The 15 SECONDS Rule

When we face very important decisions in life, all of us have a tough time making the decisions. Sometimes we ponder for months on end (and occasionally even years!) before we can eventually decide what it is that we should choose.
Yet, I have a theory. No matter how much we deliberate, no matter how long it is that we deliberate, the eventual choice is the one that we have made in our minds in the first 15 seconds. No matter how much you think about it later, rarely if ever, will the decision be other than the one that you had made in the first 15 seconds…that is all the time that our mind needs to make the decision. All the deliberation, all the quarrels with our conscience and all the other ‘sound advice’ would rarely if ever do anything to help the decision making process. Beyond the time frame, it is just our mind playing with the possibilities because we have nothing else going on in our measly lives.
So take my advice and spare yourself the trouble in the future. Don’t contemplate or deliberate too much. Do what you have thought of in the 15 second time frame… that’s all the time your mind needs…

The SOUND ADVICE Theory

You know how people always seem to be wiser than you and will always be giving you advice? Advice that is so good, they have a term for it which says “sound advice!” But honestly I think there is a very punny side to the term.

When someone gives you sound advice, the first time around it always is more of sound and less of advice. Quite like sound it has a few similar properties.

1. It travels at 332m/s. (Especially when it goes in from one ear and out the other!)

2. Like sound, it has a tendency to echo and come back to you (at the most inappropriate time when everything would’ve been just as it should’ve following the advice…but you didn’t and there they are waiting to say – “I told you so!”)

3. Like sound it has a tendency to travel with different velocities through different media (read different people…it travels outta some ears faster than others…and then there are the occasional ears that it gets absorbed in!)

4. And there is resonance… should there unfortunately be two people giving the same advice, the sound seems to get amplified!

5. And of course, what is acceptable to the ears, is popularly known as “music to my ears!” and should it be unacceptable, it is simply noise!

And a few other properties of sound that I cant recall anymore. But that in short is the “Sound Advice” theory.

The LANDMARKS Theory

This isn’t a landmark theory marking a landmark achievement et al. It is literally about landmarks! If you wanna gauge where someone’s interests lie, especially if you are meeting them for the first time and hence make an evaluation of them, ask them where they want to meet. Tell them you don’t know the exact location and ask them for a suitable landmark nearby. The landmark will give an insight about what and where their interests lie.

I tried it out for myself. (well more like the incident inspired this theory but…) Mum wanted a new reliance connection for their all-India reliance to reliance free calling. I had to go and submit the documents and not knowing where the shop was I asked my mum where it was. Mum is bad with places and so was of little help. She gave me a bunch of roads to choose from and said it was somewhere on MG Road. ~sigh~

Then I asked my brother. He gave me a bunch of shops (viz. Woodlands, Adidas, Nike…) for the record there are more than a couple of showrooms of the said brands on the said road… can’t really blame him though can I? He is 15 and well the brands are his life… ~sigh~

So then I called up dad. (Which I should’ve done in the first place but then this theory wouldn’t have developed would it?) His directions were curt and precise. “Opposite Hotel Aurora Towers.” That was all he said.

Then there are my friends. Ask them where to meet. One of them will almost always pick out a multiplex. His life aims at just watching as many movies as he can. Another one will choose any place where there are a ton of women around. No guessing where his priorities lie. Another one will always choose a mall. And all she can think of is shopping! And then there are some who can tell me the place with pin-point accuracy but will meet me at some kiosk (is that the word?) that sells cigarettes. (more appropriately in our lingo, a “tapri” for all the “taporis”)

I am gonna have a little fun for myself over the next few days. Try it if you like!

The "I Remember You!!!" Rule

All of us have trouble remembering all the people from our past. The condition is even worse when someone calls you up at long last and then you just can't give the name a face! After a few minutes of awkward conversation, you finally recall and then suddenly, bang in front of your eyes is the image of that person from the first time that you thought they were noteworthy. Sometimes it's the first time that you met and sometimes the last time you bid them farewell. But strangely enough, you could be 20 years down the line and still the image that comes to your mind would be the one from the first time you met!

I have a few strange images of people. Yesterday, I bumped into an old friend after many years and reminiscing the old days, suddenly brought forth a name from my past. And the first image that popped to my mind was not the one from an early morning basketball practice, not the one from one of the several matches we played together, not one from the lunch breaks but one from 7th grade with him looking straight ahead at the teacher in the midst of an exam with 3 fingers held up slyly against his cheek indicating the question number for which he wanted the answer! We must have had so many other memorable times together but that was the first image that popped to my mind!

The best one though is of my best friend which epitomises the friendship we share. We have known each other since pre-nursery and yet, the image I carry of him is from the first day we met. The first time we were being taught how to write, I had lost my eraser and was rubbing a wet finger on the paper to erase whatever it was that I had written. Suddenly I felt a whack on my back and there was this chubby boy telling me that it wasn't a good thing to be doing and offered me his eraser. To this day, he has always been the one to whack me whenever I have been doing wrong...

