In conversation with Bombay

"Walking on Marine Drive from Charni Road,

Looking back on all those memories I horde,

My best friend and our long walks,

Those endless conversations and mindless talks,

I sit now, on the promenade,

On the horizon, I watch the sun fade,

I smile, wryly, at the metaphor,

Nostalgic tears that clear my memory but make the sunset a blur,

This is where, long ago, my tryst with Bombay had once begun,

This is where, now, I begin my farewell to this wonderful city, watchin’ the setting sun…"

‘What are you talking about? How can you be leaving now?’

‘Well, I think I have reached the end of whatever little part of my journey I needed to make with you. Reckon I’ve taken as much as I can out of you. It’s time to throw in the towel.’

‘No you haven’t. You still haven’t reached your goals or achieved anything of what you had set out to achieve. How can you be leaving any of that incomplete? You still have a long way to go…’

‘No, I haven’t achieved anything of what I had set out to achieve…and that is the reason I must leave now. I haven’t come anywhere close to achieving any part of what I had set out to get for myself. I cannot allow myself to go on this way. I know when I am beaten…It’s time to make a fresh start now and I know it has to be far away from you…it has been a long journey with you. Lots of good memories to take away, a bunch of lessons learnt that only you could’ve taught. I am grateful, I truly am. But I cannot carry on anymore…’

‘You’re on your way there! You’re so close on almost all fronts! How can you think of quitting now? You’re just being unreasonable. Stop being a cry baby and gather yourself, you aren’t going anywhere. Life is long…very long! Stick around and fight it here with me. You chose me…don’t leave now!’

‘I chose you for all the wrong reasons…all the wrong reasons that once again brought me on the same crossroads as before…story of my life - right place, wrong time… It’s always been that ways between us, right from the beginning. It always promised to be an intense love story with it’s fair share of trials and tribulations but it hasn’t been a rosy romance. I’m always in a love-hate relationship with you and lately, it hasn’t been good. You make me weak…I must go.’

‘You’re being stubborn. Who doesn’t have a love-hate relationship? You need to hang in there, you can’t be running away like this…especially not now. Whatever happened to all your beliefs and all that mad aggression and love?’

‘Hahaha! Love? Love! Love… I saw it first with you! I lost it without you! I came running to you hoping to find it again! But I’ve lost it now…the love you once knew doesn’t exist in here anymore…I need to find it again and I cannot find it with you…I cannot find it here. It is the reason I must leave!’

‘Your love will always lie here with me…what are you denying that for? Ever since the first time, has it not always been here, at the sunset that you’ve lived it up? What would you do away from here? The sun sets in the west not in the east! You’d never go anywhere else! Whom are you kidding?’

‘Myself, I guess…and I truly believe I must for now. Maybe it’s a mistake but like all the other times before this, I must make this one too…how would I know it’s a mistake if I didn’t try to work it and find out for myself! When I did choose you, I chose you for all the wrong reasons…that was a mistake too! But a beautiful one…a mistake that I’ll cherish all my life! I need to make another now…’

‘You’re not talking any sense…I won’t bid you farewell, for I know you shall return soon. I can only wish you luck and hope you have the strength and courage to gather yourself again…

Sometimes we think we’ll be together forever,

That we won’t have say our good-byes, ever,

But we forget that nothing ever remains the same,

And people leave for the same reasons they came…”

'I thought too that I wouldn’t say good-bye,

That parting with you would never be a reason for me to cry,

But life I’ve learnt loves playing with irony,

And the end of our journey together, now do I see,

I lived believing ‘In the remnants, my strength I shall find,’

But I’m weak today, ‘cause it’s me that’s leaving it all behind!'

BIKRAM WISODM

"Life's too short to stay upset...and too long to carry hate..."

BIKRAM WISODM

"Life's a story...some tell it...some hear it...and then there are those, that live it..."

BIKRAM WISODM

For Girls : No job = Marriage ;
For Guys : No job = No marriage!!!

Ironic that guys want a job to get married and girls want jobs to stay single!!!
Inequation of the sexes!!!

BIKRAM WISODM

"Fear the insane who will disbelieve an equation...for they are either foolish or sheer genius!"

ADIOS MUMBAI!

