FIGURES OF RELATIONSHIPS

As a part of the school curriculum, I am sure you have all studied grammar. As a part of grammar, I am sure you have all studied “Figures of Speech.” I was recently helping my brother with his grammar and since I am an amateur poet, I appreciate this form of grammar better than others. Obviously enough, this post isn’t about grammar…I obviously found a bit of humour combining a little bit of PUN, a little bit of IRONY and whole lot of INEUNDOS, combined with my limited understanding of relationships. I am sure if you overlook my naivety, you will find plenty to laugh about...

(The first definition is the one from WREN & MARTIN and following in italics is my take on them.)

SIMILE:

In a simile a comparison is made between two objects of different kinds with at least one thing in common.

In a simile a relationship is shared between two objects of different kinds with just one thing in common-LUST.

METAPHOR:

A metaphor is an implied simile which does not state that one thing is like another but takes it for granted and proceeds as if the two are one.

A metaphor is what stifles a relationship, also understood as possessiveness.

PERSONIFICATION:

In personification inanimate objects and abstract notions are spoken of as having life and intelligence.

This one is read simply as the expectation of a meaningful relationship with a drop dead gorgeous individual…

APOSTROPHE:

An apostrophe is a direct address to the dead, the absent or to a personified object or idea. It is a special form of personification.

A special form of personification, this one is read as the expectation of a meaningful relationship with an absent individual. (A one-way street so to say!)

HYPERBOLE:

In hyperbole a statement is made more emphatic by overstatement.

When you want a kiss and just to make the landing smooth, you say “I love you!”

EUPHEMISM:

Euphemism consists in the description of a disagreeable thing by an agreeable name.

That’s when a guy says “I love you!” when the girl asks “Do I look fat in this dress?”

ANTITHESIS:

In antithesis a striking opposition or contrast of words or sentiments is made in the same sentence.

When you ask the girl if you can cancel the date to go out for dinner with your mates and she says “Oh sure! but we need to talk later.”

OXYMORON:

Oxymoron is a special form of Antithesis, whereby two contradictory qualities are predicted at once of the same thing.

The dreaded words “I love you but…”

EPIGRAM:

An epigram is a brief pointed saying frequently introducing antithetical ideas which excite, surprise and arrest attention.

When your girl says “I’m feeling naughty.” And suddenly you start feeling good.

IRONY:

Irony is a mode of speech in which the real meaning is the exact opposite of that which is literally conveyed.

Hehehe…this one’s the best. “I love you, will you marry me?”

PUN:

A pun is the use of a word in such a way that it is capable of more than one application, the object being to produce a ludicrous effect.

I’ll give this one a miss. My life is too PUNNY anyways!

SYNECHDOCHE:

In synechdoche, a part is used to designate a whole or a whole is used to designate the part.

Pardon me…I will not explore this one. I am sure the guys will love this one with their own imaginations ”part for the w-hole and the w-hole for the part!” Hilarious!

INTERROGATION OR A RHETORICAL QUESTION:

Asking of a question not for the sake of getting an answer but to put a point more effectively.

You need help with this? How about “Do you love me?” when you’ve made a mistake…how do you answer that question?

EXCLAMATION:

The exclamatory form is used to draw greater attention to a point than a mere bald statement could do it.

I suppose everyone is aware of this. When you’re out with your friends and suddenly someone goes “Oh my God! Would you look at that!” and it gets better when you've had an argument with your gal and she happens to be with you!

CLIMAX:

The arrangement of a series of ideas in order of increasing importance.

This wasn’t my doing…this is straight from the Wren & Martin! “Simple, erect, severe, austere, sublime!”

ANTICLIMAX:

A sudden descent from the higher to the lower. It is chiefly used for the purpose of satire or ridicule…

If you need an example, you are lucky my friend. For those who have a situation in mind, you have my condolences!

And we have the last one as the one that really matters…

TRANSFERRED EPITHET:

In this, an epithet is transferred from its proper word to another that is closely associated with it in the sentence.

Well this one is true love…when the both of you feel for each other and are closely associated.