Funny eh? I am sure you suffer from the same. Somehow, the image that I can conjure when I am thinking about someone is always the same for that first few moments before the memory kicks in. I call it the "I remember you!" rule cause it's the reaction that is evoked when you suddenly recall somebody and the image in front of you is the one that you will carry to your grave (and just to sound a little profound and intelligent) ...maybe beyond!

Random Rhymes

1. Sometimes beyond our sights we need to see,

beyond our sorrows and moments of glee,

its a time when both you n me,

need to move forward, set our hearts and minds free!

2. what do you think the heart does seek?
why does our courage mellow and spirits go weak?
why away from our troubles do we flee?
when all we need to do, is set our worries free...

3. time flies and memories grow,
with every passing day, a new seed we sow,
and yet the new can we only see,
when we allow ourself to set our past free!

4. a million miles between us now,
yet i hope of seeing you somehow,
someday maybe across the sea,
ill fly to you and together we'll be!

5. do you remember that once upon a day,

you and me together had walked this way,

and now across the screens we talk,

wondering when together we might walk,

and re-live and re-make all those stories,

ones that we now seem to call memories!

6. time brings us close, time takes us apart,
friends that arrive, friends that depart,
until one day, we aren't reason for each other's smiles,
separated by a distance, not measured in miles!!!

Can We Go Back Again Please?

Upon me yesterday it dawned,

Through each other’s eyes our worlds we have spawned,

We have known each other a little too well,

And hence nervousness in our hearts can sometimes dwell…

When yesterday I saw your eyes,

I couldn’t hold myself back despite my tries,

Even in your laughter, I saw you hiding pain,

Are we so far apart that your confidence I must win all over again???

Can we go back to the days gone by,

When we’d find each other without having to try,

When in each other, the greatest joy we ever found,

Separated by miles but in our hearts, forever bound…

Playing Second Fiddle

R has propounded a theory that suggests I am one of those people who love playing second fiddle. He says I am the kind of guy who will always play the supporting role and never take the lead and take others to task. Always the people who will provide the essential support and guidance but despite being able to probably lead better, will never step up to the plate and deliver. And yes, he is right. I am someone who will always pull the strings from the background never once stepping up to the plate to deliver. I prefer letting my knowledge rest in the background even though I might be able to shed a different light on a subject.

Well, more concerning, so says R, is my reluctance to ever take a nose dive into a relationship. I think he has pretty much seen most of the relationships I have shared with women (read in the singular tense, though written in the plural sense hoping to not look like a loser!) and I suppose he is one the three people who have known exactly what I have had in my heart. Obviously the other part of the problem comes with the fact that I haven’t ever let my heart take precedence over my mind and have always done what might be deemed as the right thing to do. Trust me, doesn’t work that way if you are ever gonna share a relationship with someone. A relationship is about uncertainity, about trusting your instincts and taking a dive into the unknown with someone you think will be there for you in whatever unexpected turn there are to come. (Ironically enough, I have lived my life the way I should’ve handled my relationships and handled my relationships the way I should’ve lived my life!) I have always been awesome with giving people advice on their lives…I guess I need someone to help me with my own! Always happy playing second fiddle. But what the heck, as long as I am happy as a bumble bee right?

The Same Old Songs

My memory plays out to me, the same old songs,

I’m still the boy, who did no wrongs,

If I called you now, would you still come as before,

Or would you now, walk outta that door?

Have I already lost you to a memory,

Am I still supposed to believe what we shared was just another story,

Cause I’m still here waiting for you to return,

I’d do anything so your love I may earn.

My dreams still hold on to times gone by,

I’m still the boy, who’d never give up and fruitlessly try,

If I held your hand, would you also hold mine,

Or would you turn your back, tell me it ain’t fine?

Has the distance between us widened so,

Am I supposed to move on and let you go,

Cause I never will and forever I’ll be waiting here,

That one day again we’ll be together and hold “us” dear…

WHEN NOTHING SEEMS TO GO RIGHT!