You know what, there are another 24-odd days left in my tryst with city of dreams, Mumbai... It's almost over now...and almost a time to reminisce...almost...
When I look back though, there have been a very few take-aways for me from my time here... before I joined, I had thought, knowing my years-old tussle with the city, that if i were at a point when I'd be leaving the city, I'd be sad and possibly overwhelmed. (Yes Lehar, I did think so but sadly, no such emotions crossed me today.) I'm almost happy to be leaving. Despite not having a job at the end of the course, I'm still not displeased. Apprehensive about my future, yes...very much so...but not disappointed.
Funny, 24 days...it's a countdown that I dreaded so much in every one of the previous institutions I have been a part of, even Thermax...yet, here...now...there is a sense of relief...an emotion that is new to me. Yes, obviously i shall miss some of the friends I have made over the past year but I am most disappointed that I will be leaving one person behind...someone whom I've been without for a long time now...
It's so bad, I tried looking back and writing a poem...and I couldnt even put down one line...

A Morose Poem...

Many years, don't just pass away in as many days,
I've tried, so many things, in so many ways,
What has passed, I've wanted to make it the past,
For some reason, that I do understand, it will, forever last...

There've been gales, not just 'winds of change,'
Changing everything...but not this...and it isn't even strange,
I stand here, consumed, by all that has been,
The greatest joy...and the greatest sorrow, I've already seen...

I smile, the proverbial cover for my frown,
I know it doesn't fool anyone, they've all seen me drown,
I've probably hurt those that stand with me now,
Yet, everyday, they're still there, dunno why, dunno how...

I am alive, only when I dream,
It's always the same one, you...me...our feet in the stream,
I stand still, the world around me still moving forth,
They carry me along, for whatever they see worth...

I look up, the ones that matter seem hurt, yet for me, they still smile,
They've never left me alone, been there all the while,
I wanna reach out now, but it's almost too late,
I can see indifference in those eyes, neither love now, nor hate...

I look away, I go back to where it's still easy to hide,
It's just a memory...or maybe a dream...dunno...but you're still beside...

(Don't ask me why this is here...I dunno...Poems are just morose...like they say, 'Don't blame the player, blame the game!' I'm gonna quit writing poems soon...)

WOW BLOGGING!!!

I was talking to a friend of mine and I was pestering him for some constructive criticism on some piece I had written. I always pester him for comments...not that I dont pester others...but was irritated with why I always am eager for comments and feedback...he reckons the satisfaction should lie in writing something not what others think of it...so here's what I said to him...
"If I write something I don't want people to read, I'll write it in my diary...if I am writing something in a public domain, it is for people to read...what good is anything I write if there isn't someone to read it besides me? And if I am writing for people to read it, I need to know what they think of it! If they like it, only then will I write...if they don't, I might well retire to writing in my little black book!"
I have 6 blogs now...6! Each one has atleast one reader...some are just written for just one reader...but there is someone to read it...if no one is going to read it, why would I write?
My point, as always, is simple...please leave a comment!

My 'Oh God!' Neighbours...

I have these neighbours...
(ummm...yeah, I'm sure you are well aware of the said species...)
We aren't really social with each other...
(ummm...yeah, I'm sure you are well aware of this behavior too...)
I haven't seen them in a year either...
(ummm...yeah, I'm sure you have been through the same...)
Last night, they had a party at their place
(and yes, we weren't invited...but that's not what this is about either...)
There was loud music and by the looks of things, a bunch of people were there too...
(and no, this isn't what this is about either...)
Today morning, the raddi-wallah was over to pick up old newspapers and well, it generally takes a long time for him to sort the papers in a bundle, tie them and weigh them...
(yes, i'm getting there...patience!)
While he was doing that, my neighbours had the local grocer deliver them some things...the bill was some 270/- and the woman handed him a 1000 rupee note...the poor delivery boy was having a little trouble giving her the 730/- change...he said he doesn't have it and she says "Oh God! We always buy from you...take the money and get me the change next time..."
Now in any other context that wouldn't really be a problem for me at all...trouble was of course, the whole facade she put up so some guy came up and paid the bill...I probably wouldn't be blogging about this at all but what got me was the "Oh God!" part...that was just too fake...and the other guy who came to pay the bill...no points for guessing why he popped in...

My thawing Brain

I think I don't use my mind often enough and so it freezes every other time...why do I say so? Well, everytime I'm giving an exam, no matter if I have already emptied my bladder, during the test, there is a build up of pressure invariably...I don't understand where all the water comes from. More than the test, I'm then concerned about the bursting dam. I have to keep arguing with myself, convincing me that I should hold out just a little while more...5 minutes...10minutes...~sigh~
I bet my frozen brain thaws during tests...