Crying in the Rain

Do you hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops the way I do,

Falling in a rhythm condescending all I hold true,

The rains mock me with their irregular song,

All my attempts at being always right, never wrong,

Just listen to those drops telling me I’ve been a fool no less,

Telling me my search for black and white is in vain with all the greyness,

It pours and stops and the sun is out again,

And I look like a fool as now in the sun, I stand drenched by the rain,

But I’ll have the last laugh cause I won’t let anyone see,

All that I hold buried deep within me,

I’ll wait for the cloudy skies,

So no one knows what I hold in my eyes,

I will hold my head high and keep my pride,

And in the mock of the rains, I will hide

All the heartache and all the pain,

And I will do all my crying in the rain,

But someday when my crying’s done,

I am gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun…

DISCLAIMER: This one isn't a complete original, it is inspired by the song "CRYING IN THE RAIN" by "THE EVERLY BROTHERS" some lines are taken from the song but for the most part, it is me...

I Need Your HELP! DESPERATELY!!!

Here's the deal. A friend of mine SJ, suggested that I should try sending my poems out to some competitions. He figures, (rightly so too) that I might take a gamble to see if I can make a few bucks out of my talents. Wouldnt hurt the pocket money right? That's where the problem starts.
I wish to submit one poem. (Do you see the problem? JUST ONE POEM!) and when i tried reading them, i loved 'em all! (Being your own greatest fan sucks sometimes!)
Now that's where I need your help guys.
Please tell me your favourite amongst a few that i have shortlisted here-
1. Groping
2. Cancer
3. To have you for Life
4. At the end of college light
5. Once upon a time
6. Remember yesterday

Please Please Please help me here...

Random Thoughts while on Vacation!

1. I don’t understand why people want to cling onto the notions and beliefs and ways of the past. They want to stay with the old traditions, maintain the same old ways and search for wisdom in the ways of civilizations long gone by. In my opinion, it’s a classic case of the grass being greener on the other side. I would have liked to make this a long ranting post complete with examples et al, however I am in no mood to bore myself with all that…I am in Poona after all and I have a whole lot of other things on my mind right now. Hence, for all those who would like to restore ways of the past, maybe you oughta remember that the people back then have striven for the life you are enjoying. Why, in God’s name, would you want to insult their intelligence and change it back to what it was? Be happy where you are.
2. For the past umpteen days, I have been consistently having dreams where while everything is perfectly fine, my mouth is suddenly filled with an intolerable quantity of chewing gum, that no matter how hard I try, I can’t spit out. Well, in tune with my dreams being a prelude to what is to come, I made a trip to the dentist to get my teeth capped. In order to get a print of my teeth, he stuffed my mouth with putty that felt exactly like chewing gum…so much of it and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t spit it out!
3. My views on economics and why I think social benefit as a concept is ridiculous. Robin-Hood (i.e. taking from the rich and giving to the poor) is good to hear in story books but not in an economic sense. Why would you take hard-earned money and give it to those who haven’t earned it? I know everyone doesn’t have the same privileges and the same access to good education, etc. but does that mean that you give it to people who haven’t earned the dues they get? That would only encourage complacency wouldn’t it? I mean look at the US and their sub-prime fiasco! That’s what happens when people don’t understand the worth of what they are getting. Don’t worry about the large strides that India is making and the benefits not filtering down to the grass-roots. There isn’t a switch that would ensure those below the poverty line will also get something if Mr. Mittal is buying a castle in London. Ensure health-care and education are easily accessible, the rest will follow naturally. Freebies, I do not support.

BOREDOM

Hmmm… Life never stops teaching you something new at every stage of your life. I am no exception (although I can’t really claim to have lived enough to reach a stage where I could stop learning new things but…) and recently, after 24 years of more or less fruitless existence, I have learnt the literal meaning of a word that was perhaps unknown to me before. And as much as I would hate to admit it, I have to give Bombay credit for expanding my vocabulary. Never in the 22 odd years, that I have spent in Poona, of which a good part has been spent goofing around with nothing on my hands, have I ever and I mean period, felt the implications of the term to the extent that I do today.
So here I am, 24, in the financial capital of the world, with nothing significant on my plate, and face to face with the term that all mortals on the face of this planet fear – BOREDOM…

A Walk on the Beach...

