Monday, July 13, 2009

Come to think of it, it's HILARIOUS!

When you've been kissed by a speeding truck, you tend to play those moments over and over again...especially when you manage to escape unscathed. (Touchwood...thank you dear Lord!) I was sitting on a bridge over a little river with the wind in my head and the whole scene ran again through my mind and I replayed all the thoughts running through my head in those moments. Here's what went through my head right then -
(I was returning home after watching the movie 'Transformers-Revenge of The Fallen')
"...why are people mad about that yellow car? I know it looks cool and is limited edition but no heritage...I'd much rather have a, wait...a Rolls...yeah right...get off your broke, unemployed butt and then we can talk..."
"Right turn, indicator on...keep your thumb there to turn it off later..."
(I look in my rear-view mirror and see a truck in the distance. I move from the left to the center of the road. I look at the truck again to make sure he is far away and he is. I see the Tata logo and I chuckle,)
"Imagine if Optimus Prime were a Tata truck...hehe...hilarious!" 
"The road's clear ahead, time to turn..."
"Crap...Idiot...why overtake from the right?"
"Shit...Damn...I don't wanna spend the next 6 months in the hospital..."
"July again? Why do I always have a major accident every July?"
(I hit the tarmac...and my head hits the road hard too...)
"Hehehe...Full faced helmet...worth spending all that money on! Why are people stingy with their safety I don't understand. It's probably saved me a lotta injuries...remember that ad, coconut, hammer and helmet wala? Nice...saved my life again did that ad! God bless whoever made it!"
"Hmmm...God...GOD...I didn't disapprove of You or doubt Your existance! I was wondering what form You exist in...aren't You the egotist! Ok, ok, apologies...I know I don't have to restrict You to any form...I just like playing with such metaphysical ideas, You know that..."
"Let go of the bike now...Don't worry my love, I love you loads, it's best for both of us right'd think I'm breaking up with her! Well, technically, we both are breaking up together, just hopefully not into too many pieces!"
"Dumbass, wheels...crouch...yikes...pull your legs in...nice...close..."
"Damn pair right? Once again...friggin have to break in every pair with a fall. Hope I haven't torn them..."
"Get the number of the truck...MH-14-damn...I'm flipping 360...dude, how does it matter now? No one's gonna prosecute him anyways. Dumb legal system...well, not-so-dumb, I like it the way it is...a few loop-holes here and there are fine, I can live with that. A water-tight draconian legal system would be unbearable. India shining, the way it is!"
(The fall complete, the skidding over...)
(The first thing I can see is my bike...)
"Am I alive? Or is this the afterlife? No, I'm alive...I still see her lying down there...this can't be the after life."
(I stand up, my floaters are half out of my feet. I almost stumble back to the road with my first step...)
"Am I 'Unbreakable,' you know like Bruce Willis in that movie? That would be nice!" 
(My mind reboots...)
(My thumb suddenly is hurting and I see it completely red with blood streaming down like out of a faucet...)
"Where the heck is all that blood coming from? Do I have that much inside me?"
"Damn I'm gonna have to hear more lectures on how I can't drive...wonder what I did wrong this time though..."
(I go to my bike, push it to the side. There are a couple of motorisits that stop and are like - 'Dude! That was like so lucky man! The truck hit you and you came so close to the wheels man! Friggin lucky!')
(I smile, say thanks as he helps me start the bike, check the bike for damages, see she is still drivable, get astride her, it's some 200 metres to home...Look at the guy, he says, 'are you alright man? You wanna take a moment and sit down?' I shrug him off, say I'm fine, wonder what my folks would say and start driving back home...)


Lost in Translation said...

so what did they say? ..hehe

And the blood part.. everything allrite?

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

They're doting parents...they didn't say anything...they were just glad I returned in one piece!

Fangs said...

dude... fricking scary...

tke care of your scrawnly lil ass..

ill call tomorrow..

hulosona said...

:P don't love your bike anymore!! get some 'real' love man!!! grow up:)

One thing, i guess you liked that accident, didn't u?.... i don't know but that was my feeling... so close to death,now, that's an experience.. what do u say?

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

@Rohan:> Hehe...i'm trying man...i'm trying!

@Hulosona:> Trust me man, i didn't like it one bit! But i've learned to laugh with can't brood over what's happened, you'll never smile for long if you do...
I just found my sequence of thoughts funny in's amazing how much the mind can think of in a matter of maybe 30 seconds...phenomenal i say...

thusspakerono said...

'kissed' by a truck...LoL...I liked the way you put it

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

@Rono:> Yeah man, 'kissed'...the other outcome would've been 'FUCKED' and i probably wouldn't have been writing about it...