Remorse

I don’t remember a day without a conflict inside

The long debates between breaking the rules and the choice to abide

The results have always varied and I’ve been neither good nor bad

Always guilty though, of choosing whatever makes me glad

To think deeper, it seems the results have varied with age

From foolish ideals to egotistic rage

I thought I’d be wiser now, making saner choices

That with experience, I’d heed the right voices

To look at my present, I’d have thought I was right

But with my perspective, everything looks different in hindsight

What would I be, I ask, without the choices I made

Just another cherishing his memories, while his dreams slowly fade

As summer gets washed away in the torrents of this monsoon

An old man stares at me, eyes glazed with a pall of gloom

The leaves rustle in the wind and his attention is drawn

I think he is reminiscing, all that is gone

‘I know I won’t end up like him,’ I promise my youth

There will be no remorse and the promise of tomorrow, will always be good

The rain comes pouring down as I turn my attention to the numbers on my screen

And I’m an old man, reminiscing those long walks in the rain, that once had been.