I close my eyes hoping to see you in a dream,
But I don’t, all I see is me by a stream,
I sit on the bank with my feet dipping in,
I twinkle my toes and send the water ripplin,
I thought this was where things happened by my will,
When just a visit could all my emptiness fill,
But I feel the same even though I’m here,
The solitude’s a little too heavy for me to bear,
I wish so much that you’d find me and end my strife,
So that tomorrow I may wake up to the first day of the rest of my life…

High 5!

The bluebutterfly tagged me yet again...This time it's a high 5!

Q> List 5 things that you want to say to people but never will. Don’t say who they are.

1.> I love you mom and dad…I’d be nothing without you. (I’m still a guy so I know I wont say this to them…)

2.> You’re my best friend. Lighthouse in the storm of my life… more than 20 years now! God you have patience!

3.> I fell in love with you the day I saw you and even then I knew it was doomed…

4.> I wish I’d met you earlier…wish the story of my life wouldn’t be “Right place, wrong time…” with you.

5.> I never let go of any of my friends…you wont escape either…try me!

Q>Five Things I’d Love to Do before I Die:

1.> Fly a MIG 25 FOXBAT

2.> Gift my dad a BMW 7 Series

3.> Gift my mum a huge house in Patna

4.> Publish my works, either a collection of my poems or my autobiography

5.> Make you proud of having known me!

Q>Five Things I Will Not Do Even If It Kills Me:

1.> Enter politics

2.> Spend my days in a 9 to 9 job at the cost of my dreams

3.> Quit writing poems

4.> Propose!

5.> Sing and dance simultaneously in public!

Q>Five Things I Do When I’m Away From The Public:

1.> Dig my nose

2.> Scratch myself

3.> Sleep

4.> Write

5.> Think about my folks

Q>Five Favorite Sentences (most often used):

1.> Pleased to meet you (ask my friends, they’d tell you!)

2.> I’m Bikram

3.> I love POONA

4.> I love my bike

5.>

(Yeah the blank is for all the times that I choose to hear rather than speak…)

Q>Five Things I’ll Make You Wish You Didnt Do, If You Did:

Ummm… I can’t think of any… I am a little too liberal to say anything to anyone. “To each their own.”

5 people I tag:

1.> Saurabh
2.> Lehar
3.> Saira
4.> Bikram
5.> Mahi
5.> Ferrin
5.> Anirudh
5.> Rohan


Yeah so I'm bad at math...sue me!

My life, My rules

For me there are no grays, just black and white,

Whatever I do, must always be right,

I do what needn’t be justified, to me above all else,

Mine’s the way that works when all else fails…

 

I am the voice of logic, in a world of confusion,

The antithetical view that’ll always find reason,

A calm exterior that hides a world of turbulence,

A million ideas that within my mind reach a confluence…

 

The biggest decisions in life, always impulsive,

A life so driven by truth, it’s almost compulsive,

Never would I stop trying to reinvent the wheel,

Cause I’d do better is what I feel…

 

Why are you surprised by the way my life does unfurl,

So what if I make your head swirl,

The way I live is not for fools,

This is my life, I live by my rules…

Hmmm...I have chinese take-away for dinner, spend most of my day in a classroom and the only female voice I hear on my phone is the automatic announcement saying "The airtel you are trying to reach is currently busy, please call after some time...to leave a voice message, dial * followed by the number..."

~sigh~

I need a life...

From the archives...

Something that someone googled to read today and read on my blog...
http://bikramsnehi.blogspot.com/2007/01/prized-possessions.html

Lost is the age of innocence...

I was going through some old photographs in one of the old albums lying around (and I must say, flipping through photographs manually is a lot more fun than having a million pics on your laptop and changing slides...but that's not the point.) I found a ton of photographs of a lot of my childhood friends from a time when the cares of the world were unknown to us. You know what is the most intriguing aspect of those pics? Their eyes. They were honest and absolutely flowing with whatever emotion they had in them. They were overflowing with an innocence that over the years life seems to have taken away from them. Oh! How I long to be among them once again in that time. Love, careers, politics, betrayals, jealousy and the entire gamut of life that has robbed them of all that they were.

But then again, I guess that's life right?

I wonder if that's happened to me too? Nah...I'm too naive for that!

Why am I still single?

When you are 24 and still single, you understandably spend a lot of time trying to analyse why it is that you are still single. Sometimes, you wonder if you are just plain unattractive but then you bump into people who are slightly worse off than you and so not single. At other times, you wonder if maybe women find you just too boring but then again, you remind yourself of the innumerable buffoons you know that couldnt strike an intelligent conversation who most definitely aren't single. Then sometimes you wonder if it's because you are unavailable but then if you were, you wouldn't be asking yourself why you are still single right? Then again, you sometimes wonder if you are gay which you reassure yourself you aren't because you definitely are into women...

So then why is it that I am still single?

I think it has something to do with the fact that

a) I was in a nursery school exclusively for boys (of course, since then it has become co-ed but that wasn't the case whilst 'I' was there...)

b) I went to 2 of the best schools in Pune which unfortunately enough for me, were both boy's schools. (and no, neither of them is co-ed even now)

c) I studied mechanical engineering in a class of 57 boys...

