Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Maybe its Just Lust

Albern reached out to his dresser to turn-off the alarm just before it went off. He hadn’t needed it to wake him up today, he hadn’t slept all night as he lay awake thinking about Adele. He hadn’t known her for too long and yet, in just a few weeks, she’d already left him longing sleeplessly for her…as if the sleepless nights she gave when she was around in his apartment weren’t bad enough! He needed to gather himself and find the confident, successful architect that designed majestic buildings at Rosewood Scapes. Adele was supposed to be a fling, not the whirlwind affair that left him tied in knots as it was turning out to be. As he put on his running shoes, he knew he’d have to make today’s run a lot longer and a lot harder, running from any situation was always easy after all!

Adele was the consultant architect from Sybarite UK, the London based architectural firm that was collaborating with Rosewood on one of the most ambitious skyscrapers to dot NYC’s landscape yet. Albern was certain it’d be a monument, not just another tall sky-scraper to hang in New York’s already crowded skyline and if he wasn’t sure before, the ideas that had begun flowing when Adele had joined, reaffirmed his belief. His own creative juices seemed to flow copiously in her presence, even grown men can have such childish exuberance when they want to make an impression. Albern was responsible for how the building would look from the outside and he had plans of the grandest of scales and had spent many a hour designing in his mind every overlay and every little carving that would go up on the building’s arches, no matter how obscure. Adele was responsible for maximizing the space within Albern’s grand building and working out the best structural design to compliment his grandiose plans. And compliment him well she did, both in the design room and outside. They seemed perfect for each other.

He still remembered and played the scene when he first met her. He’d walked in late for the meeting ‘Tardy American’ she’d reprimanded him, ‘Fashionably late,’ he defended later. He apologized and made his way to his seat making acquaintance with the rest of the Sybarite team as he went along. He fumbled for words though when he reached Adele and it had taken Adele’s reprimand to get his tongue to retort with something intelligent…in hindsight though, he had to admit, it wasn’t quite all that intelligent. He seemed to have been completely mesmerized by an aura of confidence that surrounded her and told her of this as he held her close one night. ‘Bah! That was pure lust. I have that effect on most men,’ she’d said. It was always difficult to get her mushy.

Adele was beautiful but her enigma seemed to overshadow her beauty for Albern. She was confident, witty, charming, intelligent and playful when needed but there was always a touch of mystery to her that drew him even closer to her. Most women had been more than willing to talk about their past, their dreams, their emotions and just about anything after a couple of nights but with her it had been different. She seemed to only talk about work and utter gossip always keeping a part of her secluded from him. He’d try getting through to her, to get under her skin, so to speak but had always been greeted by a cheerful laugh and before he knew it, she’d hijack the topic to something totally different. In the weeks she used to spend in New York, Albern felt like he was the center of her world and yet, when she was back in London, she’d disappear like she couldn’t have cared less. Perhaps she was married he’d first thought but her finger bore no signs of a wedding ring nor did her phone keep buzzing whilst she was in New York, a husband would’ve called often, Albern reasoned. After all, who wouldn’t if they were married to Adele? She’d let slip a name on occasion, Marcus. An old flame she’d told him and quickly brushed aside the subject as always. His heart had felt a deep pang the few times it’d happened and he’d had to remind himself that this was supposed to be fun, a stress buster. But he’d felt drawn even more to her every time. He’d once made the mistake of telling her he was on the verge of falling in love with her when he lay spent beside her but she’d playfully chided that it was just pure lust and seemed to seal his lips with hers, eager to avoid the subject. He’d thought about ending it between them that night but he couldn’t get himself to do it. After all, the sex was incredible and he reasoned perhaps, it was lust that carried him on.

He was almost at the end of his run as he turned back onto his block and running hadn’t done him much good. There were still cobwebs in his head and he’d spent even more time thinking about her. As he entered his apartment and saw the clock hit 9, he realized Adele would’ve landed in Heathrow. He checked his phone to see a few missed calls from her and a few messages with sweet nothings in them. And just as always, that’d be the all that he’d hear from her till she got back the next week. He’d have to settle for the longing sleepless nights till then.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Its 3 am and I lie awake, my sleep robbed

Its your fault again, you've left my heart throbbed

Dreams lie mixed with the events of the recent past

And I dont know how long I can keep these feelings masked

Perhaps if I'd let it all out my heart will be at ease

But to say it all would have consequences that wouldn't necessarily please

And so it lies bottled somewhere deep within

A burden I'd like to share but I dont know how to begin

Perhaps time will take its toll as it always has done

And just as always I wont have to say a thing, perhaps, just as always, I could run...

Thursday, August 04, 2011

There's a world where my best laid plans have always come good
Where the words I've said are never misunderstood
There's a world where my best intentions always have the right outcome
And I've always succeeded in whatever I've done
There's a world where even unintentionally have I never caused harm
Where unparalleled is my wit and inescapable is my charm
There's a world where all I've ever wanted, is all I've always had
And if you ever happen to find the way to get there, let me sure as hell would make me glad...