The Misunderstandings Theory

I was wondering why we fight so much with the people we love most...is it the burden of expectations that drives us to the limit causing tensions to flare?
Well, sort of. I think, the reason for misunderstandings and the resulting tensions, is a lack of understanding. As we get closer to people, we learn more about them. After a certain point, we start simulating their behavior in our mind, expecting and foretelling what they might or perhaps, ought to do! And when the results of the simulation are not quite the same as the reactions in real time, there are disagreements and arguments.
I believe, in a relationship, the degree of comfort shared is directly proportional to the amount of error we provide for in our simulations. In other words, the amount of freedom we are willing to give. The lesser the expectations, the better is it. The thing is, we can never hope to fully understand another human, no matter how long you've known them because we are such complicated beings.
Is it a wonder then, that the most comfortable relationships are those that are casual and have tons of space and the least amount of expectations?

For Jaggidon!

Before I'd met him, they'd said he was old,
Before I knew him, I believed what I was told,
But not for long, cause soon I was certain,
There was a kid inside, hiding behind age's curtain,
A zest for life, that put those younger to shame,
From the Director to the watchmen, everyone knew his name,
An ocean of patience, bottled within,
Little or nothing, that got under his skin,
Though I've always thought, patience was just a show,
The real reason perhaps, the fact that with him everything registers a tad ___,
Like even now, I'm sure you've figured before him,
Cause right about this line, his tubelight switches on, as does his precious grin,
Yes, long overdue has been this rhyme,
But Heck, in his case, promptness would've been a crime,
So folks once more, recall the 'Bolt' salute,
And with it, that lovable Jat brute,
I'm gonna miss hear him say, 'saale cc' at the end,
Paape, I love you, my bro, my friend!

Something I wrote in the Train on the way to Delhi...

My eyes half shut, with a few grains of sleep,
In my last waking moments, your thoughts run deep,
Miles away from you, as I lie in the train,
A million memories of you, running through my brain,
How I wish with a blink, I could come back,
Instead of lying in this steel wagon, on a steel track,
But to blink back, I don't have a jeannie and neither am I one,
So I must settle for the little, that by me can be done,
I write a few lines for you, hoping they'll make you beam,
And I shut my eyes, to meet you, if only in a dream!

Oogway was right!

One often meets his destiny on the very path he takes to avoid it!

My Friend, Loneliness...

Loneliness, the friend I wish I'd never had,
Always with me when I'm blue, when I'm feeling sad,
When I'm sitting overwhelmed by my tribulations, burdened by myself,
Loneliness comes around to keep me company, to offer help,
Sitting with him, I mull over all that did happen, all that is past,
And he always manages to assure me, that this neither, for long shall last,
As he begins to speak, I have my head in my hands,
My toes are nervy, they're drawing patterns in the sands,
But slowly the words are clearer, they begin to make more sense,
He seems to always find a way, even when I'm being dense,
Soon I'm smiling, and I look up amongst the crowd, seeking him out,
But he's gone, all my gratitude, he's left without,
Burdened by his benevolence, for his company, I'm longing soon enough,
And I know where to find him, so once again, I set out to seek waters, choppy and rough...

The Earth and The Moon...

I don't think I'll ever find out,
Why I stare at the moon so oft,
Lying in my bed, from my window I look out,
And watch him brighten the Earth, with his light so soft...

I don't know what the crescent holds,
That I look at and am lost everytime,
I wonder what story he wants to unfold,
Or what that story has to do with mine...

Night after night, I watch him traverse the sky,
His crescent smiles turning to round laughs and the laughs turning back to smiles,
I wonder how they love each other so, I sometimes even wonder why,
His world revolves around hers, and yet, they remain separated by distant miles...

The Immortality Theory

What is being immortal? I mean think about it realistically and with practical relativity.
To a mortal being, immortal is anything that existed before they did and lasts even after they're gone. With this frame of reference in mind, if someone was born one day before me and died one day after, for me, that person would've been immortal...
Simple isn't it?

I find myself talking about you,
When I'm with my friends and we're sipping some brew,
I almost tell them, what to me you are,
In the storm of my life, my guiding star,
And then I realise, it's been long since I've said,
Words that I haven't written here but I'm hoping you've read...

