Yearning

Oh how this heart yearns for a walk on the beach again
Deep in the reaches of the night, with a light splattering of rain
With no plans to look forward to or a rush to get anywhere
Just the soft tunes of crashing waves and the gentle breeze running through my hair
The feel of the wet sand playing incessantly with my sole
In the depth of the shallows, where my incomplete ideas become whole
To sift through those dreams that in a busy life remain out of reach
Oh how this heart yearns again, for a walk on the beach...

I have my pen in hand but it doesn't feel familiar anymore
Leave alone feel like I've put words together to serenade you with, so long before
Thoughts running nineteen to the dozen, those were my glory days
Unfettered by materialistic thoughts, unmoved by worldly ways
I pick the pen again today, to reminisce those times gone by
Or perhaps to let myself know that I still reside with me, that maybe he could still be found if I really try
But words are difficult to find today, they aren't flowing effortlessly
I'm fumbling through the cobwebs in my mind, waddling listlessly
Perhaps I ought to put the pen down now, let the memories of those days go
Or maybe just get back to writing loads again, I'm not really sure, I don't really know....

Responsibilities that outnumber every wish
An unequal life is this...

Sometimes, I leave myself perplexed
I know what I should do but what I do instead leaves me vexed
Its as if I haven't had enough of all the times my honest intentions go astray
And I have to put my foot in my mouth, just when things are going my way

Kuch beeta hua...

Peeche khada ek kal

Tang karta hai pal pal,

Par chand yaadein aur chand pal

Na cheen payenge mera aane wala kal...

There comes a time...

There comes a time when life doesn't flow
And seems to have slowed down to a trickle
When your days pass by without a memorable moment
And you can but reminisce the days when you were fickle

There comes a time when life has no answers
And questions don't cross your mind anymore
When your thoughts pass by without any significance
And you give up to relishing in memories of the days of yore

There comes a time when life holds no surprises
And realisation dawns on what already has been
When your wants peter down to what you can have
And your reality is more important than your dreams

And your past weighs down what should've been your present
When you're too bogged down by all your strife
And you don't even want to fight to have it all back
There comes a time when life stops being life...

Sleepless

No weariness in these eyes yet
Though the clock says its almost dawn
A formidable foe I seem to have met
For these lips let pass not even a stray yawn

Have spent hours sleepless in bed
Thoughts running within in scores
Wish I could show you what runs in my head
Maybe you could help me soothe some sores
 
I've tried to blank my mind to sleep
But tonight theres too much noise inside
Too many doubts rooted far too deep
From them theres no place left to hide
 
No one to sing me a lullaby
Nor to cozily cuddle to
Tossing and turning all night I lie
And my misery I share with you...

Run as far as you like, you still will be found
Run as fast as you like, you're still losing ground
Ignore it as long as you want, you still will come face to face
Ignore it as much as you want, it's still the truth of our days
Illusions you may conjure but the comfort ain't gonna last
You just don't know it yet but death's right around the corner and it's coming fast....

Murphy's Law

Old man Murphy and his silly infallible law
Ruined perfect situations by prophecizing their flaw
Just when things are perfect and we begin to look up
Stupid little hurdles leave us all shook up
Wise-crack Mr. Murphy, takes no time to pass a wicked smile
It's like he's snickering to say 'I told you so all the while!'
And he reminds your bruised ego, that pricks a little still
'Everything that can go wrong, eventually will'
I bet like me, you too then curse him raw
Damn old man Murphy and his silly infallible law!

I Love My Illusions

I love my illusions
With them my life just eases
I refuse to give 'em up
They smoothen out all the creases
I sit and dream fondly
Of things that never were
I dont care if they come to fruition
Or forever, just remain a blur
I play with the same scenes
Each time conjuring different versions
My life my love my dreams
I love my illusions...

Love maybe beautiful but it's over-rated
The best affairs are always the ones that are ill-fated
While it lasts, you walk with a deluded smile, feeling elated
And forget, with perilous consequences, everything in life, is post-dated

Then fate strikes, to overturn your apple cart

The ones you thought you'd grow old with, pack their bags and depart
In their wake, you learn to grow up, stronger in the pain of being apart
And all you're left with, are bygone memories to cherish and the task of nursing your broken heart

Looking at life through retrospective lenses
I wanna play with time, go back and mend some fences
But foresight then lights up the past in all it's irrelevances
And here I lie in the present, at the edge of reason and the end of my senses...

Time

Time is a bit too relative, to make any sense
Past, present and future, always in a state, we appropriately call tense

And it's not a smooth fabric, woven in harmonic peace

It's a crude patch-work, strung together piece by piece

We stumble, we fumble and grope our way, seemingly forward

An illusionary direction, to counter the nothingness of life, to comfort ourselves we've conjured

And we try to capture in stillness, frame by frame, that which we fail to fathom

In our eternal quest, to rationalize it all, for we fail to understand the serenity of the random

We live on, trying to best it all, but no matter how great our legend or how good our lore

It'll all be rendered feeble soon, for in time's world of relativity, everything lasts only a moment and no more...

