An IB's FINANCIAL Dilemma!

These BONDS have me pinned down,
These OPTIONS leave me with nothing but a frown,
The FUTURES now seemingly bleak,
A SWAP outta here, my heart does seek,
These TREES and HEDGES haven't a hue of green,
All GREEK to me does this seem,
No more SECURITY in this can I see,
I give up and stand to DEFAULT, someone please BAIL me!