Fooled by Love

WOW… I cannot believe I am writing this. For starters because I would be the last person to talk about being mature in love but I suppose as you grow older, experiences teach you a thing or two about life. I have recently been flooded by news of heartbreaks and new affairs all laced in tons of confusion and absolute madness. After long and detailed thought about what I might write here, I finally remembered this title that my stats professor had talked about. It’s a book called ‘Fooled by Randomness’ and is supposedly a very candid and sarcastic take on a lot of capital issues and how random their behavior is, how after much indepth research and analysis, the experts are brought down by complete and utter random behavior. This of course is much the same in case of love. Hence the apt title- ‘Fooled by Love.’

Love, (ironically coming from me) is highly over-rated. In fact, the people in the age group of 16-30 are so desperate to fall in love, they forget that they have a life to contend with too. So madly do they fall in love that there is absolutely no scope to continuing a normal existence governed by simplicity. So many believe that love is understood by them and is all about whether or not two people want to spend their lives in the company of each other. Yeah sure. If it were that simple, common sense wouldn’t be so uncommon.

The trouble lies at the root of all the relationships i.e. at the very beginning. People fail to understand that before you get into a relationship, you have to lay down the basic groundwork and a foundation built on the understanding of where you are heading and what your options are in the long run. I know it is stupid to be considering marriage after (or before) even the first date. Isn’t it obvious though, that such a discussion is absolutely essential to determining a successful and peaceful relationship? I have seen so many fall for each other despite knowing the obstacles that lie ahead of them and then later struggling to come to terms with their situations which of course snow-balls into a bad case of heart-break and heart-ache. Many go ahead with an attitude of ‘jo hoga, dekha jayega.’ Nahi boss, aise nahi chalta hai zindagi mein. You must consider your backgrounds first and foremost. You must essentially be able to understand the views your parents hold on the subject because no matter what you think, your parents are the ones who understand every bone of your character and will stand by you through thick and thin. They also know what is best for you and even if they don’t, it takes a very mature individual to tackle the situation tactfully. Sorry to admit it but in my young existence I have seen few and far between who might be capable of doing that.

Another thing to understand is of course the fact that the relationship might fail despite everything else falling in place. The groundwork might be perfect for the two of you but it still wouldn’t work out because essentially for any situation in life to work, there has to be some piece of imperfection. We humans are governed by an affinity towards imperfections. To state an example, what would you prefer listening to, a playlist which always plays songs in a particular sequence or one which uses a shuffle function to introduce randomness? The need to be mature enough to be prepared for unexpected twists and turns in love goes without saying.

To conclude, I suppose I would be telling you how important it is to be able to clearly define what you have and what you are getting into before you take that first step. To be able to clearly lay a path that you might tread and establish unshakeable faith in each other is quintessential to a successful and stress-free relationship. Yet, I admit there is every possibility of a relationship working out smoothly despite breaking all norms and being solely based on each other. Well, eventually in life we all are at some point or the other, “FOOLED BY LOVE.”