Maybe we're here by meticulous design

They had a crisis at hand, no doubt about it. A matter of life and death...or perhaps, at the end of a quest having figured out everything about life and death. Millennia of evolution had finally led to this point where they now knew how and why the cycle of life existed,  the point where every question that could be asked, had finally been answered. It'd been a day that had been looked forward to for as long as could be remembered and unanimously agreed upon to be looked at as the pinnacle of evolution, the crowning glory for all forms of existence.
Yet, there is always somebody with a counterview no matter how good the situation is, so why should this occassion have been any different? The lone mad-man who believed this day to be the bane for all existence. Who saw the realisation of ultimate knowledge as the end of all life, for if all questions had been answered, what would be the point of life carrying on any further? All life that did exist with the ultimate knowledge at hand, would live on dissatisfied and disillusioned. The point where wisdom itself, would undo all it had helped achieve thus far.
And his fears had been realised. There was a sudden and utter feeling of pointlessness. A calm that extended so deep, that all desire to continue with life had been lost. The world lay itself to decay in the absence of a dissatisfaction that drove life in pursuit of satisfaction.
But the doubter had been prepared. Before all questions could have been answered, he designed a world that would never figure out the ultimate truth. A world where the living were always dis-satisfied and eager to seek answers but all they'd discover were more questions. And he built that world far away from other prying eyes. As one world lay to decay upon it's own greatness, far away in great secrecy, the non-believer gave life a chance to continue, in one form or the other...
And even today, life flows in a continual circle and the living are eternally locked in the quest to find the ultimate truth...but to His greatest success, none can be found.

The Independence of Moments and Eternity Theorem

What is the past? Nothing more than the moment you just spent thinking about it.
What is the future? An eternity that lies somewhere in the distance from where you are right now.

So here's the deal. How can a moment be held responsible for the fate of an eternity? Not logical is it?
So life must roll on in anticipation of the eternity to come rather than in remorse or regret or even over-zealous celebration of a moment that has long passed by, right?

And there you have it, 'The Independence of Moments and Eternity Theorem!'

Funnily enough, by virtue of it's own argument, for this theorem to be validated, it should be lost in a moment too!

Judgemental...but relatively speaking!

Here's the theorem:

"Whatever you do, is good or bad, in my books, only in reference to what I do..."

And deny it all you like, we all have the same tendency...and as much as I hate doing it, I do end up in a world of relativity. Is it right or wrong? Well, for the rest of the world, like they say, there are no rights or wrongs, just shades of grey that seem darker to some and brighter to others.
But to me, everything is either right or wrong. And there is nothing in between. But sometimes, I lead myself to believe there is greyness to justify the dark. And I have made my mistakes. And I still continue making my mistakes. And it is irritating to find myself faltering sometimes. But don't get me wrong. I love falling down. And I enjoy mustering up the strength it takes to rise back up again.

And it happens when I stop asking myself those awkward questions and I ignore those unwanted answers.

Like right now...and it helps me realise I'm human.

What am I chasing???

When things aren't going your way and you have plenty of time on your hands, you tend to think a lot. More often than not, the discussion eventually leads you to questioning the fundamentals of life.
It began as a search for happiness. And I realised, life is not about the pursuit of happiness...happiness is wherever you want it to be so the journey of life cannot be to that 'happy' destination, if it were, it'd be a pointless never-ending journey for most...and a stagnant point for some.
So perhaps it's a journey to seek something else. Inner peace perhaps? But then inner peace, like happiness, can be found exactly where you want it to be found. That can't be right...
A quest to understand the relevance of our existence? That can't be right though...I am already at the center of the universe...our existence, is relevant in our present state of existence, only as long as I am aware of it. The moment I die, it'll all be irrelevant.
A quest to understand and seek God then? But that's the equivalent of understanding the origin of the universe...and in either case, God, is a very strong concept that we humans seem to fear more than respect. We seem to equate all that we do not understand to he powers of God and then refuse to further our understanding from that point on. If life is a journey to understand God, then we're all drifting in the wrong direction aren't we? That can't be right either...
Hmmm...so is life a journey at all? Aren't journeys supposed to lead to a destination? Death can't be a destination can it?
So what is life all about?

Defensive Offensive...