Dreaming of Dreams Long Lost

i sit by myself
dreaming of dreams long lost
to be where we are
so many sacrifices were cost
now things have happened
and our lives have changed
and we’ve learnt to look upon life
like nothings strange
gone are the days
when as boys we'd dreamed
and with unbridled joy
at little rocks we'd laughed and screamed
now we feel grown up
with responsibilities galore
our ships have set sail
for some distant shore
i look on the seas
for i know there they too are
like me they ride the waves
but i see no one nor near nor far
and the journey seems lonely
though we're all in it together
caught up in our lives
tied down by our own tethers
and some day at our deathbeds
we'll look back on our lives
see what we've achieved
for all that we now strive
to be where we will
so many sacrifices would have cost
yet, we'll lie by ourselves
dreaming of dreams long lost

Far across the distance
Not measured in miles or time
I sit rejoicing in memories
From this inglorious life of mine
The dreams have long been vanquished
And eternal hope lies lost
The past holds all promise
My future bears it's cost
To make sense of what is not
Illusions I conjure
Yet despite my brave attempts
I know nothing for sure
Far away in fires
All aspiration will burn
I stoke them to simmer longer
In their ashes lie lessons I learn
Darkness holds no false promises
I look forward to the night
There wont be any disappointments
And I find peace at twilight
It really doesn't matter
All my joy and strife
The fool that I am
I think I live life

Coffee @ Darios

Slightly overcast, the weather serene
A great July evening, in my good ol' town
With the soothing cool breeze, I took in the scene
Driving on the streets, with the windows rolled down

A great evening then, to finally meet my muse
A gracious young lady, who had me spell bound
I wondered if perhaps, a fable, of the beauty and the recluse
At the end of the evening together, we'd have found

In a cozy cafè, by a neat table, in soft candle-light
Our small talk snow-balled into conversation
Mesmerised by her beauty, I beamed in delight
Her charm n wit, working up a potent intoxication

Trying my best but I guess, always caught
Lost in the magic, her smile seemed to weave
A touch of romance, that for me she'd brought
And left behind, so little sighs for her, my heart might heave

As the evening drew to night, I smiled to me
A great first date, if I'd dare call it so
An abrupt end, no goodbyes...but perhaps, serendipity
And maybe, many such evenings, for us might still lie in store!

The Magic of My Room!

My room's a little magical, at midnight
When I'm up, even after I've turned off the light
Everything seems indistinct, that in darkness is draped
I see just contours, that in so many silhouettes seem shaped
As my little mind then drifts, it dreamily plays
Weaving details in the shapes, coloring the greys
I slip slowly, to where reality, my mind gaily forgets
Into a world, that's more than just hazy silhouettes
And soon enough, they're alive, walking past me
Hey, wasn't that you that I did just see
I turn and follow you, onto the other side
Wondering if today, I'll have you beside
And then, half-asleep, I smile, in dreamy delight
As I realise, my room is after all, 'my' magical place, just past midnight!

Dont clip my wings yet
I'm still learning how to fly
There are still worlds to see
Some that I havent even imagined yet

Dont tie me down now
I'm still learning how to run
There are still pathways to tread
Some that I haven't even the stamina for right now

Dont shackle me so soon
I'm still trying to walk
There are still pastures to roam
Some that I haven't the skill for so soon

Dont put me behind bars at this time
I'm still just mastering my crawl
There are still surfaces to graze over
Some that I haven't the strength for at this time

Dont do what you think I should
I'll break the shackles and you know I would
Let me dream the way I do, out of my skin
Let me free my spirit, that lies dormant deep within...


(Not my best I know but then whilst ill, I think a li'l concession can be afforded huh?)

When I get caught up in the throes of Life...

To be honest, this is sort of a crib post.
I haven't been enjoying myself at work too much lately. When I think of working, it's always with some bigger things in mind, with my eye on the target out in the distance...which sort of leads me to start losing focus on the little things right in front of me. Like the petty politics in the office. It's beyond me and I can't really cope much with it...to be honest, in the past week, I did seriously consider looking for options elsewhere but then, thankfully, along came the weekend.
I spent some time doing things I really like...took a long walk, spent an hour sitting down at the bridge gazing at the sunset behind the clouds and got my thoughts sorted out.
I now feel a little embarrassed at being overwhelmed by the burden of lesser mortals. I seemed to have forgotten why I was where I was...funny how I can settle into a cocoon and get very comfortable there too.
~Sigh~
But then, I took time late at night to remind myself I am not the one to be working all my life chasing money in a 9 to 5 job. I'm someone who is a little different, someone who derives more joy from the people around him than the material comforts surrounding him...and then it hit me hard...I've been taking so much time to chase money, I've started compromising on the time I give to the people I love...and I realised, I might be good at what I am doing but I am not at my best doing it...I am at my best doing this - closing my eyes, traveling to that world I call my own and then coming up with a rhyme at will...especially for her...

In your eyes,if you find,no beads of sleep,
Find my memories,embedded deep,
Heart,mind,body,soul and all that is me,
Are bound in your love and will keep you company,
On forlorn nights,if you think we're too far apart,
Listen to the wind,for I whisper 'We'll always be close, no matter how far...'

With an illusion of what it should be like
I stare at her beauty and fantasize
But like my today that keeps devouring what I hope will be my tomorrow
And like everything that's passed by in this life, she too shall follow...
It's quite wonderful, what is right now
And yeah, my jaw gaping, I'm mouthing an 'Oh wow!'
But hey, like us, these moments too face the mortal curse
Imagine an eternity of bliss huh? Could anything be worse?
I sit here, love-sick, as I mull & I ponder
Romancing her as she floats far away on the yonder
And I love her so because she's gonna go
Then come back again, to shower me with the greatest little joys I know...
I cant even blame her for the way we are
It's me that seems to harbour more love when she moves afar
Having poured out all she can, soon she will float away, a little spent
But here I stand, happily disjointed from my 'morrow, as in all her glory, she rains in on my present!


(This one's titled 'Of a love for the Clouds'' but it'd be so much less fun if you knew it before right? But now that you know, you can re-read it! :P)