An ebb and flow of miasmic emotions,

As I revisit my thoughts and my notions,

In the sunset of failed endeavours,

A hope for the future somehow manoeuvres,

Clouded patterns of all my dreams,

A rising tide that within me screams,

A touch of sad wetness in the sands of time,

And a distant view of a contrasting skyline,

Far recesses of my ‘self’ that I reach,

Everytime I take a walk on the beach…

Bikram Wisodm

There is no greater good without a greater evil!

Catch Phrases that are most unlikely to be used by me

1. I am worth my weight in gold!
   (That really wouldn't be worth much now would it?)
2. I'll throw my weight around to try and get some leverage!
   (Honestly, that wouldn't be much of a leverage!)

Why are you still single?

When you are 24 and still single, you know you are doing something wrong. Either that or perhaps there is something completely wrong with you. The worst place to do an analysis of the ongoing tumultuous phase in a single young man’s life is for him to be standing in front of a mirror, half-naked, with a towel draped around him. Well lets face it, if you know it is yours, you cannot dislike what you see right? You could have your ribs sticking out to the extent that you can count them all, right down to the floating rib and yet what you see are those abs that can be counted in the same way and you think to yourself “Ooohhhh…” Alternatively, you could have a ponch that says you’re 6 months pregnant and yet what you see are those gorgeous arms with a bulge for a muscle and then you go “Ooohhhh…”

And yeah, which moron do we know that looks in the mirror and says “Damn, I really look ugly!”

Or “Damn, that is one hideous face!” No one! When you look into the mirror, you go “Well hello beautiful!” and what you see are those streaks of wet hear running across your forehead in a gorgeous curve or if you happen to be bald, you can see fading traces of your hairline reminiscent of Zinedine Zidane! Or if you happen to have straight shaggy hair that just run across your face, you think to yourself “Ah! That’s my Tom Cruise look!” And then you walk away from the mirror thinking “Damn, those women don’t know what they are missing out on!”

~Sigh~

So then you look at your wardrobe. That faded and jaded pair of jeans…oh! Those are the best. They should make any girl go ga-ga! Then you look at the straight fit, brand new look jeans and you think “Now there’s the good boy look! How can a girl ignore that!” and of course there are the array of cargos, chinos, those brilliant corduroys, and lets not even get started on the shirts and the t-shirts! “Damn, those girls really have no sense of fashion!”

Get dressed and another look the mirror tells you, you aren’t looking that bad, a tuck here and little loosening there and the ponch has disappeared, or a little loose T-shirt and no one is the wiser about the number of ribs you have showing. A splash of aftershave and a dash of AXE and you’re ready to tackle the day. One last look at the full length in the mirror and you’re looking like a million bucks (atleast to yourself!)

Since you aren’t able to understand why you’re still single, you seek help from friends and so you ask your best friends (who happen to be girls) and they can’t help you either and so tell you to be patient. So you curse your stars for making you wait so long and then you start looking around to see if you can find some interesting faces around…

So why are you still single?

1. You can’t stop adoring yourself! Look beyond yourself and maybe you will see someone!

2. Clothes do not make a man, get a personality!

3. You’re surrounded by beautiful girls that you can’t seem to term as anything else but a best friend!

4. And you have a roving eye!

Still need a reason?

Bikram Wisodm

If I think I'm intelligent, you think I'm a fool; If I think I'm a fool, you think I'm intelligent. If the only thing that should matter is what I think, then what do you think I am thinking?

A world of my own...

Somewhere not far from where we are,

Must be a world where for each other we care,

Where from each other we never are far,

Where each other as one we share…

There must be a land where I see you every morn,

Where you see me with the same adoration,

Where we watch the sunrise together every dawn,

And each other if we chide, it’s with adulation…

A place where you find solace in my arms,

Where for all my happiness you are the reason,

Where I melt in all your charms,

Where there is love in every season…

Maybe there is this land or maybe there isn’t,

Or maybe it’s in this world, just not now,

But to be in this place, there is nothing that give I wouldn’t,

Cause without you, I’m just lost…and how!

Bikram Wisodm

Life is meaningful when happiness isn't a mere absence of sadness and joy isnt a mere absence of sorrow!

The World Is a Darker Place...

Recent developments have left my world a lot darker than I am used to. I reckon I have only myself to blame though, I am too lazy to do anything about it other than blog on it. I hope that atleast this can get me to act and undo what I have done through utter neglect and downright disregard for the self. Everywhere I look these days, there seems to be a little more darkness than I am used to. Sometimes I do get bugged enough to atleast try and keep it under control and bring things back a little but the effect I know is only temporary. And yet, knowing well that I am the only one who can change the way I have begun perceiving things, I still let myself float aimlessly refusing to take control. Laziness and boredom seem to bog me down as one seems to thrive on the other pushing me further in the denseness of the mirth...
There is just one solution to it, I must one of these days put myself under the knife (or the scissor) and get a barber to shorten my overgrowing mane from covering my eyes...
Hehe...You were expecting something profound, eh?

