When I get caught up in the throes of Life...

To be honest, this is sort of a crib post.
I haven't been enjoying myself at work too much lately. When I think of working, it's always with some bigger things in mind, with my eye on the target out in the distance...which sort of leads me to start losing focus on the little things right in front of me. Like the petty politics in the office. It's beyond me and I can't really cope much with it...to be honest, in the past week, I did seriously consider looking for options elsewhere but then, thankfully, along came the weekend.
I spent some time doing things I really like...took a long walk, spent an hour sitting down at the bridge gazing at the sunset behind the clouds and got my thoughts sorted out.
I now feel a little embarrassed at being overwhelmed by the burden of lesser mortals. I seemed to have forgotten why I was where I was...funny how I can settle into a cocoon and get very comfortable there too.
~Sigh~
But then, I took time late at night to remind myself I am not the one to be working all my life chasing money in a 9 to 5 job. I'm someone who is a little different, someone who derives more joy from the people around him than the material comforts surrounding him...and then it hit me hard...I've been taking so much time to chase money, I've started compromising on the time I give to the people I love...and I realised, I might be good at what I am doing but I am not at my best doing it...I am at my best doing this - closing my eyes, traveling to that world I call my own and then coming up with a rhyme at will...especially for her...

In your eyes,if you find,no beads of sleep,
Find my memories,embedded deep,
Heart,mind,body,soul and all that is me,
Are bound in your love and will keep you company,
On forlorn nights,if you think we're too far apart,
Listen to the wind,for I whisper 'We'll always be close, no matter how far...'

With an illusion of what it should be like
I stare at her beauty and fantasize
But like my today that keeps devouring what I hope will be my tomorrow
And like everything that's passed by in this life, she too shall follow...
It's quite wonderful, what is right now
And yeah, my jaw gaping, I'm mouthing an 'Oh wow!'
But hey, like us, these moments too face the mortal curse
Imagine an eternity of bliss huh? Could anything be worse?
I sit here, love-sick, as I mull & I ponder
Romancing her as she floats far away on the yonder
And I love her so because she's gonna go
Then come back again, to shower me with the greatest little joys I know...
I cant even blame her for the way we are
It's me that seems to harbour more love when she moves afar
Having poured out all she can, soon she will float away, a little spent
But here I stand, happily disjointed from my 'morrow, as in all her glory, she rains in on my present!


(This one's titled 'Of a love for the Clouds'' but it'd be so much less fun if you knew it before right? But now that you know, you can re-read it! :P)

What Life Should be Like...

This is what life should be like,
Sitting in my car, parked randomly by the wayside,
My feet up on the dash, the seat reclined,
My empty gaze, that seeks nought and nought does it find...

A beautiful day, gray weather and a cool breeze,
The landscape dotted with the redness of gulmohar trees,
A whole day that stretches out in front of me,
With nothing planned, it pans out just as lazily...

My favourite music playing, neither too soft nor too loud,
And when my song comes up, I start singing out aloud,
And with the singer, I've smiled a little needlessly, and a little needlessly I've cried,
A little heavy hearted, and a little dreamy eyed...

I step out of the car, into a light drizzle,
Standing in a puddle, where the raindrops splatter and fizzle,
I stretch myself out, staring at the sky, as I connect with all my joy and pain,
I empty my pockets, end this rhyme and head off, for a walk in the rain...


(True Story!)

Just for 'economic' laughs...irrational too maybe! You might not wanna read this...trust me!

I have nothing to do at work...at least nothing significant...and this is what I've been thinking...
There was a time when you could only spend what you had saved...then came a time when you could only spend what you earned...and now is a time when we seem to be able to spend only what we might earn! Spend what we 'might' earn? And there are people willing to bet that we 'will' earn what we 'might!' I bet these people dont know the relationship between math and english...Will = 100% Probability and Might < 100% Probability...someone's gonna default right?

But then they tell me that they did consider that you 'might not' earn what you 'ought' and so provided for my default...but doesn't that mean that you have provided for all that I 'might' earn? In that case, you'd have to provide back-up for everything that everyone 'might' earn! So then, realistically speaking, you'd have to shore up reserves for everything that 'might' be earned in the future! Which means, in addition to providing for what I need 'now' so that I 'might' earn in the future, you also have to provide for what I 'might' earn...but you can't do that can you? That'd just mean you'd be giving me half of what I 'do' need. In that case, if you're providing for when I 'might not' earn what I 'ought' you're borrowing from the future me that 'might' be? So basically, I 'am' the insurance for when I 'might not' be what I 'ought' and so if I 'am not' what I 'ought to' we all 'will' be in a big mess anyways, huh?
Which means I 'am' having a laugh at my own expense? (Assuming I do exist in the future, failing which of course, I 'am' laughing at the future me's expense...) but considering I 'am' mortal, I'm pretty much screwing someone else's future, huh?