When we make mistakes, our default reaction is to deny it and distance ourselves from the mistake we've made. We seem to take a very defensive position and do everything in our power to deny it and argue as long as we can to safeguard against being held accountable!
Why so? It's much easier to accept and move on trying to find a solution instead of aggressively denying everything...and of course much more efficient. We don't see it that ways though, I wonder why.
I ain't a saint either and have been guilty of the same on several occasions. It isn't disturbing to find out that I have been guilty of it, it's disturbing to realise, it took me so long to understand I shouldn't be doing it!

Unemployed thoughts...

Being unemployed has it’s advantages…it’s a Wednesday afternoon after all! Heck, if I may be bold enough, (and you know I am!) I have yet to come across any disadvantages, ummm, except perhaps the fact that you’re perennially broke but if you have friends that are willing to pay for your coffees and parents who are willing to support you, (if only for the time being!) life’s pretty much as good as it gets…ok, so you need to learn to swallow a little bit of your foolish pride (of which I seem to have none, which only makes the task a lot simpler!) On a philosophical note though, you should never be afraid of asking yourself awkward questions and should always be prepared for unwanted answers…life is a lot sweeter when you can live with the bitter truth. Hence, you will notice, I do not say ‘I’m in between jobs.’ I’m always, ‘unemployed!’ Once past this hurdle, you’re all set to have a gala time!

For starters, no one but you have whole and sole control of your two prized possessions, your mind and your time. You can actually choose to spend them for and with whoever and whatever you choose! With all the time in the world on your hand and your mind completely unoccupied by the worries plaguing the rest of humanity, you can explore the philosophical realm at length and on your own terms! Please do not learn philosophy from books, what the wise men have passed on to us through their written words notwithstanding. Explore yourself and you shall be enlightened! Think about it, no one ever attained enlightenment from a book, the enlightened ones have been the folks who have chosen to seek the answers to their questions within themselves and found God dwelling within them! Why then should we be subject to what others think? Why be subject to what someone else has thought or does think? We’re intelligent beings capable of independent thoughts aren’t we? So why read what others have gathered, from still others??? (Or at least that was my line of reasoning for not studying back in college…hasn’t been appreciated by the rest of the human race though…I’m still outta work!)

This is an extract from something else I'd written...

P.S. Oh...and I've been asked to give a heads-up in case there is more than one post in a day...so here it is, there has also been another entry today that you might wanna check out...

GOD

I think I am very stubborn (and I know you will agree with me!) I refuse to accept things when they are first told and have to disprove myself to believe in them wholly. Fortunately, this also means, that the few times when I cannot disprove myself, I stumble across some very good things.

This relates between me and God...me and my faith.

When you have a lotta time on your hands and are unemployed, you are forced to think about God. Everyone I meet, tells me to keep the faith, that there is a bigger plan for me...That God works in silent ways and eventually it boils down to advice that says I should go to a certain temple and pay my respects there...and that got me thinking.

My search for God or any trace of Him (I will not say Her...it doesn't friggin matter. It's a way you refer to God, grammatically. Nothing sexist about it. I know it rubs the wrong way with the women but deal with it.) My search, has always been circled in the search of a lack of reason to believe in the existence of God. I'd like to make it clear that I am a firm believer in His existence but to me, God must be infallible, omni-present, unbiased, untouched, unseen, unheard.  I do not agree with the philosophy of worshiping a single deity. Over a period of time, I think I have come to believe, we humans look up to immortal deeds and actions of mere mortals. Over time, their works are glorified and revered to the extent of being worshiped! History seems to smudge any distinction between fact and fiction over a period of time. I do sincerely feel, worship is an over-exemplified glorification of humans no different from you and me. The definition of God, to the best of this human's understanding, is unbiased, infallible, omni-present, unheard, unspoken, unseen, untouched and yet acknowledged, revered and maybe even feared...to me, the only known entity that fits the definition is TIME. No one though, seems to worship time. 

Then again, maybe it's just a form of tangent thought that I wanna play with since no one else seems to share it!

In search of time...

Have you ever wondered what is the first concept we come to grips with in life? TIME. Before we understand anything else, we recognise the existance of time. Infalliable, ever existant, ever changing, time. It is the most profound and the most baffling of life's components that intertwines itself into everything. Science or philosophy, everything is governed by time. If God is omnipresent, unseen, untouched, unheard, unspoken, unfelt, yet, acknowledged, feared and revered, i wonder, is God Time?

