The Caveat : I haven’t read the book.
I have always maintained that in order to get noticed by ‘the one’ we’ve been noticing, we need a certain amount of deception and lies to have a head-start because obviously enough, they aren’t being noticed by just us right? There is competition and where there is competition, you have to have an edge. Don’t be up in arms denying it but you only take note of the loud odd-balls in the group. You want the best there is, (fair enough…I mean, it’s like shopping right? You’d like it to be perfect and I guess that is a fairly reasonable ask, it’s what any good shopper looks for, a flawless product!) and so you look at the most eye-catching candy out there. We understand this and so change the way we present ourselves.
The unfortunate part is the beginning…when the bridge is being constructed between the two, the very foundations are awry. How long will the lies and deception be kept up? If it were limited to the initial phases, things would be fine but they are not. Over a period of time, we become insecure about who we really are and find security in the façade of who we are trying to be. We start believing our own lies and falter thereon because we aren’t what we are pretending to be. By the time we realize our faults and start coming into being ourselves, neither side gets what they were looking for!
We aren’t perfect, we’re human. I wonder why things have to be so darned difficult? Just be yourself…you aren’t that bad!