Running Away

I am driving through long winding roads along the banks of a lake, a canopy of trees over-head and an intermittent view of the lake through the trees as they part away occasionally to reveal the presence of water on the other side. The road is in good shape especially for this season when the sky is overcast and the rains can hit really hard though by their own standards, the rains have been scanty this year. The road is almost devoid of contact with any moving life as the only view I have is of fleeting birds up on the trees as my bike whirrs through the forest. I reckon I am the only human who has come to these parts in a long time, rather surprising for a place so beautiful and only a stone’s throw away from the city. I suppose it’s a little too beautiful and borders on the edge of the eerie, enough to inspire tales of highway masquerades and the occasional ghost stories. I haven’t been to these parts in quite some time myself.
It’s funny, no matter how much I had promised myself, I did let myself get caught up with life. The day I chose to work over-time because I had nothing to look forward to in the rest of the day, was also the day I typed in my resignation letter. After a long time of having immersed myself in work to run away from the pain and heartache, I finally was able to think that evening. When I did, I realized I was becoming every bit the person I had promised myself I wouldn’t be all those years ago. I still remember that late night excursion with my roomies in the by-lanes of Bombay, when I had told them of my elaborate plans in life, ones that did not involve a 9-5 work schedule, ones that did not involve agreeing with the boss just because he was the boss and ones that did not involve a heart-ache. Ironic as my life has been, I have only had myself to blame. Like the trees that now pass me by swiftly, I have always been running away just as swiftly from everyone that ever tried coming close. The first time, the second…always running away for reasons completely unknown to me. Or maybe just reasons that I didn’t want to see. I guess I keep forgetting love isn’t about perfection but about imperfection. I close my eyes and all those wonderful images come rushing back…those times spent over coffee, those first days of courtship, that feeling that surged through my insides when I first saw her, that smile, those eyes. ~sigh~
And THUD! I open my eyes and I can see the sky through the canopy above. There’s a weaver bird’s nest above that looks beautiful even from the bottom. I notice a few squirrels scurrying around. My eyes close again. Once again I am floating through those images of her. That mad time back in college when I couldn’t find a friendship band good enough, so I went and bought her a watch! Those mad long drives that were a result of long boring days in class. Those late night talks over the phone. Sneaking her out of the hostel for coffee. Sneaking into the hostel to wish her on her birthday. And despite it all, walking different ways at the end of it cause we were too scared of ruining it all by coming too close. Funny how neither of us got anywhere without each other. Funny how I was still running away from her on these winding roads…where once we first came together. I open my eyes again and I’m in a car, it looks like my own backseat…yeah, I can see the chocolates I keep on the dashboard too! There's a familiar looking watch hanging from the mirror on the dash...but I still have my jacket on and I am not driving… I close my eyes again.
I wake up in a white room. The ceiling seems too clean to be mine. I see a saline bottle on a stand. I feel the IV pinned into me. I almost close my eyes again but I can feel a familiar squeeze of my hand…I turn around and I see her smiling at me. I return the squeeze, smile back at her and close my eyes again. I can’t run away this time…

It's my first attempt at a short story...be gentle!

Bikram Wisodm

1. Of all the strangers I have known, I am the strangest!

2. The most intelligent people are those who make us feel intelligent!

Groping...

A world of contrasts that we live in,

Surrounded by karma and acts of sin,

Where one man’s good deed,

Is another's act of greed,

So much said and even more heard,

Of search for clarity where everything is blurred,

Where we’re caught between deep oceans and mountains towering high,

And in the little patch of land in between, we learn to smile and sigh,

Of all that we know and some more that we don’t,

Some things that we’ll accept and some more that we won’t,

Where someone finding love means someone finding heartache,

And everything we know was built on give and take,

Some struggle to find roof and a square meal a day,

Whilst others can own islands, just so they may feel gay,

Where a pauper finds happiness though he is hungry and penniless,

And the richest man can’t spend enough to make his world painless,

Where the good are good, only cause there’s bad,

And happiness is a relative state of existence, to otherwise being sad,

Yet despite it all, with a new hope every day we awaken,

And of this confused old world, new sense we’re tryin to be makin…