Older than I wanna be

I think I'm older now than I wanna be
For I spend too much time thinking of what has been
For I think too little now, of all my dreams
For the little joys now are just as little as to the others they seem
For I've learnt the polite smile and given up bursting from my seams
For when I think of her now I no longer gleam
For she too has become another memory that I've confused with a dream
For I wish now I could turn the clock and undo parts of what has been
And be back to a time when I could close my eyes and be sitting there, my feet dipping in the stream...