaced lonely with boring...not very creative I agree but quite effective as you might find out!

Such a boring day
And it's mine
The most boring day in my life

Such a boring day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most boring day of my life
The most boring day of my life

Such a boring day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a boring day
And it's mine
The most boring day of my life

And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you quit,
I wanna quit with you
Throw this job and walk away

The most boring day of my life
The most boring day of my life
The most boring day of my life

Such a boring day
And it's mine
It's a day that I am glad I survived.

For Pepeo!

2010-05-10T12:02:00.001+05:30

I'm walking down a path
That though I've chosen
Is nothing more than mundane
For everything along lies frozen,
No flowers to line the way
Nor leaves making merry on the trees
I've stopped wishing on the winds
For there's a chill even on the breeze,
But life's funny sometimes
And finds ways to leave you surprised
In the chill of all the frost
In my path, suddenly flitters that butterfly!
On wings bellowed on hopes
She leaves me staring in her wake
With the warmth of her dreamy flight
She brings alive, the long-frozen lake,
As she floats over the ripples
I follow her and wet my toes
Mesmerized by her beauty and grace
I stand afar and watch her real close...
Then as suddenly as she'd come
She's gone and I sigh,
And once again, I am left longing
For whence I'd see, that flittering-fluttering butterfly!

Vague Words on My Pillow...

2010-05-06T12:57:00.000+05:30

As I drift off, I'm wondering of you
And what your dreams would be like tonight
What kinda world would your mind brew
Or would it be your heart that'll take flight?
I'm hoping though that you'll dream of me
Just a little, if not too much
That I may infatuate you, or maybe
Even be the object of your love!
So I wish I had something intelligent to say
Like a Wordsworth poem written under a willow
To leave you dreaming of me...but hey
All I have are these vague words conjured on my pillow...

Wooing a girl...

2010-04-30T11:48:00.000+05:30

(Some poems that were written to woo someone special...what happened? Well, still waiting to find out!)

What might I say, to let you know why I'm scared,
To take a bold step to you, why I haven't dared,
Why I sit here, wondering about you,
Would we ever be more than just strangers we once knew,
I sit far away but wonder what might be,
If I dared to take a chance and set my heart free,
Of you my mind dreams and feels a little rush,
Wondering what you'd do, if you knew of my little crush...

It feels so good to wake up in the morn,
When you've had sweet dreams, all night long,
The eager infatuation, of a little boys crush,
Blended with desires of a young man's lust,
And the dreams linger on though its past mid-day,
From the boring confines of work, they carry me far away,
I play with the hope that maybe they'd come true,
And happily I carry on, dreaming of you!

In these last waking moments, just before I fall asleep,
I'm drowned in your thoughts, that over me, slowly do creep,
As my thoughts slowly transform and become your dreams,
I'm smitten by you and my happy heart beams,
I tuck myself in, turn off the lights,
And submit gladly to your dreams, for I know, its gonna be a wonderful night!

Sitting in an office and I'm supposed to be at work,
But my mind ain't quite in it, all their tasks it shirks,
And I feel like such a silly old fool,
I've hardly known you and yet, over you I drool,
Worse, I find myself confessing my thoughts,
For I love this feeling and all the joy you've brought,
Dreaming and fantasizing, with your thoughts I play,
And I really mean it when I tell you, you make my day!

Another of my attempts in Hindi...

2010-04-22T11:45:00.001+05:30

Ke tumse kya hum bolen,
Kyon hum kehte hue darte hain,
Ke in nainon ko kaise hum joden,
Jo ye ishq hum chupke karte hain...

Kya alfaaz bayan karen,
Ke haal-e-dil hum hi na jaanen,
Kaise ye tumse hum keh dein,
Jo doori mein bhi yeh dil bas aap hi ke khwaab hai paale...

2010-04-20T12:25:00.000+05:30

I'm lost in your love, your lust and all that is you,
You've painted my world in such a wonderful hue,
But you've loved me so that I hate being apart,
These miles that separate, tear away at my heart,
Alone at home, lost in your dream,
I picture your prettiness that with radiance does gleam,
And all the miles that separate, disappear when I'm dreaming of your pretty face,
Only trouble is, gee-whiz, I'm dreaming away all my days!

