Saturday, September 19, 2009

Are long-term relationships really possible?

"Sometimes to grow together, you have to grow apart.”

True isn’t it? I know I have stuck onto my friends ever since school but we aren’t as close as we were back then. All of us have grown from being almost similar, to being completely different. And then there are best friends... I would have loved to keep things the way they were in “OUR” Wonder Years but then they cannot continue that way forever can they? All of us have a different point of view and a different perspective no matter how similar the situation. And each of us needs to grow individually. We cannot grow together cause then we keep holding each other back. Making sacrifices and choices you don’t want to, holding back just to be together until you reach a point when you both stop growing. And then, whether we want to or not, we must let go and move on.

It's a fact of life. If we stick to each other for a lifetime, we're gonna have to make some choices we don't want to and sacrifice some things that we really wanted. There will be so many opportunities that will be available to just one of us and to be together, we'll have to forgo them. Can we hope to grow together with these things happening around us? Or do we stop growing as individuals and grow together as something else? Is that what relationships are all about? Letting go of all your dreams, hopes and aspirations for some completely new ones? To stop being 'you' and start being 'we?'

I dunno about you but to me, that seems like a pretty stiff ask...


Saurabh said...

Yes. I think it kinda is.
Depends a lot on the situation and your definition of a relationship.

There were so many people back in school I hit off so well with and thought that we'd be friends coz there was always so much to talk about, discuss and do -- but things change. Haven't spoken to some of those guys in years now - literally.

But if I happen to bump into any of them one fine day and time permits, I am sure we're gonna have plenty to talk about - picking off from where we left.
Now, is this a relationship?

The answer is different for different people. So yeah - I guess depending on your definition, I guess it varies ...

In the end its always nice to know a LOT of people adequately well - increases the probability of bumping into them randomly.

Ria said...

if u ask me, i feel relationships last for as long as u want them to be. In fact there are some relationships which can last for a life time, only if both the ppl are willing to work on it to keep the relationship alive!!

Else it gets lost in the melee just lke u hav said in this post. :)

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

@Saurabh:> Hmmm...I was talking in terms of marriages...though you can ignore that context! :P

@Ria:> Sometimes though, you can want it to last and yet find you aren't happy enough being in it and you gotta let go!

(There's more to say but I'm kinda half-dead with exhaustion! Been a really long day! More, maybe another day!)

Absolutely Normal Chaos said...

It really depends on the two people involved. But more or less, I think it's about balancing growth as an individual and as one half of a couple. Quite a task, but so worth it in my experience.