The chronicles of coffee…

I have an adverse reaction to coffee. I really lose sleep if I have had coffee anytime in the day and then I cannot sleep at night. Well, I have now been banned from coffee and here is the reason why…

Yesterday, I was kinda hungry in the morning cause I hadn’t had breakfast and then instead of havin something to eat, I decided to have coffee… and then another one… Big mistake… Well, I was really in tune for the exam I had but the trouble started after that. I was already feeling the effects and was really light headed. Well I also said some things to some people that I probably shouldn’t have. But that’s another story altogether.

While at the hostel in the evening at around 1 a.m. had the craving for paan. So I rounded up these guys and the four of us were on our way to juhu. Once there, we had paan and sat down chatting till about 130 when the cops chased us away. Well, my dear friend Anthony suggested we go to Bandra Bandstand instead. Jaggi was in his own parallel dimension and before he knew what was happening we were all packed in the ric. (funny thing too, at 330 while we were walking down carter road, Jaggi says he remembers Anthony saying something about putting him in the ric before he realized it… Wow a two hour delay before a reaction was evoked! Talk about being lost!)

Anyways, Bandra wasn’t much help either. Walking down the promenade, the cops chased us away again. Then Anuj remembers he had coffee at CCD, Carter Road at 3 in the morning and that it is open till 4! So, once again, tempted by coffee, we decided to walk down to Carter. (and we also had coffee from these unique coffee vendors of Mumbai. These guys travel around with a huge kettle of milk on bicycles selling tea coffee and smokes. Really, these guys are a blessing. Dunno what the night life in Mumbai would have done without these guys to keep them awake!)

Well I must admit, Bandra is really beautiful, especially at night. The beautiful catholic bungalows still standing with an old world charm about them. Haven’t seen a more beautiful set up in Mumbai yet. Well, maybe not as beautiful as the marine drive but comparable nonetheless. And as we walked on for the next hour or so, we talked about movies, the problems in Kashmir, plans about quitting the first job and backpacking on a euro trip, buying your first BMW 7 Series and going off on a road trip through India and how quickly these three months have passed us by.

And we eventually reached Carter road and walked the 999m from one end to the other for the coffee shop. Well, if you haven’t guessed by the turn of events of the evening yet, let me tell you that CCD was closed and that they close at 1 a.m. Mr. Anuj Tagra, GSAT… so 4 a.m., Carter road, and four hungry guys. Next destination? How about Bade Miyans at Lands End?

Well thankfully, we ended up going back to Vile Parle and had coffee outside Cooper Hospital. We were back in the hostel premises at 430 and were in bed at 5… oh and needless to say, Anuj has banned me from ever having coffee again, period…

STORY OF MY LIFE

(for all my buddies from back home in pune… and a few new ones here in Mumbai… cant live without you…)

There are so many stories to tell,
All those days of careless fun,
So many memories that make my heart swell,
Those days spent out in the sun.

Long drives with all my pals,
Long chats with all those friends,
Those crushes on cute gals,
Walking with ‘em to lands end.

That hand I held for one last time,
Still wonder if I was wrong,
When I bid her farewell with just one line,
Amd walked away with a sad love song.

Then I fell in love again,
So much that has come and gone,
With life, myself and all my friends,
So much that must still be won.

This is the story of my life,
And I write it everyday,
And I hope that you are by my side,
When I am on the last page…

(a short lived obituary… hehehe… punny eh???)

Obituary...

This used to be the one place i used to come to find myself completely energised and refreshed. No longer do i see the same effect here nor is writing a pleasing task to me anymore. All i have posted in the past few days has been depressing and dark. After long contemplation and about three second thoughts, i reckon the time has come to lay this blog to rest, atleast temporarily till i can find my love for writing again. MBA sucks, as does Mumbai... There i said it...

Well anyways, my blog has started feeling redundant to me. I am getting bored of it now. I don’t see the point anymore. Why write at all? Few bother to read it and with good reason too. How boring is it to read the ramblings of another individual? I think it is time this space found itself an obituary. So here goes:

“Here lies a part of Bikram Snehi’s life. A place where he tried his hand at the concept of writing and was moderately successful. This space has provided a glimpse of his thoughts and his life. Another chapter in his endless search of life and his resolve to live a hundred lives in one. In this space lies one of those hundred lives, his memories and a part of his soul. He shall be dearly missed by some and plain missed by others.”

In short, I wanna move on beyond the blog for now. Again, I might revisit this thought of mine in another few hours and decide to continue writing because it is so much a part of me. Yet, for some unknown reason, I did not find a meaning to continue writing today.