Hmmm...do you see a pattern here? Well if you do, I must say you are wrong. I know a ton of people who have done the same things as me and are most definitely not single...so that begs the question again, why am I still single? Any answers anyone?

Of Greatness in Men...

"Bikram Wisodm : Men are great whence they have risen but rise they shan’t lest they have fallen…"

It’s true. Look through the pages of history and you will find that all who have risen have risen after falling. Perhaps what binds these men and women is the common chord of the hardships they have faced. It may be a slightly pitiful line of thought but I truly believe that the reason they conquered and achieved what they could not only for themselves but for all the others that have benefitted was because of these turbulent times. The pain and the turbulence go a long way in teaching lessons in life that cannot be taught and must be learnt the hard way, helping them understand themselves in ways they never guessed they could, helping them reach depths of emotion that unlock the far reaches of their mind that they did not know existed. It’s true when they say you don’t know what you’ve got until you’ve lost it. I do believe that you gain more by losing than you could’ve hoped to have if you’d always had it. One of those ironies of life.

Take me for example…if it hadn’t been for my loss, I probably would never have been the poet that I have become. To write a poem, I have come to understand that I must feel very strongly about the subject at hand and be in touch with myself in ways that others cannot be. It just gives you another perspective that cannot be found otherwise. Unfortunately for me, it seems I have gotten so deeply involved with myself that I can’t seem to write anything but a rhyme. As a matter of fact, even as I was writing this, I felt I might have been able to put across my thoughts better if I had written a poem instead…

Right Place, Wrong Time

Lived till now, the way I deem,

My life better than it is, couldn’t have been,

Whatever I’ve done has never worked to plan,

And that’s what’s made it perfect, my lifespan,

Never have I done what I should’ve been doing,

An alternate world that my mind’s always brewing,

Always by accident that I’ve veered on course,

Always a mistake that for all my joys is a source,

Never a regret ‘cause this is perfect, this is mine,

The story of my life – right place, wrong time!

A Breath of Fresh Air

I was feeling down in the dumps,

My life seemed to have too many bumps,

Lonely and forlorn, pain upon myself I wrought,

Each passing day, more sadness to me brought,

I lost hope and lay resigned to fate,

I sank slowly under a heavy heart’s weight,

My eyes for the world grew increasingly cynic,

A wrecked ship in the storm my life did mimic,

Just when I was convinced life to me was unfair,

She's walked into my life like a breath of fresh air…

Legend in an Epic ver 2.0

Never a reason always a rhyme,

Something new every other time,

Living in way that's nothing but poetic,

I am a legend and this is my epic...

Legend in an Epic

My sheltered life was once opened to the world,

In less than a flash, a lot at me it hurled,

A storm that waltzed through all the calm,

My life’s control was snatched outta my palm,

Confused I stood like a deer caught in the headlights,

My spirit softened, I seemed to be losing my fights,

In the turbulence though I found new freedom,

I stumbled in love and discovered it’s wisdom,

I found my strength in someone else,

Discovered new courage that within me always dwells,

Friendships forged that brought in a new essence,

Showed me a new way of learning all my lessons,

As slowly things were brought back into focus,

Once again I could define my own locus,

I learnt of all those battles that within me were fought,

When I was on both the sides and in between I was caught,

Family and friends that guided me through,

As they stood by me, the strength in me grew,

Although love was lost, the friendships stood strong,

Not just in the right but more so in the wrong,

My smiles and sighs I found in others,

Discovered the joy in sharing their bothers,

As I learnt life was about more than mortal joys,

Wasn’t about the destination but the journey we employed,

Learnt that the child in me should never be lost,

That the insanity within keeps me warm in humanity’s frost,

I sail through a life that could well be a movie,

With a storyline & script that makes it groovy,

It follows a rhyme that is beautifully poetic,

I am a legend and this is my epic!

Footprints

So many that I hold close and a few that hold me,

It is for them that I know what I know, I see what I see,

They are closest that understand me without hints,

And of them I ask nothing but memories, for them I leave nothing but footprints...

Reconstruction

A structure that stood strong for 24 years,

But today with a drill through it he tears,

He says he will rebuild it stronger,

A new one that will last much longer,

Armed with cement and ceramic I trust him with the feat,

As my dentist goes to work on my teeth...

Alienated

I am an alien in this town,

Can't find a reason to replace my frown,

So much to dislike and so much to fear,

Little of interest, little to hold dear,

They say home is where the heart is,

But I am hapless, my heart is amiss...

In a world where we all have learnt to compromise,

Where all our moments are accentuated by sighs,

Where so much is said and so much heard,

In the search for clarity where everything is blurred,

Where we have accepted that dreams must be clipped,

Emotions must be hidden and we must live tight lipped,

Of all those matters and so much more,

I hope someday we may grow wings and above them we soar,

When we may be as free as the soft threads of moonlight,

That sparkle even more in the darkness of the night…

JUST ME...

Sometimes I wonder if I need the world,
When so much within me does each day unfurl,
Fighting both sides of my battles within,
Seeking my own advice when I don't know how to begin,
When my sights are shrouded the right path to myself I show,
I am my own best friend, my own greatest foe!