Married to Unhappiness

Yeah I am sure there are a lotta people who're thinking 'That's obvious! He always has been!' but I am not talking about myself. I am talking about everyone at large here!

We humans value pain more than we value comfort. When your days come to an end and when you're reminiscing about the life gone by, your most treasured memories will be from a time when everything was wrong. From all those times, you'll have learnt your lessons in life...from the times that you were happy, you'll have learnt nothing.

I wanted to write a poem on the plethora of emotions that I as a person go through so I tried listing down these emotions. On one side were the positive emotions and on the other were the negative emotions. I started with the negative emotions first. I had penned down 6 in 6 seconds...then I proceeded to the positive emotions...it took me 6 minutes to get past 4!

Maybe some people would find it easier to pen down the positive emotions...I hope there are those. But as far as I can tell, most will have the same trouble as me. We humans are married to the pain...makes us feel alive...

The Hunger for War…the War against Terrorism

I guess things have simmered down to a large extent for this post to make sense or maybe things have finally begun to take concrete shape by now to warrant this line of thought…

I suppose everyone is aware of the terrorist attacks and more so the hue and cry that the common man has or rather more aptly ‘had’ raised. The one birdie that couldn’t get away and gave a bunch of evidence for us Indians that the attack was orchestrated by our neighbors Pakistan’s guests. Yet, against them the gracious hosts refuse to accept any condemning evidence being provided by India and now, even from their long time allies, the US.

Now that the background is in place (not that it needed to be laid in the first place but…) the part that really troubles me. In all the circles that I know and am a part of, the common Indian man almost everywhere seems to be in support of the idea of waging a war. The act perpetrated by the fanatics that chose to slaughter soft targets was in the easiest of terms, cowardly, nonetheless, war against our neighbors with the intention of prevention of such acts in the future would not only be unwise but would also mean that the perpetrators have gotten to us. The act of war is the final step in cynicism for humanity, the final attempt of humans who feel threatened and need to force their authority on others. As Indians, the acts of terrorism against us, are a mere manifestation of how threatened these extremists feel with the show of solidarity within the country, the much celebrated ‘Unity in Diversity.’ These acts of terror are mere flashes in the pan that fail to threaten us in any way, unless of course we choose to take cognizance of their actions. What does a war mean? Does it mean we are threatened by these acts of terror against us? Do we think that a war against them is the way we are strengthening our beliefs or is it to soothe our egos?

What ends would a war meet? Zilch…because all the war will do is aggrieve the other party. In a bid to eradicate the fanatics, we would also perhaps slay some of the innocent. Tactically it would mean that they would find more reason to perpetrate more lies and subvert more minds. Would be a downright disaster. Moreover, the lives lost in such terror attacks are but a few as compared to the number of lives that would be lost should there be a full-scale war. Even after the war, effective control of the captured territories would be rather difficult as even the US has found out after numerous misadventures be it Nam, Iraq or Afghanistan and Russia in Bosnia, Georgia et al. For us, having conflict areas within the borders is a lot worse than having them outside.

In the same breath, I do not mean that there should be no action against these terror attacks. I just believe there should be a slightly different approach to tackling this menace, the way we are going about it. It isn’t outside our borders that we need be wary, if we are strong within, we would be twice as secure. A lot being said about something concrete being needed to be done…not much in terms of what could actually be done…
on the one hand, we could take strict measures in terms of security and ensure draconian checks and a military discipline in the nation ensuring no more terrorist attacks. This would come at a price, like being subject to frisking wherever we go, from cinema theatres to shopping malls; and the added cost of the freedom we currently enjoy being curbed. Should this actually be done, life as we know it would cease to be. We’d no longer feel secure the way we do now…and dont tell me you feel insecure for a few terrorist attacks…if you do, you let these terrorists win.

We have now started viewing our fellow passengers with a suspicious eye and viewomg every bag of luggage with a hint of fear. The fact that we have reached such a stage is in itself a little sad but between the two evils, I reckon this is the lesser. The best act of defiance would be to continue life as usual as if nothing ever happened but I reckon no society could be as strong or rather as detached to it’s members, to be unaffected by their loss.