The Creek...

2010-04-19T11:13:00.000+05:30

Everyday, when the train passes over this creek,
I look in awe, at where the river and the ocean meet,
I always wonder if the river knows where it ends,
Or If the ocean knows where it's infinity begins to transcend...

I look at the marshes and I look at the mangroves,
Wondering why the groves stand in the marsh despite all the throes,
Is it for the white cranes that nest in the trees,
Or their little chicks hiding and playing in the leaves?

I sit alone on the bridge today and watch the river flow,
Out into the distance, into the sunset's glow,
Its a wonderful sight that brings it's audience to a smile,
As he sits here in solitude, on a Sunday with plenty of time to while...

This one ideally should've come with the pic of the creek but somehow, I forgot to click one yesterday whilst sitting there...ironic, considering how much I love my new phone and it's awesome camera! Such is life...or is that me???

A little nostalgia @work!

2010-04-16T12:02:00.000+05:30

It's 10.30 in the morn & I'm just a little nostalgic,
Was it the coffee or your dream that did the trick?
I stare blankly at my screen as some old memories run through my head,
I can still picture us in the quad, eating sugar sprinkled toasted bread...

T'is an early morning lecture, and obviously we're running late,
I'm lost in some thoughts, playing with the food in my plate,
I look up, see you walk in, your swagger holding my gaze,
You flash your smile at me, and i know it's gonna be a wonderful day...

We sit, we talk and we know neither wants to go to class,
And we know we're goin to a movie as soon as we're through with the
coffees in our glass...
And then the phone buzzes bringing me back to where I dont wanna be,
And i'm wishing so much you were here, there's this movie that with
you I really wanna see!

Much to Write...so little time!

2010-04-09T11:41:00.000+05:30

The writer's block has gone...there's so much to write! I just dont have the time!
Damn it...well, I hope the fact thatI have the qwerty phone now, means I shall be able to at least try and post something here more often! Or at least, that is the hope!

And I'm in love...and completely SEXX2ed up!

2010-04-08T16:44:00.001+05:30

I've had my eyes on this pretty thing for about 3-odd months...but I knew she was out of my league by quite a bit so I buried all my passion and resorted to simply gawking at her from a distance...then I had a windfall...and I finally went ahead an indulged in her...and man I gotta tell you, she's awesome! Everything I ever dreamed of! Can't keep my hands off her at all! I'm fidgeting with her all the time, discovering something new every time I have her in my hands...ooohhh...I wonder, is this what they call lust?

( http://www.sonyericsson.com/cws/products/mobilephones/overview/xperiax2?cc=gb&lc=en )

:P

2010-04-06T15:50:00.000+05:30

This one had a lotta potential to be legendary but I wasn't quite in the mood to write something awesome...but here it is, essentially a manifestation of my mood and my emotions...

Life's changed quite a bit,
I've learnt how to face adversity with grit,
I've learnt what it's like to take long walks in leather shoes,
Learnt to love lonely walks instead of wishing I walked in twos,
But most of all, I've learnt that meeting you doesn't quite mean the same to me,
You've changed quite a bit too and I don't love you anymore, just your memory...

2010-04-03T16:04:00.000+05:30

Many before did try, many before did fail,
To walk the untread path, before taking the beaten trail,
My first taste of their moolah and I think I did enjoy,
I think I'm gonna falter, I think I wanna believe their lie!!!
(Payday... *first* payday!!!)

Love me now...

2010-04-02T00:02:00.000+05:30

Love me now, even if it's only a lie,
I'd find solace, that at least you did try,
So when I think of you, at least I won't cry,
Perhaps, may be, heave, just a little sigh...

Love me now, even if it's Just hollow,
I'd find comfort, that at least for a while, me you did follow,
So when I dream of you, my dreams wouldn't be so shallow,
Perhaps, may be, the lumps in my throat, I'd swallow...

