Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Quandry

Some movies are so well made, they make you think and take stock. Anybody who has seen TZP, I am sure will understand what I mean. If not for Darsheel’s stellar performance, matched onscreen by the phenomenally talented Aamir, the storyline itself will hit home and punch you straight in the heart. My dad for one, found it hard to believe this was a bollywood movie. “For a change,” says he, “Bollywood movies seem to be coming of age!” This of course, is a man who doesn’t really watch Bollywood movies too much. Recently though, (thanks to this useless son of his,) he has watched movies like ‘Black Friday’ and ‘Bheja Fry’ and liked them a lot.
Well, that apart, the movie really put me in a quandary cause now I am in a dilemma. Ironically enough, you do know that in my previous post, I did lay down my dreams and as a part of that elaborate set-up of my life, I have said somewhere that I do wish to take up teaching towards the latter part of my life. However, the movie raises a debate as to whether I should take up teaching special kids. Of course, I need to first establish whether I am good enough to be able to cope up with the rigours of teaching these special kids. But if I could, I would teach at a school for special kids, at least part time.
Honestly though, I am kinda disappointed that I am not a dyslexic. It means I am a part of the crowd and chances that I shall one day dazzle the world with my brilliance are now even slimmer!
(Hehehehe… yeah yeah… go on and laugh it off)

Dreams Inc.

I guess by now you are aware of the fact that I wish to remain a child forever (or at least as long as I am alive, whichever comes first) and I never wish to lose to lose my zest for life. There are so many around me who get stressed enough to try smoking and drinking to relieve themselves of that stress and give them at least a momentary high but for me, living life in every situation is what gives me a high. I could be happy or sad or simply indifferent but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy every living breath if I gave up on any one of those feelings. The importance of each and everyone is so intense that I wouldn’t know joy from sorrow without the presence of either. But then again, this is clichéd. I am sure you too have heard all this talk before.
So here comes the main objective of putting up this little post here which I consider most important. I wish to lay before you, my most elaborate plans for life…and I post them here so that I never back away from them at least for the fear of being a hypocrite. Here goes:

1. In a couple of years (add or subtract a few here and there) after I have gotten a “steady” job, I shall head out for a road trip through Europe with a couple of my friends.
2. Upon my subsequent return, I shall work for the next 5 years, (again, give or take a few years) buy my first BMW, (7 series ofc) and head out on a road trip through the backyards of my beloved and beautiful country, India…company or no company.
3. By the time I am 45, I aim at being able to quit work altogether and instead become a teacher (and no, I don’t give a crap about teaching hollow MBA students, I would much rather be in the company of honest and sweet kids in school, preferably at my alma matter.)
4. By the time I am 55, I shall quit the teaching profession too (cause I am sure I would be too old to impart anything useful to the kids after that) and then dip myself into my first love, writing.

I am not very rigid about the time frame and I am definitely subject to changing a few of my views (especially the one about the “fancy” resort) but as far as possible, I want to live upto these here dreams of mine. Of course, dreams do come at a price and I am sure it would be difficult to find a wife who might approve of such a lifestyle cause it would mean giving up a very lucrative job for one that pays alms instead as a teacher (and then dying poorer cause I guess writers aren’t paid too much in their lifetimes, unless you happen to have a surname that says Rowling) so I guess I have to compromise on that front and live a singular life but I am optimistic I might bump into a very smart and suave (or maybe, like me, just plain naïve and stupid) young lady someday who might approve of me. But scouts honour (and I was a scout for about 3 whole weeks, but nonetheless) I shall not compromise on this, period. (Just be there to pinch me and remind me of these in case I ever falter in my steps or get bitten by the money bug!)
Ummm, there is another glitch of course, I might not be able to afford these dreams (I mean financial viability) but I am hoping that 2 years doing an MBA specializing in Capital Markets will have its pay-offs. (Hoping…with both my fingers crossed et al!)

