King Nothing

These days, every time someone asks me what I am upto these days, my response remains the same, i.e. “I am having the time of my life, things couldn’t get any better than they are at the moment.” A friend of mine somehow does not quite subscribe to the same point of view as me. Somehow, the concept of lying at home without work and no pay does not exactly make for a very happy living now does it? Moreover, I do not even have a girlfriend. Now tell me, how in the right frame of mind could I be happy. In her words, “What the heck do you have that makes you so happy?”
So, I pondered over and began thinking what exactly it was that made me so shamelessly happy. No job, so no real worries with deadlines or nervy bosses at the end of their patience at every single moment of their pathetic existance. No girlfriend, so no real worries about having to meet someone every other day or going out on a date or buying gifts, nor do i have to worry about that sneaky look that I just passed to the hot chick who responded likewise. No pay, so I really do not have to worry about how much income tax I have to pay. I do not smoke or drink or do drugs so I do not have to worry about getting my daily dose of the three famous vices. (I am still a virgin so you can cancel out that option too you perverts!) I am not quite ambitious so I really do not worry about where my life is leading me to next. I have a bike that gives me an average of about 80 kmpl and when needed can reach upto 90 kph with frighteningly powerful acceleration so I do not have to worry too much about fuel either…
Hmm… did someone say ignorance is bliss? I would say so is emptiness! Well anyway, I responded to her with a quick remark (after this whole thought processed through the three pounds of crap in my cranium) and said “Tell me what is it I have that would make me unhappy!”
Well believably, she was quite frustrated at my audacity and after another failed attempt to make me realize the virtues of making something meaningful of my life, she bestowed upon me the title of King Nothing…