So many times that I've said something and meant something else,
For what dwells within, I'd seldom like to express,
So I move on, having convinced you of what isn't,
Suspect me of lying? Hah! I bet you didn't,
But on days like this, when I'm reminiscing on a bridge with myself,
I feel a pall grow within that I just can't help,
For I can lie to you, lie to the world and hold my tears in my eyes,
But I can't hide myself from myself, despite all my tries...


(Note to self: Archived till here)

A ton of questions...a ton of answers...just trying to kill time!

LAST TIMES…
1. Last beverage: Kharbuja Juice...(thanks to Rohan...)
2. Last phone call: Sadly, again, Rohan...
3. Last text message: Shuchita Thavi
4. Last song you listened to: Iris (Goo Goo Dolls)
5. Last time you cried: ummm...I think I was watching some movie...a couple of days ago...(Yeah, I'm the guy you'll hear sobbing no end in the theater!)

HAVE YOU EVER...
6. Dated someone twice: Yeah! (I mean, depends on your definition of a date though!)
7. Been cheated on? : Hmmmm...I've never really qualified to get that far!
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? : I think I'm gonna hate this questionnaire! Never been kissed... :(
9. Lost someone special? Yes...
10. Been depressed? : Like my friends say, I am a depressed soul! (ummm...I think they also say, I am a depressing soul!)
11. Been drunk and threw up? Does being drunk on coffee count? But no, havent thrown up after being high on coffee...

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Blue (The Chelsea kind!)
13. Green
14. White
15. Black

FIRSTS :
16. Made new friends: Kindergarten! Heck, the first friend I ever made, is still my best friend! :)
17. Fallen out of love: Nopes...
18. Laughed until you cried: Lotsa times!
19. Met someone who changed you: Yups...almost everyone that comes close to me, changes me in some way or the other...I'm a sum-total of all the people around me!
20. Found out who your true friends were: Been fortunate enough to never have been let down by anyone! (Touchwood!)
21. Found out someone was talking about you: Never...never been half as popular!

HAVE YOU:

22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: I told you I'd hate this questionnaire!
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Everyone...except maybe 4 that I have met on blogger...
24. How many kids do you want to have: 11...most of them, adopted...
25. Do you have any pets: Nopes...
26. Do you want to change your name: Absolutely not!
27. What did you do for your last birthday: Friends came over with a cake at midnight...then spent the rest of the day sleeping and answering calls.
28.What time did you wake up today: 10
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping...
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for : Finding my calling!
31. Last time you saw your father: this morning...he was praying and I was in bed!
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Nothing...absolutely nothing!
33. Most visited web page: Blogger dashboard.

WHAT'S YOUR :

34. Name: Bikram Premkumar Snehi
35. Nicknames: Biks, Biki, Bika, Bikini.
36. Zodiac sign: Gemini
37. Male or female or transgender : Male
38. Elementary: The Bishop's School, Pune/ St. Vincent's Boys High School, Pune
39. Colleges: Vidyabhavan Junior College, Pune/ Rajarshi Shahu College Of Engineering, Pune/ Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies, Mumbai.
40. Hair color: Salt and Pepper
41. Long or short: Short
42. Height: 5.10.5"
43. Do you have a crush on someone? Two.
44. Ever been in love? Yups
45. Piercings? None
46. Tattoos? Nope...but I want "निर्लज्जम सदासुखी" on the back of my neck.
47. Righty or lefty: Righty
48. First surgery: None
49. First piercing: NA
50. First best friend: Saurabh
51. First sport you loved: Cricket
52. First pet : A dog
53. First vacation: Patna
54. First concert: NA
55. First crush : Hmmm...I think it was this girl called 'Karishma' in a class I'd joined in 9th...
56. Eating: Half-fried eggs.
57. Drinking: I love water a lot...
58. I'm about to: Step out for a drive...
59. Listening to: Cricket commentary!
60. Waiting for: A job!