Learning the Rhyme Scheme

For all the wonderful praise I have received from all of you for my poems, I think I owe you an honest confession. The first poem I ever wrote was for my school magazine and (in what I assumed at the time was poetic liberty,) I followed absolutely no rhyme scheme. The sentiments for my school were all there, in very patriotic display. I was so proud of it when I first finished writing it, I thought it would be published for sure. With absolute pride in my work and a gleam in my eye, I handed over the poem in my neatest hand-writing to my favourite English teacher. I assumed she would read it and gimme a pat on the back or something of those proportions.
I was thoroughly disappointed though. She didn’t read it then and when she did read it later, she called me up and said she expected better from me. She asked me if I had read any poems apart from the ones in the text books and whether I understood rhyme schemes. Now I will admit, up until that point, I thought rhyme schemes were for novice poets who didn’t know squat about poetry. I assumed the beauty of poetry was bringing out the emotions not necessarily in rhyme. Of course, my whole outlook was such because (now I am admittedly being bashful but nonetheless,) I was always a great orator and had a gift of the gab. With a beautiful sense of modulation and the ability to portray emotions well with my voice, I could (and I reckon I still can) bring text to life. So the poem I had written, when I read it, sounded really fabulous.
My teach though added another perspective to my line of thought. She told me that the beauty of a poem was in its rhyme. A poem that does not follow a rhyme scheme is simply an essay. There has to be a distinct difference between an essay and a poem and that difference exists in the rhyme scheme. She handed back the poem I had written and told me to fit it to a rhyme scheme. (Now, ever since the beginning I have always worked close to the deadlines and this being no exception to the rule, I had submitted it on the penultimate day.) so, with my foolish pride hurt by rejection from my favorite teach, I did not look at that piece of parchment with my first poem on it again all day long. Yet, when I went back home, I had swallowed all that foolish pride and in the dark of the night, I sat to re-think all that I had been told and so re-wrote the poem fitting it to a rhyme scheme again. I have lost that precious piece of parchment to the sands of time by now and hence cannot show you the two versions of my first poem ever but I can tell you one thing for sure, it was undoubtedly my best work yet.
It ended with something like this-

…down untrodden paths all our journeys begin,
Vincentians- we dare… and do… and win…
-Vincenti Dabvitur-

P.S.The edited poem did not find its way back to my teach for her feedback but looking back in hindsight, I am certain Mrs. M.F. would have been proud to have been able to impart some knowledge to this ungainly pupil of hers. And if not, I am greatful to her that she helped create a better understanding of the beautiful world of poetry in me…

Technologically Challenged

Ever had a moment when you thought you were unable to figure out how and why a device functions the way it does? Ever been marveled at how well somebody else you know can use certain features of a software or an electronic good which you fail to grasp even the basics of? Have you ever been ridiculed by the simplicity of something you thought to be otherwise? Ever been in a position where you thought you would never be able to figure out how to use something and so stayed miles away from it until one fine day, you no longer could carry on that way and had to learn it eventually only to discover it wasn’t really rocket science after all? If you answer with “yes” to any of the questions above, you are what may be termed as “technologically challenged.” However, in my experience I have not yet encountered anybody who is an exception to the rule and would hence never be naïve to ever term anybody with that phrase.
Let’s face it, being technologically challenged does not mean you don’t understand technology, it only means you are afraid of trying out something new. It means you do not accept change as easily as some of the other mortals around you. It means you are more of the conservative types (although you might wanna prove otherwise by stating a million other things that you do “unconventionally” like being a rebel and driving down the wrong side of the road or simply not being straight-forward, if you know what I mean… but heck those don’t count.) Accept it, you hate change and are really scared of being driven out of your comfort zone. And it is understandable, who would wanna face the world with unknown possibilities especially in a condition when you do not control the certainties of the outcome. (And hell no, I ain’t talking about calculating probabilities, trust me, that is the last thing on my list of to-do’s, period.)
But quite literally, be it driving a new car with automatic gears or using a microwave for the first time in your life or moving from a nokia to a sony-ericsson or shifting from Microsoft to Apple or trying out the new electric razors or (and this one is especially for the women!) trying to handle anything electronic, (yeah yeah, call me an MCP but that stands…) everybody is queasy about anything new that seems like rocket science. That includes ME, the geeks, the UN-conventionals, the rebels, the women or even you, just about everyone hates (or to put it in a more tasteful version, “dreads”) a change in life. In my opinion all humans, even rocket scientists, are technologically challenged. No exceptions to the rule. So the next time you fret using that new microwave with all the fancy, jazzy and pictographic buttons, don’t despair, use it. You ain’t the only one who doesn’t understand it. If not anyone in the world, you have yours truly for company at all times.
This comes after I tried my hand at hosting links to other bloggers on my blog. I dreaded the complexities involved for a whole year before I got adventurous enough to get out and do it! About time too I must say!!! My sincerest apologies to everyone involved here! Hehehe…

For MA and PA...

Why have you spent so long understanding me?
My happiness, my sorrows and my soul you care to see?

Why have you been here everytime you I need?
To listen to my ramblings, to all my talk pay heed?

Why do you spend hours doing so many things?
That no matter how little, still to me joy brings?

Why do you put up with all my misgivings?
Patiently talk me through them and always be forgiving?

Why do you always whisper patient words?
Until all my foolish pride breaks and your voice is finally heard?

Why do you always cover me with your protecting hand?
And never leave me alone, a storm to withstand?

