The Institution of Marriage

Recently someone was reading my palm and told me among a host of other things that I was destined to have atleast two if not three marriages. Now that set me thinking, am I really keen on a marriage at all anymore? For starters, what does marriage mean to me? Is a lifelong commitment really something that I am willing to make? After all there are so many advantages to being a bachelor all my life. (moreover, I do see my face in the mirror every morning and have absolutely no illusions about myself. So really, I do know its not going to be a matter of choice and I will in all probability be single for as long as I will it… yet, I shall discuss this for the benefit of others…) I mean think about it, you would not be able to go around with anybody else but your spouse for the rest of your days (if at all you want your marriage to be a success.) Moreover, there are those issues of commitment, jealousy and a whole lot of trust (or should it be mistrust?) Obviously women are rather free spirits at times and love flirting around without meaning much harm. Guys do it too but most are rather dumb and forget where to draw the line. The guy gets jealous and the gal is really struggling to understand why things are so difficult for the guys to understand. Then there is a huge rift and a flare up is inevitable. Then situations get complicated and the marriage eventually fails.

Of course this is the case when the people in question are highly educated and have a rather “open frame of mind.” People who are more conservative are capable of understanding marriages better and hence are capable of making them work. To them, there is no question of flirting or getting too friendly with others. Their world essentially revolves around their families and their extended families. They are very happy in that world of theirs and generally have a happier existence in terms of marriages than their counterparts. I bring this up because quite frankly, I no longer am a part of the conservative gang. I have been through too much to hold that view. Life is more beautiful when you can meet people openly without having to worry about setting your limits or defining boundaries that you shouldn’t be crossing. Like they say, “single and ready to mingle!” This statement is definitely true and I can vouch for it with experience. Here is an exercise for you. Notice the people you interact with everyday. Who are the ones that are most open and fun to be with? Who are the ones who can always be around if you ever need them? Which are the smiles laced with genuineness? Who are the ones who will always take the first step in making friends? Almost always, these qualities are borne by those who are single. So pray tell, why do we have an institution of marriage?

Moreover, in this fast paced world of ours, we are increasingly moving beyond our boundaries in search of better opportunities, be it in terms of education or employment or business. In such cases, it is not always possible for both the spouses to move and relocate themselves within the same pincode as the other. Then we try to make long distance relationships work, which again is no mean task. You meet each other once in six months or so. If you really love each other, you would never grab at an opportunity that takes you both away from each other. Then again, you are choosing your true love when you make such a choice. It could be your spouse (in which case you wouldn’t care about the better opportunity and would choose to stay put) or it could be your career (in which case you are saying you are more important than you [as in singular in the first case and plural in the second]) So my question being, why bluff yourself when you know what the truth is. If you know you wanna earn big bucks and gain power, do it with all your heart and put in everything to reach there. Why end up with half measures wherein neither of you can truly find happiness. Make mutual decisions or don’t make ‘em at all. (And for god’s sakes, don’t gimme the blunt excuse that you have to do it for your kids or your parents. Your kids and your parents would be happier if they saw you happy and could share in your happiness.) To this day, I have yet to hear of someone who was happy with the fact that their parents or their kids were making big money but were away from them. They would be happier in poverty if they knew you loved them so much as to choose them over all the riches in the world. And forget parents and kids, your spouse would love you more for it. After all, if you really wanna make relationships work, its not the big things that matter, it’s the little ones.

Of course, I would like to add that engineers do rarely face any dilemmas in marriage because they are so deprived of women in their fields, a question of infidelity doesn’t arise…

There you go, another of my weird philosophies in life…

An Accident

Some people are simply careless. They just cant be trusted to be responsible, not even for themselves even when the matter at hand could pretty well decide the future course of their lives. On one hand, you have people who grab at opportunities as they come along with both their hands and on the other, you have those that are careless enough to let them slip by. What is perhaps more disturbing is the fact that despite it all, they do not seem to be perturbed by the situation either. I mean, what kind of person gets a call from an esteemed B school, travels a long way for the interview and misses it because he is not carrying the documents specified as mandatory??? Yup you guessed it, it was me…

Well, I had a call from NMIMS in Mumbai and was supposed to be there at the institute for my GD and PI. Well, careless as I am, I overlooked the basic requirement of a personal details form that they required, duly filled. Well for those who know me, had I been alone, I might well have turned back and returned home but fortunately (yeah, I know, its surprising that I do know whats good for me!) I was accompanied by my cousin. On her insistence (and the fact that I did not wanna set a bad example for her) I got the necessary print outs from a cyber café. Let me tell you, if you think there are a million cyber cafés around here, you are seriously mistaken. The only café I found was in a secluded corner near the infamous local stations of Mumbai (and this was after a long caucusing session with one of her friends who apparently studied here or something of the sort.) The bloody place charged me Rs. 10 per page for the print outs. Daylight robbery I say. Beggars cant be choosers though, right?

Well we finally got back at the venue with the duly filled forms. However, this melee had caused me a delay of about 45 minutes and in this time, the GDs had already been done with and the interviews were half way through too… No amount of pleading and bargaining on my part could budge the lady there and convince her to kindly make an exception for me. (Had I had even an iota of sensibility I might have shoved in a Rs.100 note but then again, I aren’t that smart am I?) There goes an opportunity to pursue a high flying career with an MBA from NMIMS…

Those who know me well, will know that there would be another motive to this post than just telling you what happened. Simply missing an interview would not be reason enough to put it up on my blog, right? You got me.

What intrigued me most was my sister’s reaction to the whole situation. So now that we have laid the basic framework of what had happened, here is her reaction.