Every civilisation has always had the inevitable tendency to collapse upon itself when violent forces become dominant over the peaceful ones. I am sure even you realise we cannot substantially safeguard ourselves against these extremists, whether home-bred or alien…for to do so, we must become extremists ourselves. Are we really at a point where we must? Anyways, this discussion leads to this (and I really wanna wind up, feelin darned sleepy):

Bikram Wisodm: War is the final act of cynicism that us mortals resort to, to impose our views onto others…so cynical is it, that eventually, religion springs anew in a bid to show us the path to peace…ironic is it not then, that religion seems to be the grounds for war at this time???

Bikram Wisodm

1. Of all the strangers I have known, I am the strangest!

2. The most intelligent people are those who make us feel intelligent!

BIKRAM WISODM

1. The best memories are the ones that happen by mistake.
2. The root of all money is evil…
3. Sometimes to grow together, you have to grow apart…
4. The best lessons are the ones not learnt in the classroom…
5. The only way to retain sanity in this mad mad world is to stay in touch with your inner insanity…
6. The more you try to run away, the more you realize you’re running in the wrong direction!
7. If you think you wont repent your mistakes, you’re probably doing right!
8. Ironically, material joys are immaterial!
9. If you're buying cheap to try and save just a few more bucks, it's probably not worth the trouble...
10. There are no rights or wrongs, everything is just life...It happens! (Whether you like it or not!)

Just some random musings that I keep coming up with from time to time...

Being a Critic

Ever been a critic of someone? When you think that they should've done this and should've done that? When you think that they did something stupid and ended screwing things up?
Well, maybe you should revisit that thought again.
When someone has done something adverse to your opinion, instead of looking at things with the benefit of hindsight, try putting yourself in their shoes and instead of thinking what you would've done, try to imagine why they did what was done in that situation.
We all like to think we would've done better, sometimes so do I...but I know for a fact, not everyone can do the right thing. Not because they cannot do it but because in a given situation, sometimes we weigh our options differently and most of the times we dont even weigh our options. Do not assume that you would do the right thing in any given situation. We are all human and if we always were able to do the right thing, we wouldn't be.
Give everyone a chance, no matter how much you despise them...

Grow Apart to Grow Together

I was watching The Wonder Years some days ago and Paul and Kevin had a huge rift between them. It almost broke their friendship and was a rather turbulent time for them both. The friendship did survive but they weren’t bonded like chewing gum and the sole of your shoe anymore. They both suddenly gave each other distance and more importantly space. And at the end of the show, as always, he makes a very profound observation and I found it very pertinent too… he said “That sometimes to grow together, you have to grow apart.”

True isn’t it? I know I have stuck onto my friends ever since school but we aren’t as close as we were back then. All of us have grown from being almost similar, to being completely different. And then there are best friends. I would have loved to keep things the way they were in “OUR” Wonder Years but then they cannot continue that way forever can they? All of us have a different point of view and a different perspective no matter how similar the situation. And each of us needs to grow individually. We cannot grow together cause then we keep holding each other back. Making sacrifices and choices you don’t want to, holding back just to be together until you reach a point when you both stop growing. And then, whether we want to or not, we must let go and move on.

Sometimes, it is better to grow apart. Sooner or later, when it is due, you shall grow together again… I know I did…

Awkward Questions...Unwanted Answers...

Well, for starters, apologies to all those whom I have recently had these endless conversations with in the recent past about this topic because I shall be plagiarizing some of your views herein and secondly, a big thank you to all those who have been kind enough and patient enough to bear through my endless ramblings on the topic and help me understand the subject better. A big thanks to TL for stirring up the hive with a thoughtful status message! (who would've thunk a one line status message would stir up a hornets nest!) And a very big thank you to ST for bringing things in perspective and giving my random thoughts direction…

Getting down to business. (funny, first time that a post begins the way a good article should… with the acknowledgments and disclaimers! I sure hope this is an interesting read!) Have you ever shirked away from facing a situation for the fear of the unknown? Or maybe not the unknown but just a fear of what might become known? It’s like a horror movie when you are so scared, you either not watch the movie or if for the simple fear of being called chicken you do, you close your eyes through the scary scenes! Life sometimes can be a horror movie and it does put in front of us the occasional scary scene that we simply shut our eyes and avoid. Although unlike the movies, the scary scenes do not resolve themselves and loom around in the background where we choose to ignore them wishing they would dissolve and disappear. I am talking about those few questions in life that we refuse to ask ourselves for the fear of the results they may uncover.