YOUR FUTURE

61. Want kids? OFC!
62. Want to get married? Hmmm...twice actually!
63. Careers in mind? Hehehe...I'll tell you that when I have my first job! I have no idea what I wanna be!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes!
65. Hugs or kisses: ? Never been kissed so I'm inclined towards the kisses part!
66. Shorter or taller: Taller.
67. Older or Younger: Younger
68. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous...(I'm romantic enough!)
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach...like mine atleast! :P
70. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
71. Hook-up or relationship: Have no experience with either, sadly...
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker...im hesitant :D

HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: I wish!
74. Lost glasses/contacts: Hehehe...I'd gone to Murud with my classmates, got so excited at the sight of the ocean, I dived in without removing my spectacles...never saw through them again!
76. Broken some one's heart: Ah! Nopes...at least, not that I know of!
77. Had your own heart broken: Yups...
78. Been arrested: Hehehe...almost! Once for jumping from one train to another at Andheri Station!
79. Turned someone down: Nopes...(and I'm still single, so you can gauge my plight!)
80. Cried when someone died: Yes...a lot...
81. Liked a friend that is a boy? Hehehe...not in a sense that would need invoking article 377, no!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: A little too much I think...
82. Miracles: Happen...I'm waiting for one!
83. God: is an Egotist!
84. Love at first sight: Yup!
85. Heaven: It's right here!
86. Santa Claus: Who?
87. Kiss on the first date? I officially dislike this quiz!
88. Angels: Friends :)
89. Devils: I, me, myself...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yup.
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? Nopes...
93. Among your blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? HUH?
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? Committed, Yes...regretted, No...
95. Wanted to steal you friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? : Nopes...absolutely not...

ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR :

96. White: Shoes
97. Black: Watch
98. Red: Nothing
99. Pink: Nothing
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Nopes...98 truths...

:)

Spot the two lies!

:D

Destiny?

I've been unemployed for a very long time now...keep missing out on prospective jobs for myriad reasons that border on the edge of being hilarious. From being rejected for being a poet, to being told I was too darned suave, the reasons have been worth a laugh. On occasions when these eccentric reasons didn't get in my way, I did. Made the most hilariously basic mistakes in the interviews, ones that make me doubt if I did ever pursue an MBA in Finance from NMIMS.
Which brings me to the next part. I doubt there have ever been students from my college in the past who have struggled to get employed for as long as I have. I mean what were the chances? When I joined, the seniors were looking at packages of 7L+ in the very least...my batch hoped for a little more...but then we were hit by the now-so-famous recession. So the batch struggled to get employment. However, all but me, all of the 420-odd strong, leave me, have been employed.
~Sigh~
I'm not too worked up about being unemployed though, a little bit cause I've got a loan to pay off but not really too much...what strikes me though, is how much the universe is conspiring for me. It couldn't be plain co-incidence, all that has been happening.
Maybe I'm not destined to be stuck in a 9 to 5 job...maybe I am destined to do something else...like maybe write...but...am I?

Sometimes...

Sometimes, all alone, when I'm longing for you,
I wish, somehow, you might be longing for me too,
Cause right then, there's nothing that I wouldn't do,
To see your smile, if only, it were for a moment or two...

Sometimes, all alone, when I'm lost in your thought,
I wish, somehow, in your mind, me too you've got,
Cause right then, there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to bring the distance to a naught,
To see those eyes, that for so long, my eyes have sought...

Sometimes, all alone, when in my head, I hear you speak,
I wish, somehow, my voice, you too do seek,
Cause right then, there's nothing I wouldn't do, to be with you, everyday of every week,
To hear the voice, that gives me strength, makes me weak...

Sometimes, all alone, when my hand lies half open this way,
I wish, somehow, our fingers could be joined in play,
Cause right then, there's nothing I wouldn't do, to rid me of the emptiness filling my days,
And to you I write these words, cause I can't bear these sometimes, forever and for always...

Got back from Delhi and wrote this in the train...the trip was awesome but I'll be able to tell more when I get back to Pune...am still only as far as Bombay. (Not that I'm complaining much about it! Well, I'm on a borrowed laptop so this is it for now. Shall update in detail whence I get home. Ciao!)