Why do you always see the good in my bad?
And always pull me out of guilt to make me feel glad?

Why do you always put everything aside?
Everytime I fall down and help me get back astride?

Why do you always encourage me on?
To see the road through when my courage is worn?

Why do you always throw me a rope?
When the whole world has given up all hope?

Of all these questions and then so many more,
If I ever sought answers, with you I shall find them for sure,
Cause you are always close to me the distance no matter how far,
And I would be incomplete without you, my dearest Ma and Pa!

My Life - A Movie

When I’m dead, would my life make for a movie?
Would it be a drama all serious or just seriously funny?

Would it be a story encapsulating a doomed romance?
Or like my attitude, would it take an optimistic glance?

Would it implore a mature psyche on all things life?
Or would it just be a child’s view cutting through butter like a warm knife?

Would it be a story of friends having a gala time?
Or would it be a solitary poet writing his rhyme?

Would it be a tale of courage, betrayal and hope?
Or would it just be a tale tying everything with a sarcastic rope?

Would it be a story of living life with pure grit?
Or would it be a story of just gliding through it?

Would it be a thrilling mystery?
Or would it be just plain history?

Would the ending be happy or sad?
Or would the fact that it got over make people glad?

Would it warrant a second time see?
Or would it be an iconic anthology?

Well I dunno how long the movie might end up being,
But even if it’s a short one, I bet a significant part in it you will be playing!


Nothing’s ever big or small,
And we don’t even have to call,
Cause more than we know, we can guess by now,
What we’re feeling and just how,
And we needn’t ever fret, for each other we’re always there,
And no matter what we show, we’ll always care,
Nobody’s perfect as we both have guessed,
Each others flaws are what hold interest,
And there are so many times still to come,
When we shall fight and share moments awesome (and then some!)
As we dance and tango and gauge each other,
Wary at once and then without bother,
Trying to understand ourselves and then us,
As we share so much, then make a fuss,
We mock each other and we both do share,
A marriage of the minds, weird and fabulously rare…
P.S. For my dear friends the Jains, theTagras, the Rehanis
and all those lovely couples out there who are
already married in the mind!
( also for the Snehis? hehehe, i wish :P )


Am I filled with brilliance?
Perhaps yes, perhaps not…
Do you know what teaches me most?
Perhaps a movie more than what a book ought…
Am I completely delusional?
Perhaps even insane or perhaps a clot…
Do you know where I wish to go?
Perhaps you don’t but then you’ve never sought…
Am I towards genius inclined?
Perhaps I am or perhaps its an illusion you’ve got…
But none of these questions could ever matter much,
Perhaps because I have won myself battles in the mind, ones you have never fought…

A Storm in My Mind

Do you know I am in the midst of a storm,
My oars are weak and my boat is worn,
The sky is falling as I see it,
The waves are growing and I long for sand in my feet…
Do you know I am in the midst of a battle,
My bullets are wasted and my gun’s a rattle,
The line is breaking as I stand ground,
My mates are fallen and I long for the sparrows sound…
Do you know I am stuck in the desert,
My throat is parched and my eyes do hurt,
The vultures are crowding as I walk on,
The sand seems endless and for some water I long…
But the storm in the ocean doesn’t bother me,
The din of battle couldn’t shatter me,
The heat of the desert couldn’t sear me,
Cause I know when I am outta here, in your arms I shall be…

Back In Time...

After a long long time, I stumbled upon some of my old favourites from my school days as I was rummaging through millions of songs on a friends lappie. Funny how songs that once were on the the tip of your tongue find themselves categorically filed to the forgotten sections of your memory.
I don’t know if you have ever tried it but I am sure you have, and when you listen to these songs after ages, they have the ability to take you back through time to those days of yore. I can still remember myself from those school-days when we school-boys crooned out numbers from BSB, Boyzone, Bryan Adams and the lot. When I waited eagerly every morning as they played these songs over and over again on MTV (and surprisingly enough, never bored me!) Damn, wonder where those days of innocence passed you by… (and I mean YOU! I am still the same little obnoxious and innocent and (cute?) little child I was so long ago.) I might have become a little more reserved cause I am being hounded by grand old men who have long forgotten what it means to be young at heart. Damn, how can you choose to chase money and power in dark and dangy corporate corridors over chasing balls on the playing ground? (Told you, I still am the child I was ten years ago (or ten days ago, the time-frame really doesn’t matter does it?) it’s YOU that has changed… I still am stopped at the doors of any bar I enter with YOU cause they reckon I am not over 18!)
Ok, ok… Ill lay back on all the sarcasm. Honestly though, it was a wonderful feeling to listen to those songs all over again. I might well have been in school in that hour of beautiful music in my ears as I ran on the beach. (Damn, I am reduced to running on the beach as the old men around me meanwhile drown themselves in books and assignments and other such frivolous activities on their laptops. I would have much rather fought with the guys on whether it was a 6 or a 4 and in the worst case watched The Flintstones or DuckTales…)
Damn, I really wish YOU hadn’t grown up, so much so, that I would have to keep travelling back in time along those corridors of memories to recall the last time YOU laughed out loud! Or maybe its just that I am a bit too different. People generally confuse their memories with their dreams, I just confuse my present with my memories… Do I hear the guys calling me to play downstairs? (Hmmm… maybe if I could turn back time!!!)