Deeply aggrieved at my own loss,

BIKRAM SNEHI… still mulling over my thoughts…

(I welcome you to post your obituaries here too should you so feel the urge... And please do not try to get me back to writing again, it is inevitable that i shall return but how long before such an eventuality, I am unsure. So until then, RIP...)

Infinity

Looking at the horizon I ponder over life,

I wonder why everything I do seems to bring strife,

I realize now I am way too complicated,

If only I could only understand that my destination has already been fated,

My life and its problems seem so trivial,

When I see the waves screaming all jovial,

I wanna escape to a world of serenity,

Away from the finite joys in this life and into the world of infinity…

goodbye my lover...

(these are divine lyrics that i so wish i had composed. yet, they lie immortalised by james blunt. at 2 in the night as i sit all alone with these words being crooned in my ears and an economics book in front of me, i am teleported to a time not so long ago. these lyrics do well to summarise my thoughts and situation in that period. if you haven heard the song, do get your hands on it and listen to those divine words in that divine tune... and i would appreciate it if you wouldnt comment on this at all... anyone... i am so hollow baby, im so, im so, hollow...)

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I need to take a long run on the beach...

A zest for life is coming back to me,
I am everything i ever wanted to be,
I dont need wings to take me high,
I just feel that today I can fly,
I just am so glad i had a conversation today,
With my friends from so far away,
I realised how much i have transformed,
From being the carefree soul who left everyone charmed,
But no more shall i disappear into a world of my own,
This world I live in is more beautiful and it i must adorn,
I know i must break out and pick up what i had begun,
Cause all the people around me are missing out on the fun,
And guys i am thankful and am greatful to you for being there for me, near or afar,
Am thankful to you for letting nothing else matter and holding me so close, no matter how far!!!

My Friends, farewell...

I don't think I have ever mentioned any names on my blog yet and today I am making an exception... I should probably have put this up the day you left but ever since I have realised I shall be bidding farewell to you, Rahul, and Appu, for a long time to come, I have only felt very hollow deep inside. Everytime I think about putting my thoughts in words, I am overwhelmed by all those memories, those late night dinners, those sit outs at e-square and a million other memories that I hold very close to my heart. I know that neither of you will read this blog much less this post but I want to say I love you guys, all of you. I love you for being there and guiding me through those dark days. I love you for showing me the light when all I saw was darkness. I love you for giving me strength when all i saw was weakness. I love you for caring for me more than I could ever care for myself. I love you for everything. I love you for nothing. I shall love you guys, all of you, Sarthak, Aperna, Avinash, Krupa and more than anyone else, you Rahul, till my dying day... You are a part of me that is being torn away but i shall not let life take the joy. I shall hold onto those memories and your friendship for my lifetime and possibly beyond. I love all you guys from the bottom of my heart... I shall miss you more than i miss my mind... I leave these lines here for you...

"It was not the moments of joy, nor the moments of strife,
It was the moments I spent with YOU, in which I lived my life."

and Rahul, this ones especially for you:

"We never care, we never bother,
No matter the joys, no matter the strife,
We live together, we die together,
Bad boys for LIFE."

Wrong Numbers!!!

You know how you get random people dialling the wrong number and then irritating you to death before they realise it is the wrong number??? How sometimes you wish they would have the decency to check the number before they dialled it??? How you wish they would just hang up before escalating matters further??? Well i do... I get many wrong numbers and then spend ages trying to tell them that it is a wrong number and in the back of my mind, i wish they wouldn't bother with all the talk and simply hang up...
Well, I thought wrong... I had never imagined how rude it might get to be hung up on the face. How discourteous it might be too! But I realise that now... I had dialled for a friend and well have three different numbers stored in the phone book so when i diallied it from my call list i didn't check the number. Well, it wasn't her when the call was received and as soon as I realised that, I assumed it was an Airtel screw up and so hung up... Unfortunately for me, it was her mother. That really must have been rude to have somebody slam the face on you so discourteously. (I did say sorry but it was rather a formality and very fake...)
Damn, what a dumbass idiot I can be at times. I should have realised my folly when I was speaking to her. I didnt and i hung up! Feeling really mortified... Should have called her up again to apologise but then thought that would be even dumber and didn't. Next time i dial up the wrong number, I am gonna have a long conversation before I hang up... And I really, really, really apologise to my friend and her mother for the inconvinience I have caused...
(If its possible, I am all red with embarrassment and have a really sodden smile on my face right now... Thank God you cannot see my face through this blog!!!)