When I found out that I did not have the form (which was supposed to be downloaded and printed) I could (and in hindsight probably should) have informed the invigilating officer but instead, decided I needed a walk. I called my sis and informed her of my folly and asked her if she could see some cyber café close by. Well she absolutely freaked out for starters. She pressed the panic button and froze with her mouth agape for starters. I laughed out loud at her expression. (well, what do you expect from me?) well, a minute later she gathered herself (sort of… she is kinda used to being around me after all) and was downright appalled at the expression (or rather the lack of ‘em on my face, not a frown, or a tensed brow or… you get the picture) In her words “do you have the slightest clue of what is happening here? How can you be so nondescript about it?” My response, “Yup, I do know whats happening here. You are freaked out and downright paranoid while I am calm (and might I add, I was cool as a cucumber…) There are three ways you could react to a situation like this. First, you could panic, be thrown into inactivity by allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by the situation. In this case of course, you would be so disturbed, you wouldn’t be able to think at all and hence wouldn’t be able weigh your options clearly. You could end up in an imbalanced frame of mind thus impeding any efforts on your part to try and salvage something out of this situation. Second, you could panic a little and then go about hurriedly getting through the task but still end up the loser because you were perturbed by the situation and didn’t weigh your options as well as you could have. Third, you could be calm with what could be described as nerves of steel to some (and absolute unabashed shamelessness to most) and realize a couple of things.

A> You don’t have the form which is an absolute must (which is the reason for paranoia and you don’t need to be Einstein to figure that out and I don’t really know why I am putting this down as a reason anyways)

B> Should you inform the authorities, they might probably help you get the form but that would really deal a terrible blow to your aspirations cause I really don’t think the invigilators would take too kindly to your folly.

C> In all probability, if you came later with all the documents in place at a later stage, they might consider you for a later batch and you could get away with it by telling them how busy you are and how committed you are to your work. That I am sure would be something that would work in your advantage rather than impede your chances for the same.

D> Having had been calm, you would be in a better position to handle the GD and PI that lie in front of you.

E> After the long journey in the local (and the terrible squeezing, shoving and getting crushed), you could really use a walk to relieve the stiffness…

We did things my way. She of course, was shocked at the level of shamelessness I had just achieved…

Where do you end and i begin???

I am a hopeless romantic to say the least,

I still believe 'Beauty and the Beast,'

I get a rush just at your thought,

Cant believe how much happiness in my life you have brought,

I see us growing old together in our arms,

Smiling even as wrinkles take over our palms,

Telling our grand children tales of how we met,

Long walks in the rains, getting all wet,

But heck we are still young and theres a long way to go,

What might happen tomorrow how are we to know,

Im scared of falling in love again cause i really cant see,

Where you end and where is the beginning of me...

I WAS ONLY DREAMING

Lying on the beach beside you,

No one else around but us two,

Hand in hand we were walking,

At the water’s edge we were talking,

Far away from all the worldly fuss,

All that mattered was us,

I’m planning our future together,

We could stay in love forever,

But my heart is broken, you’re leaving,

And I realize now, I was only dreaming…

How Boring

The man in front of the class,

Will almost always present himself as top brass,

He teaches less, advises more,

Almost always emphasizing on a high score,

I know he has been there, done that,

But I wish the lectures weren’t as flat,

These long sermons put me to sleep,

Share your experiences, the advice you can keep,

Perhaps I am being biased today,

Cause god damn it, I am sitting in class on a very beautiful Sunday…

My Evening Walks...

The days been awfully hard,
Its left me feeling all jarred,
I am almost sapped out,
Don’t wanna do anything but get out,
The room seems to be closing in on me, shrinking,
My mind drifts away, dunno what I am thinking,
Fiddling with my keys im distracted,
Cant express how much boredom I have contracted,
My system is shutting down, my brains a blip,
I know in a moment I might just flip,
And then I escape the confines of this prison,
Music in my ears, I don’t mind the wetness of this season,
I don’t need anyone right now, not even to talk,
Just as long as I can head off, for my evening walk…

The Last Straw

We were having this rather heated debate about the presidential candidature of Mrs. Pratibha Patil and someone was jotting down everything with a pencil and paper. For some reason, it kept falling out of her hand and dropped down to the ground very frequently. Miraculously though, the tip survived all the crashes...
I was drinking some cola with a straw and as is my immature nature, kept fiddling with the straw throughout the debate.
Eventually, she put the pencil down on the table and alongwith the rest of us, took the opportunity to sit back and enjoy a heated argument between two of the participants. I was busy fiddling with the straw when it fell out of the bottle and rolled onto the table. It hit the pencil and took it along as it fell down. This time though, the pencil wasnt as fortunate and broke away in two pieces, right through the centre. This wasnt lost on the others who by now had an eye on the two of us dropping things continually. (The tip survived the fall though would you believe!) Well in either case, someone proceeded to comment rather wisely-
"That was the last straw that broke the camlins back!"

Deep Within...

It was the hardest thing to do,
After all these years to bid you adieu,
Those wonderful memories of those inseparable times,
Those infinite moments with you that I captured in rhymes,
I cant believe how cruel life can be,
To have to put in our past all those beautiful things we did see,
The pitter-patter of the rains still rings in your smile,
The one that crossed your lips, when drenching together we walked that mile,
After you, no one else have I met,
That I could share my soul with, ’least not yet,
Sometimes I do wonder what might be if it hadn’t played out this way,
But I know no matter what, what happened is for the better today,
And though we might never meet again,
Ill carry you along forever deep within…