Oh! and P.S. You know you are getting old when you start getting nostalgic... Damn, if thats true, maybe I'm getting old too!!! ACK!!!
I wait on everyday,
Hoping to see you someday,
Cause I only fell in love once,
And try as I might I am a dunce,
As I try and navigate through this course,
Without direction I am lost (off-course!)
And eagerly in my life, I wait for you to enter,
And to my universe give a definitive centre!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bikram Wisodm

1. Of yesterday I had been trying to make sense,
Before I realised, tomorrow was present tense…

2. Loved myself to destruction,
Waiting to be loved to resurrection!

3. Maybe its a matter of pure chance,
But in my life, never has there been any romance!

4. If I never gave my life too much thought,
Never could I have to my lips, this smile brought!

5. The happiest that you could ever be,
Is when nothing but sadness around do you see!

6. Its not always easy to do what is right,
Sometimes, even the good you have to fight!

7. Life could never be fair,
If it were, eagles would never dare!

8. Where you are doesn’t matter as such,
Where you will yourself to be matters much!

9. Whoever said life doesn’t give you a second chance,
Never knew the meaning of romance!

10. Life says there are a million reasons to smile,
But the most precious to me is the sight of you, even if from a distant mile!

11. I could live without seeing the sun,
But if the day would pass by without seeing you, it wouldn’t be any fun!

12. Life’s joys are misconstrued and frantic,
Unless of course, you happen to be a hopeless romantic!!!

13. Stop floating in a world of dreams,
Open your eyes, there is more to reality than it seems!!!

Yeah, its been a productive evening! Been that kinda day actually… also had my first visit to the BSE today!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

A Night to Remember!

I tell you, my life is really to be envied of at the moment! These are probably the best years of my life and I really don’t think life could or would ever get better than this for me or for that matter, neither do I consider anybody else as lucky as me to be where I am, when I am and with whom I am. I am having a blast with some really good new friends in a new city (which, might I add, I still haven’t begun liking!) Nonetheless, this time could never compare to the times I spent so long ago back in Pune. Then again, that’s water under the bridge. The present is another experience in itself!
Beginning with the first evening… Me and Anuj were craving for a break from the regular food of the canteen or elsewhere and hence decided to head out for pizza at Dominoes. Dominoes have an outlet close to the station and the two of us headed there in all eagerness. Unfortunately for us though, Dominoes only have a take away counter in Vile Parle… we discovered this when we reached the counter!
Now we faced the inevitable option of looking at some other avenues for satisfying our carnal needs. Would it be pizzas at Smokin Joe’s or Pizza Hut? (If you know me or even have been reading this blog for some time, and you actually think that either of the two were options that I would have considered and (worse!) you think I would actually write about it in this sacred space, please feel free to committing suicide by crashing into a mosquito!)
We decided to do something drastic and parceled a couple of pizzas, some garlic bread and some soft drinks and headed down to the beach to enjoy a fabulous dinner! Honestly, I wonder why people don’t do it more often! Fabulous ambience, moonlight dinner and if you sit anywhere close to ‘Sun n Sand,’ you would also be the beneficiaries of some nice music from some wedding party in their lawns!
Huh… good music, moonlight dinner and the beach on a cold January evening. As romantic as this life could afford… and I am sharing it with Anuj! Story of my life… right place, wrong time!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

I could Ketchup but I Sauce it!!!

I finally had an opportunity to speak to her today...
In the canteen, she asked for ketchup at the counter. As should be expected, the poor chap across the counter was stumped with the terminology. I stepped in and said "Sauce" after which, it was promptly delivered to her.
Then I turned to her and said (with absolutely no tact and stupid sarcasm laced in my tone might i add) "Ketchup? You think they would understand what that means?"
Huh... She looked at me with a very "what a weirdo!" expression, took the sauce (or should i say ketchup?) took her plate and walked away...
Damn, trust me to goof it all up...
IDIOT!!! Ketchup??? Sauce??? Whats the bloody difference???