I was talking to a few friends of mine about this in one of those phases of being an advisor that I sometimes do face and I realized that a lot of us do not face up to many a significant challenges in life not because we are incapable of understanding the situation but because we are capable of understanding it but not of accepting the implications. Many questions that we need ask ourselves but we choose not to because they are awkward…awkward not because the questions might seem untoward but because the questions lead to answers that are not acceptable and completely unwanted for us. Many questions that we choose not to ask because we are afraid our asking them would lead to a dilution of our present situation and that what we have might prove to be something that we either shouldn’t be having or something that we ought to give up. And we do not seem to hold the courage or the gumption to accept either.

People believe (and not just one or two of them…a whole bunch!) that not knowing the answer to awkward questions is a whole lot better than knowing unwanted answers, after all, you would know one answer and then ten others would pop up! Then your whole life is a session of seeking unwanted answers to awkward questions! Not bothering about all of it will help you live in peace, not care about the future, not know about the past and simply enjoy the present! Then again there is the other factor to consider that nothing in life is ever permanent. What might seem right today will turn out to be wrong tomorrow! Answers that seem perfectly justifiable today will seem absolutely absurd tomorrow and vice-versa. Why then should you bother with the fruitless questions and answers and beat about the mulberry bush? Why not simply live the moment?

It’s our perception that makes a right or a wrong. Living in the moment only means you have no idea of where you are going next and yes that is a fun way of living but only if you think life is about parties and killing time and just getting through the day. Remember in the end all of us are gonna be dead. It’s not where we will end up that is the question, it’s how we get there! Ever asked yourself that question? Like I have said before, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.

If you keep avoiding it all, one day you will know all of it was wrong and no matter how much you convince yourself that what you are doing is without regrets and remorse because it is with your will at that point in time, it never does work out that way because sooner or later, the over-active human conscience starts kicking into gear (rather unnecessarily too might I add!) And yes, destiny ain’t taking you anywhere you don’t wanna go. It is upto you to decide which path you take at every cross-road in life. Do not be quaint enough to blame anything on destiny. Fate has nothing to do with how you lived your life…

One of the best things to do is to set standards for yourself, idealistic and unreal and yet try and achieve them. Do not compromise. Life just comes once as a freak accident of nature. Tomorrow, you and me will be disintegrated into one of the several little elements that make up for the unrealistic universe that someone else will be living in. Try not to waste this opportunity of life and strive to live it fruitfully. Live it in a way that is justified to both you and the others around you. If you have the right to do everything to keep yourself happy, you also are bound by duty to not do anything that might harm the happiness of another in anyway intentionally or unintentionally.

To put it in my own words in a conversation I had - “I have made mistakes but I have also promised myself that I shall not be repeating those same mistakes again, especially when there are so many new ones to be made! My standards are ones that are a result of my own thoughts my own soul-searching. They are the answers to my own questions and I believe that I am the happiest person alive because I can still laugh without the burden of the world on my shoulders or the fear of being judged. Sure like everyone else, I too have not been able to achieve everything I would have liked to but that doesn’t make me unhappy. It is like you said, a part of destiny… maybe there is a better future ahead… maybe it wasn’t time. Whatever the reasons, I know if and when the time is right I will get it, if I don’t, maybe I wasn’t meant to get it. But whatever it is you can be sure I am not gonna die wondering "what if" because I did not ask the questions.”

And to summarize, some indepth advice : everyone needs to live in the present, you can’t live in the future, nor can you mull over the past… but you learn from your past and plan for your future... and you can never stop living in the present… there is difference between this and living in the moment. Understand this fact of life well and you might understand what I have tried to say. Or maybe you might understand things better to tell me that my quest for thought and reasoning is unreasonable and vain. But even to begin the quest to disprove my arguments, you must ask yourself some awkward questions and be prepared for some unwanted answers…

It isn't a Dogs Life!