Love me now, if even for a day,
I'd find my peace, that at least briefly, you came my way,
So sleepless, in your wake, when in my bed i lay,
Perhaps, may be, I'd find the three words, I need to hear, I need to say...

Poems I need to Finish...

2010-03-27T19:47:00.000+05:30

I am stuck in a writer's block!
There are a bunch of ideas for poems running through my head but I just can't seem to write anything...I'm trying to get myself out of this sticky spot and here is another attempt. These are ideas and titles that I have in my head and I'm hoping that by putting them up here, I can somehow get out of this block -

1. The day before tomorrow (Things I wanna accomplish in the future but am stuck instead, trying to fight the present!)

2. The Creek (Stuff I'm thinking of everyday when I look at the cusp where the river meets the ocean at Vashi Creek...)[

3. Oh Fuck! (This one's inspired from Osho's discourse and I kinda wanna put that idea in rhyme...would make for an awesome song too!)

And some others that aren't concrete yet...crap...work life sucks!

Mulling Over My Thoughts

Sometimes, when you've been breathless for far too longAnd the shackles break away momentarilyYou end up holding your breath and before you know it, the moments already goneAnd you realise, that somewhere along the way, you've forgotten what its like to breathe!

Bikram Wisodm

Kuch beeta hua...

There comes a time...

If you love your job...

A Letter from the Butterfly

Bikram Wisodm

When is a guy ready for marriage? When he loses all desire to put up a fight because he understands the irrelevance of being right!

Maybe its Just Lust

Time to Part...

Pragmatic

Bikram's Equation of Success

The Beauty and The Beast Theory

The Book...Just Waiting to be Written

Drunk Again

Older than I wanna be

This Girl I Know

My First Cheque!

Driftwood

I Ain't Lettin Go...

Fallen Leaves from the Butterfly's Gardens...

Pepeo

The Voices In My Head

Sleepless

A Very Interesting Weekend

My Favourite Lines By Me

Help?

For Lehar

Bikram Wisodm

Wisdom

Midnight Drive

Life at 23 With This Girl I Know

Wishing You a Happy New Year!

Staring at a frayed silhouette...

Slipping Through My Fingers...

So in Other News

Keep Faith

Conversation with the Butterfly

Bikram Wisodm

Let Bygones be Bygones...

Life Moves On...

Kanjur Waiting

In Love, All Over Again!

Murphy's Law

Pepeo - The Butterfly

Why?

I Love My Illusions

The Independence of Moments and Eternity Theorem

Looking at life through retrospective lensesI wanna play with time, go back and mend some fencesBut foresight then lights up the past in all it's irrelevancesAnd here I lie in the present, at the edge of reason and the end of my senses...

Time

I Dare 2 Compete

Dreaming of Dreams Long Lost

Feeling a Little Conventionally Cheesy

Scars...

When I'm at Work...

I am responsible...

Bikram's Twisted Dictionary

Coffee @ Darios

The Magic of My Room!

A new cuss word!

Understanding the revolutionary

The Neighbourhood in Bombay...

When I get caught up in the throes of Life...

What Life Should be Like...

Just for 'economic' laughs...irrational too maybe! You might not wanna read this...trust me!

The First Drops...

A Bombay Summer

The "Why your dreams don't let you wake up" Theory

The Day Before Tomorrow...

I know what came first, the chicken or the egg!

Judgemental Relativity

Judgemental...but relatively speaking!

Boring Day - The spoof on Lonely Day, System of a Down

For Pepeo!

Vague Words on My Pillow...

Wooing a girl...

Another of my attempts in Hindi...

The Creek...

A little nostalgia @work!

Sometimes, when you've been breathless for far too long
And the shackles break away momentarily
You end up holding your breath and before you know it, the moments already gone
And you realise, that somewhere along the way, you've forgotten what its like to breathe!

Looking at life through retrospective lenses
I wanna play with time, go back and mend some fences
But foresight then lights up the past in all it's irrelevances
And here I lie in the present, at the edge of reason and the end of my senses...