Status update-
In Delhi for my ex-roommate's wedding. Will be here till saturday...
It's friggin cold here...and with the amount of fat I have in my body, the chill isn't funny!
The big yellow star sets on this city at 530! It's dark at 6! When I got off the train, I stood in the sun for a good 10 minutes! I now fully understand why so many songs are upbeat about 'A Bright Sun-shiny Day!'
Not my first trip to the capital...though the first time around the temperature was moderate and bearable...didn't like the city at all back then and had very notoriously, gone absconding from my job to run off to Bombay and NMIMS...funny story that...maybe i'll let you in on it sometime...
Oh! And I don't have very good memories of The Capital...I almost didn't come, almost...
But theres the bro-code to be honoured so kinda forced myself to get here...hoping the trip turns out better than it did the last time around!
Well, that's all for now... Shall catch you guys in about a weeks time...unless i get bored and decide to publish from my phone like right now...

Time Machine...

Some songs can take us back in time,
Remind us of when we were just 9,
Some that take us back to the corridors of school,
Bringing back memories when all the boybands were cool,
Songs that bring back the college days,
Remind us occasionally of our wayward ways,
Those songs from when had woken the rebel in us,
To dag nab the worldly laws and all their fuss,
Ah! Then there's that one song from your very first love, the very first time,
That tune, those lyrics, that still sound sublime,
And then that one song that epitomizes all you are,
Captures every hope, every tear, every dream, every scar,
And then one night, like me, when you've got your playlist on,
You suddenly might find your time machine, as you reminisce the days gone by with every passing song...

P.S. Two posts again today...

The road leans over a valley below,
In the darkness of the night, I see lights shimmer and glow,
Once again the road twists and another valley lies beneath,
But this ones awash in the brightness of the full moon's sheath,
Is one sight better than the other I wonder,
I'm sure you think me crazy to even bother n ponder,
Nature's beauty in all it's glory, mesmerising n pure,
Man couldn't match her genius for sure,
But as the road winds and I see both sights,
I marvel at us human's might,
I dunno if you too would look in awe upon this show,
But I'm mesmerised, by the shimmering stars, both above and below...

Unemployed thoughts...

Being unemployed has it’s advantages…it’s a Wednesday afternoon after all! Heck, if I may be bold enough, (and you know I am!) I have yet to come across any disadvantages, ummm, except perhaps the fact that you’re perennially broke but if you have friends that are willing to pay for your coffees and parents who are willing to support you, (if only for the time being!) life’s pretty much as good as it gets…ok, so you need to learn to swallow a little bit of your foolish pride (of which I seem to have none, which only makes the task a lot simpler!) On a philosophical note though, you should never be afraid of asking yourself awkward questions and should always be prepared for unwanted answers…life is a lot sweeter when you can live with the bitter truth. Hence, you will notice, I do not say ‘I’m in between jobs.’ I’m always, ‘unemployed!’ Once past this hurdle, you’re all set to have a gala time!

For starters, no one but you have whole and sole control of your two prized possessions, your mind and your time. You can actually choose to spend them for and with whoever and whatever you choose! With all the time in the world on your hand and your mind completely unoccupied by the worries plaguing the rest of humanity, you can explore the philosophical realm at length and on your own terms! Please do not learn philosophy from books, what the wise men have passed on to us through their written words notwithstanding. Explore yourself and you shall be enlightened! Think about it, no one ever attained enlightenment from a book, the enlightened ones have been the folks who have chosen to seek the answers to their questions within themselves and found God dwelling within them! Why then should we be subject to what others think? Why be subject to what someone else has thought or does think? We’re intelligent beings capable of independent thoughts aren’t we? So why read what others have gathered, from still others??? (Or at least that was my line of reasoning for not studying back in college…hasn’t been appreciated by the rest of the human race though…I’m still outta work!)

This is an extract from something else I'd written...

P.S. Oh...and I've been asked to give a heads-up in case there is more than one post in a day...so here it is, there has also been another entry today that you might wanna check out...

On such nights...

On nights like these,
I wish for wings like geese,
So amongst the clouds I may fly,
On the winds, soar high...


On nights like this one,
Like horses, I wish I could run,
Over open grounds bathed in green,
Across rivers sparkling in moonlight's sheen...


Cause miles away from you feels so wrong,
Even yesterday feels like so long,
I'd run or fly or whatever else that I might,
To be with you baby, cause I miss you much, on nights like tonight...

Bikram Wisodm

"Patience doesn't bear a sweet fruit, it just fools you into believing that the fruit is sweet!"

Words seemed to have lessened!

