Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Misunderstandings Theory

I was wondering why we fight so much with the people we love most...is it the burden of expectations that drives us to the limit causing tensions to flare?
Well, sort of. I think, the reason for misunderstandings and the resulting tensions, is a lack of understanding. As we get closer to people, we learn more about them. After a certain point, we start simulating their behavior in our mind, expecting and foretelling what they might or perhaps, ought to do! And when the results of the simulation are not quite the same as the reactions in real time, there are disagreements and arguments.
I believe, in a relationship, the degree of comfort shared is directly proportional to the amount of error we provide for in our simulations. In other words, the amount of freedom we are willing to give. The lesser the expectations, the better is it. The thing is, we can never hope to fully understand another human, no matter how long you've known them because we are such complicated beings.
Is it a wonder then, that the most comfortable relationships are those that are casual and have tons of space and the least amount of expectations?

18 comments:

Eccentricallyquirky said...

Love guru you got it bang on... Will take your advice.. I really am going to.. Cut on my sentimentalism first... :D

Sneha said...

100% agree with you.:)

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

@Swayam:> ~sigh~ Loveguru? Tch tch...that tag isnt too auspicious you know...all loveguru's end up hermits!
:D

@Sneha:> :) I agree 100% with the fact that you agree with me a 100%!
:D

Ria said...

wow!!what an analysis....really liked what u hav written. :) And totally agree with u on this one.

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

:)

Psy said...

For once you make sense.
:P

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

Hey, I always make sense! It's a different story altogether that the rest of mankind doesn't see the same sense as I do!
Hehehe...

cute n confused said...

so damn true!!! i think ur calling is understanding human relationships, and making the rest of us dum-assess understand them! :)

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

@Cutey:> Hehe...Osho already has an ashram in Pune...very close to where I live! I dont think the city can afford a second!

Sorcerer said...

hmm..Learning curve..that is!!

err..dont take it personal.. i just stumbled across your blog found it good.

wrote comment as the first thing that came to my mind!

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

@The Sorcerer:> For starters, I'm glad I could contribute to your curve...(and I mean it in a completely non-article-377-invoking-way!)

Then, you stumbling across my blog, is in no measure an invasion of my privacy...it is a public blog after all.

Finally, I am, by my own admission, a narcissist...so, (although there was no need for it in the first place,) apology accepted!

Dr Supriya said...

Very rightly said.. Expectation is the root cause of everything..

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

:)
And so I have tried to locate the roots of expectation!

Anonymous said...
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Subodh said...

your best work bika

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

My best work...YET!
:D
Hehehe...

Bluebutterfly said...

best of the theories atleast !
Really made sense though...
Thank you for the answer to a very important question.

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

:)
Thank you!
:)