Have you ever spent your time loitering around the streets in the wee hours of night/morning? It's really nice to be able to do that, especially in Bombay. I believe Bombay is one of the most beautiful cities in the world at night time especially because of the sense of security it seems to exuberate at any hour of the day. I mean, you might get mugged or more likely be run over by a speeding SUV with a drunk, imbalanced bollywood star at the wheel, yet the city will not leave you feeling vulnerable at whichever hour of the day you might wish to loiter around. The streets of Bandra, Vile Parle and Colaba are some of the best places to loiter around late at night when you have had one coffee too many and cannot get some shut-eye. Catch a few friends and drag them along on an expedition through the streets of Bombay! Not-so-surprisingly enough, the streets aren't devoid of human life but the very fact that there are so few people on the streets makes you feel like you are in a beautiful small town somewhere that is not Bombay. (Unless you are around Colaba when the Porsche that just whooshed by in the blink of an eye reminds you that you unmistakably are in Bombay but the sight of the Porsche more than makes up for the misery of realising which city you are in!)
Nonetheless, I haven't written this for some more Bombay bashing or sharing useful tips on night excursions around the streets of Bombay. I have written this to propose a theory on dogs. Have you noticed how most dogs are timid and scared during the day time and will almost always walk away from you with their tails between their legs if you walk past them in broad daylight? Yet, if you were to encounter these creatures in the night-time, they seem to be completely transformed into bold and ferocious beasts who would bark at you, chase the odd car on the road and definitely bite any poor chap on a cycle! I was wondering what was it that brought about such a stark transformation in these chaps and then the solution hit me when I thought about this behaviour in the context of the way most humans would behave. Most subordinates would almost inevitably behave meek and timid when their bosses are around but as soon as they are left alone, they suddenly seem to find their teeth! Dogs are pretty much the same. They think that humans are scared of the dark and hence prefer hiding away in their holes rather than face up to the "masters of the nights" (the dogs) and challenge their supremacy at night-time. I reckon they also think that maybe someday the sun won't come up and then that day, dogs would reign supreme and finally lay claim to their subjugated kingdom.
Yet, somehow if dogs are thinking along these lines, they couldn't be too far from the truth could they? All human are scared of the dark and more so because they cannot face things they cannot see. Any adversity that is unforseen or unfathomed seems to be more than we can handle and most give up even before trying. I am sure the dogs are waiting for this eventuality to become reality and maybe then, they truly might rule the world! As an analogy, I suppose that even in our lives, there are dogs who are waiting for it to get dark in our lives and that would be when they would pounce and lay claim upon what is now ours. Guard yourself not against these dogs but against yourself because no matter how dark the night, daybreak is inevitable...the world will be yours again! It isn't a dog's life after all!

An Echo...

I know you might have read this before but I am once again soul-searching and hence have these thoughts echoing back to me...
read it if you want to and have nothing better to do...


THE INSIGNIFICANCE OF MY EXISTANCE.

The Best Friends Rule

As 20-somethings, all of us have a circle of friends we call our best friends. Friends who we hang out with on a regular basis, friends who are invariably a part of your best memories, friends with whom you do the craziest things imaginable and friends whom you share your innermost feelings with. Invariably these innermost feelings are about that one woman that completely blows your mind off! Some are lucky enough to eventually get together with the said women while some others find themselves not-so-lucky and are eternally in pursuit of that elusive little word “LOVE.”

Recently though I have noticed a “de-coupling” pattern among best friends (yeah, the jargon is creeping in my writing now…but what can I do, I am learning the markets slowly but surely!) Pay slightly more attention to it and you will see the pattern emerge even in your presence.

“All best friends are never in a similar state of being single or going steady, at any given point in time, simultaneously.”

Oh it’s true, it’s damn true! Think about it, whenever you wanna hang out with the gang, if you are single, you best friends will get their girl-friends along or not come because they have “prior commitments” and if you are going around, at least one of your friends is sitting alone and sulking through the evening cause he is single! You end up making elaborate plans about the stuff the whole gang would do together once everyone is seeing someone but the day never dawns! And if there is just one guy in the gang who is going steady with someone, the day he breaks up and you think everyone is finally single, not one but at least two others would have found someone on that very day! It’s inexplicable! Try it for yourself and I’m sure you’ll see the pattern too!