The First Drops...

The skies hang heavy, the clouds ready to burst,
I look upwards in ready, waiting for the rains to quench my thirst,
But the greyness just teases, as the dark clouds come and go,
My brows furrowed along their creases, I wait for when rainwater, in its gushes, o'er these roads would flow,
I sit by my window, cool gusts of wind in my hair,
Staring at the potential show, that the monsoons threaten to lay bare,
And then the first drops fall, followed in earnest by the first rain,
Right then, for me, the world does stall, and I'm lost in the magic of the monsoons, all over again!

A Bombay Summer

It's the fag end of May
And unbearably hot
And when living in Bombay
I'm gonna sweat, whether I want to or not...
For no matter where I go
I can't escape the heat
Air-conditioning is the Nirvana I know
But locked indoors, how long do you think myself I can keep?
And then once outdoors
At the humidity I hurl abuse
Important work or small chores
I'd avoid them all, if I could so choose!
But hey, I'm still smiling
And I'm happily bearing the discomfort at noon
For every cloud has a silver lining
And this one ends with the arrival of my beloved monsoon!

The "Why your dreams don't let you wake up" Theory

If you wanna wake up early and you have set an alarm, like me, I'm sure a lot of you too have trouble rising with the alarm. I blame it on our dreams.
Inevitably, the mind does dream rather prolifically in the morning. So if you're in the middle of a good dream, you lounge around the bed a little longer hoping to see out the rest of it. On the contrary, if you're having a bad dream, you wanna lounge around longer because you figure, now that I'm awake, I might as well fix this dream up with a happy ending.
Sadly, on both counts, we end up losing to the time-bound realities of societal life...
~Sigh~
Whoever you are that wants me to wake up early in the morning, know this, I'm not late because I am tardy, I'm late early in the mornings because of the sub-conscious nature of my dreams!
And if you have no trouble waking up in the morning, that's just sad. Largely because it means you don't dream enough...and as a recent research report by some fancy western university suggests, the most intelligent people are the ones that dream the most!

(Of course, this also implies that I'm one of the most intelligent people on the planet since I seem to indulge in plenty of day-dreaming in addition to all the regular dreaming at night!)
:P

The Day Before Tomorrow...

Sitting here after a very long time
I laugh at myself wondering how i got caught,
When'd i begin towing their line
And become a part of everything I'd fought,
Before they'd come, I would read every sign
And dodge the rat-race...or at least so I'd thought,
But here I am, my life no longer just mine
I've forgotten what it was, that once I'd sought,
A calm indifference within and with it, I seem just fine
Happy with the little compromise that on my hands I've got,
I watch the sun setting on what seems no more than a distant horizontal line
The ocean on the horizon that once to me signified such a lot,
But hey, I'm back on marine drive and with half a decent rhyme
And maybe not all hope is lost,
For who knows, to chase my dreams, there may still be a time
And may be, the day before tomorrow wouldn't be all for nought!

I know what came first, the chicken or the egg!

It was the egg!

The explanation is simple...I can only cook eggs...so for my frame of reference, the egg came first...the chicken are yet to arrive!
:D

Judgemental Relativity

This one draws inspiration from thoughts brought forth by Ria and her post.
It is also my attempt at putting to rhyme thoughts running in my previous post.

Deny it all you like
But you're just like me,
And as much as I hate admitting it
I end up in judgemental relativity...

I know you wanna believe
That there are no rights or wrongs
That like a cup o' coffee
The brew varies from light to strong...

But there are just two sides
And there lies nothing in between
In the greyness, I stubbornly justify
The darkness that I want unseen...

Yeah, I've made my mistakes
And try as I might, I'm gonna make some more
Even if I hate watching me falter
And I hate feeling bruised and sore...

But how could I have not fallen
If I chose to unsee the dark?
When I stopped asking awkward questions?
And didn't want answers for they were stark?

But enough of being human
My own weakness I must now fight
No more friggin lame excuses
I know what's wrong and I'm gonna go ahead and do what's right...