There are periods when everything seems to go against you almost as if someone up there was trying to tell you something. The signs are all there all of a sudden. That wonderful phone you bought from your own pay suddenly disappears into thin air. Absolutely no explaining what might’ve happened to it. One minute you’re adoring it and the next it’s gone! All that love and it’s all gone! And then you’re left with the memories… ~sigh~
If that isn’t sign enough, all the teams you support, be it cricket or football end up on the losing side. First time ever that your team reaches the Champions League final and against arch rivals your team loses on penalties…that too because captain dependable slips and misses the mark. Coming back from a losing streak, your team in the IPL comes off on a fabulous winning streak defeating everyone in their path and then fails to make the cut losing the last three matches off the last ball, all of them that could’ve gone either way!
Then battered you wanna come back home and so you decide to leave really early to not miss the train. You reach 3 hours before the scheduled departure and for the first time in your recorded history, there are no vacant seats! None! Cursing, you get to the bus stand and after waiting in line for over an hour, they inform you that the next bus available is after a good couple of hours. Still not one to give up, you quickly switch over to the other bus service. You clamber onto the bus and it breaks down half way! Resigning yourself to fate, you wait a couple of hours for an alternate bus to be arranged.
Well, sometimes nothing can go your way. But I am not one to give up, am I? I hold on and know there is a silver lining to this cloud too. After all, Bikram’s Law does state “Everything that can go wrong, will…only to get better than before!” Well, it stands true. Things did get better (touchwood!)

FIGURES OF RELATIONSHIPS

As a part of the school curriculum, I am sure you have all studied grammar. As a part of grammar, I am sure you have all studied “Figures of Speech.” I was recently helping my brother with his grammar and since I am an amateur poet, I appreciate this form of grammar better than others. Obviously enough, this post isn’t about grammar…I obviously found a bit of humour combining a little bit of PUN, a little bit of IRONY and whole lot of INEUNDOS, combined with my limited understanding of relationships. I am sure if you overlook my naivety, you will find plenty to laugh about...

(The first definition is the one from WREN & MARTIN and following in italics is my take on them.)

SIMILE:

In a simile a comparison is made between two objects of different kinds with at least one thing in common.

In a simile a relationship is shared between two objects of different kinds with just one thing in common-LUST.

METAPHOR:

A metaphor is an implied simile which does not state that one thing is like another but takes it for granted and proceeds as if the two are one.

A metaphor is what stifles a relationship, also understood as possessiveness.

PERSONIFICATION:

In personification inanimate objects and abstract notions are spoken of as having life and intelligence.

This one is read simply as the expectation of a meaningful relationship with a drop dead gorgeous individual…

APOSTROPHE:

An apostrophe is a direct address to the dead, the absent or to a personified object or idea. It is a special form of personification.

A special form of personification, this one is read as the expectation of a meaningful relationship with an absent individual. (A one-way street so to say!)

HYPERBOLE:

In hyperbole a statement is made more emphatic by overstatement.

When you want a kiss and just to make the landing smooth, you say “I love you!”

EUPHEMISM:

Euphemism consists in the description of a disagreeable thing by an agreeable name.

That’s when a guy says “I love you!” when the girl asks “Do I look fat in this dress?”

ANTITHESIS:

In antithesis a striking opposition or contrast of words or sentiments is made in the same sentence.

When you ask the girl if you can cancel the date to go out for dinner with your mates and she says “Oh sure! but we need to talk later.”

OXYMORON:

Oxymoron is a special form of Antithesis, whereby two contradictory qualities are predicted at once of the same thing.

The dreaded words “I love you but…”

EPIGRAM:

An epigram is a brief pointed saying frequently introducing antithetical ideas which excite, surprise and arrest attention.

When your girl says “I’m feeling naughty.” And suddenly you start feeling good.

IRONY:

Irony is a mode of speech in which the real meaning is the exact opposite of that which is literally conveyed.

Hehehe…this one’s the best. “I love you, will you marry me?”

PUN:

A pun is the use of a word in such a way that it is capable of more than one application, the object being to produce a ludicrous effect.

I’ll give this one a miss. My life is too PUNNY anyways!

SYNECHDOCHE:

In synechdoche, a part is used to designate a whole or a whole is used to designate the part.

Pardon me…I will not explore this one. I am sure the guys will love this one with their own imaginations ”part for the w-hole and the w-hole for the part!” Hilarious!

INTERROGATION OR A RHETORICAL QUESTION:

Asking of a question not for the sake of getting an answer but to put a point more effectively.

You need help with this? How about “Do you love me?” when you’ve made a mistake…how do you answer that question?

EXCLAMATION:

The exclamatory form is used to draw greater attention to a point than a mere bald statement could do it.

I suppose everyone is aware of this. When you’re out with your friends and suddenly someone goes “Oh my God! Would you look at that!” and it gets better when you've had an argument with your gal and she happens to be with you!

CLIMAX:

The arrangement of a series of ideas in order of increasing importance.

This wasn’t my doing…this is straight from the Wren & Martin! “Simple, erect, severe, austere, sublime!”

ANTICLIMAX:

A sudden descent from the higher to the lower. It is chiefly used for the purpose of satire or ridicule…

If you need an example, you are lucky my friend. For those who have a situation in mind, you have my condolences!

And we have the last one as the one that really matters…

TRANSFERRED EPITHET:

In this, an epithet is transferred from its proper word to another that is closely associated with it in the sentence.

Well this one is true love…when the both of you feel for each other and are closely associated.