BIKRAM WISODM

"Fear the insane who will disbelieve an equation...for they are either foolish or sheer genius!"

ADIOS MUMBAI!

You know what, there are another 24-odd days left in my tryst with city of dreams, Mumbai... It's almost over now...and almost a time to reminisce...almost...
When I look back though, there have been a very few take-aways for me from my time here... before I joined, I had thought, knowing my years-old tussle with the city, that if i were at a point when I'd be leaving the city, I'd be sad and possibly overwhelmed. (Yes Lehar, I did think so but sadly, no such emotions crossed me today.) I'm almost happy to be leaving. Despite not having a job at the end of the course, I'm still not displeased. Apprehensive about my future, yes...very much so...but not disappointed.
Funny, 24 days...it's a countdown that I dreaded so much in every one of the previous institutions I have been a part of, even Thermax...yet, here...now...there is a sense of relief...an emotion that is new to me. Yes, obviously i shall miss some of the friends I have made over the past year but I am most disappointed that I will be leaving one person behind...someone whom I've been without for a long time now...
It's so bad, I tried looking back and writing a poem...and I couldnt even put down one line...

A Morose Poem...

Many years, don't just pass away in as many days,
I've tried, so many things, in so many ways,
What has passed, I've wanted to make it the past,
For some reason, that I do understand, it will, forever last...

There've been gales, not just 'winds of change,'
Changing everything...but not this...and it isn't even strange,
I stand here, consumed, by all that has been,
The greatest joy...and the greatest sorrow, I've already seen...

I smile, the proverbial cover for my frown,
I know it doesn't fool anyone, they've all seen me drown,
I've probably hurt those that stand with me now,
Yet, everyday, they're still there, dunno why, dunno how...

I am alive, only when I dream,
It's always the same one, you...me...our feet in the stream,
I stand still, the world around me still moving forth,
They carry me along, for whatever they see worth...

I look up, the ones that matter seem hurt, yet for me, they still smile,
They've never left me alone, been there all the while,
I wanna reach out now, but it's almost too late,
I can see indifference in those eyes, neither love now, nor hate...

I look away, I go back to where it's still easy to hide,
It's just a memory...or maybe a dream...dunno...but you're still beside...

(Don't ask me why this is here...I dunno...Poems are just morose...like they say, 'Don't blame the player, blame the game!' I'm gonna quit writing poems soon...)

WOW BLOGGING!!!

I was talking to a friend of mine and I was pestering him for some constructive criticism on some piece I had written. I always pester him for comments...not that I dont pester others...but was irritated with why I always am eager for comments and feedback...he reckons the satisfaction should lie in writing something not what others think of it...so here's what I said to him...
"If I write something I don't want people to read, I'll write it in my diary...if I am writing something in a public domain, it is for people to read...what good is anything I write if there isn't someone to read it besides me? And if I am writing for people to read it, I need to know what they think of it! If they like it, only then will I write...if they don't, I might well retire to writing in my little black book!"
I have 6 blogs now...6! Each one has atleast one reader...some are just written for just one reader...but there is someone to read it...if no one is going to read it, why would I write?
My point, as always, is simple...please leave a comment!

My 'Oh God!' Neighbours...

I have these neighbours...
(ummm...yeah, I'm sure you are well aware of the said species...)
We aren't really social with each other...
(ummm...yeah, I'm sure you are well aware of this behavior too...)
I haven't seen them in a year either...
(ummm...yeah, I'm sure you have been through the same...)
Last night, they had a party at their place
(and yes, we weren't invited...but that's not what this is about either...)
There was loud music and by the looks of things, a bunch of people were there too...
(and no, this isn't what this is about either...)
Today morning, the raddi-wallah was over to pick up old newspapers and well, it generally takes a long time for him to sort the papers in a bundle, tie them and weigh them...
(yes, i'm getting there...patience!)
While he was doing that, my neighbours had the local grocer deliver them some things...the bill was some 270/- and the woman handed him a 1000 rupee note...the poor delivery boy was having a little trouble giving her the 730/- change...he said he doesn't have it and she says "Oh God! We always buy from you...take the money and get me the change next time..."
Now in any other context that wouldn't really be a problem for me at all...trouble was of course, the whole facade she put up so some guy came up and paid the bill...I probably wouldn't be blogging about this at all but what got me was the "Oh God!" part...that was just too fake...and the other guy who came to pay the bill...no points for guessing why he popped in...

My thawing Brain

I think I don't use my mind often enough and so it freezes every other time...why do I say so? Well, everytime I'm giving an exam, no matter if I have already emptied my bladder, during the test, there is a build up of pressure invariably...I don't understand where all the water comes from. More than the test, I'm then concerned about the bursting dam. I have to keep arguing with myself, convincing me that I should hold out just a little while more...5 minutes...10minutes...~sigh~
I bet my frozen brain thaws during tests...

A simple moment that forever does last,
The greatest emotions expressed in stark contrast,
Smiling so the world don't see the fears,
In great happiness, come tumbling down the tears...

Behaviour that's integrally irrational,
Nothing that is as is, is ever substantial,
A little hypocrisy inherent in all,
Before standing, the urge to fall...

A whole bunch that in pursuit of happiness lie slain,
And then there are others happily married to the pain,
With a little good and a little bad that it's rife,
This experience that us humans love to call life...

3 days...11 coffees...i need to check into rehab!
:P

Married to Unhappiness

Yeah I am sure there are a lotta people who're thinking 'That's obvious! He always has been!' but I am not talking about myself. I am talking about everyone at large here!

We humans value pain more than we value comfort. When your days come to an end and when you're reminiscing about the life gone by, your most treasured memories will be from a time when everything was wrong. From all those times, you'll have learnt your lessons in life...from the times that you were happy, you'll have learnt nothing.

I wanted to write a poem on the plethora of emotions that I as a person go through so I tried listing down these emotions. On one side were the positive emotions and on the other were the negative emotions. I started with the negative emotions first. I had penned down 6 in 6 seconds...then I proceeded to the positive emotions...it took me 6 minutes to get past 4!

Maybe some people would find it easier to pen down the positive emotions...I hope there are those. But as far as I can tell, most will have the same trouble as me. We humans are married to the pain...makes us feel alive...

BIKRAM WISODM

"When you achieve all you set out to achieve, your greatest achievement isn't what you have...you realise it was what you began with!!!"

A Touch of Disappointment

Some of you may remember a few months ago I had, with your feedback and help, entered a few of my poems for a poetry contest...unfortunately though, nothing has come to fruition of that effort...

I am obviously disappointed and more so because i could've used the cash prize they're giving!
:P

Well nonetheless, nothing goes according to plan...if it did, the expression 'LIFE! ~sigh~' might stand the danger of being lost to the annals of history, as of today though, it continues to be in parlance...
~SIGH~

BIKRAM WISODM

There are two kinds of people, the first who are near-sighted, their joys lie in the little stuff...the other who are far-sighted, their joys lie in the big matter...the near-sighted are so blind, they don't know where their joys lie even when they are standing on it...the far-sighted are so blind, by the time they reach what they once thought was their joy, they see their joy in the distance...and so it is thus, that one set of people move from one day to the next, floundering, not knowing where to go, finding their joy in what happened yesterday...the other set know where they want to be so well, that when they move from one day to the next, they're already looking at the day beyond...and so lies today forgotten...any takers?