I miss sending long smses...I guess people are too busy to read now-a-days...or maybe I've bored them with my incessant messaging...either case, I can't remember the last time I had an sms conversation with any of my old friends...I suppose that's what they call growing up!
~sigh~
I wonder why I seem to grow up slower than the others...

A song I composed! Now if only I could sing to save my life!

I cant see
What's going on between you n me,
I think it's love
But I'm not sure enough,
Of whats in your heart
Coz you only show it when we're far apart...

There must be something I can do
To show how much I love you,
I dont wanna go livin this way
All I want, is to be with you every day...

And I wanna see
What's going on between you n me,
Wanna know its love
And be sure enough,
Of whats in your heart
And baby, I never wanna have to be apart...

So she says I'm weird...that I dont feel what others do...asked me what I'm jealous of...I gave it much thought and this is the only thing I could think of!

I'm not jealous
Of the kinda money you make,
Of all the goodies you rake,
Of all the parties you shake...

I'm not jealous
Of all the riches you enjoy,
Of all your big fancy toys,
Of all your popularity with the girls and boys...

But I am jealous
When to him you do swarm,
Shower him with your wit n charms,
When you melt in his arms...

And I am jealous
That I can give you no more than words like this line,
That I can't keep you for as long as the end of time,
That my love is not enough to make you mine...

I'd walk to you
Just to wipe your tears,
Hold you close
Till you're over your fears...

I'd listen to you
If you need to talk,
Or hold your hand
As in silence we walk...

I'd make a fool of myself
If you'd laugh at this goof,
Walk on my hands
Or dance on the roof...

I'd climb to the moon
Bring back a star,
If starlight could help
Heal your scar...

I know I'm human
I can't do everything,
But to see you smile
I know I'd do anything...

Respect...

You can know some people for a long time and think you know them...then one day they surprise you and suddenly, there is nothing else but respect in your heart for them.
RESPECT.

I, Me, Myself...

My thoughts too loud
I'm drowned in their din,
I, me, myself...too big a crowd
Always arguing within...

I seeks solace
But finds none,
Solitude's a disgrace
Too much of me to spoil the fun...

Me tries shutting out
My overactive mind,
But the voices grow to a shout
And in their commotion, me they grind...

I wants to pack his bag
Walk out on myself,
Me holds him back
To resolve their differences offers to help...

The commotion briefly does pause
As a truce then ensues,
But then they've found another cause
I, me, myself...reason for all my blues...

Curing Writer's Block

Here's a four step guide -
1. Have 3 cups of coffee (I get high on caffeine so coffee is what works for me! You can choose whatever leaves you slightly, and I stress 'slightly' inebriated.)
2. Listen to some music that you really like. (It helps if the music is not very upbeat! Downright morose helps! If you're gonna write, inspiring lyrics help in a big way!)
3. Drive down to your favourite, scenic, isolated destination where you can be alone. (On rare occasions the company of your muse helps...although, on most occasions, the visit is sabotaged because you end up having a great time with them and you return happy.)
4. Recall some of your saddest memories...

Well, I didn't say getting out of ma writer's block was easy! We are at our most creative when we are at our unhappiest! What can I say?

Life is a lie
I'd much rather dream,
Gazing at the sky
Feet dipped in a stream...

I'd dream of us
Lost in love,
A pond of lotus
A flock of white dove...

I'd dream of reaches
Scaled by none,
No greedy leeches
Under the splendid sun...

I'd dream of a calm
Engulfing us all,
No undue harm
Just joys big n small...

No more a rat race
And always enough of a while,
To gaze upon a face
And be lost in it's smile...

Alas! My dream is a farce
For I seek to wipe out strife,
I wish to outrun what's harsh
But all I dream of, is the same old lie, Life...

Your voice in my head now grows faint,
Old memories, that dreams now do taint,
Nought remains clear, of what it once were,
That reassuring presence beside, no longer here,
As I walk down this trail, along the river bed,
Some part of us, with each step i seem to shed,
I look to the west and see the sun bid me aideu,
It's fading light telling me something i already knew,
I close my eyes and bid thee a fond farewell,
In the rising sun, a different morrow it seems, for both of us shall dwell...

(Long time since a poems come huh? Writers block I say!)

Merryandering

Definition from Bikram's non-sensical dictionary
etymology : meander - to wander aimlessly

merryandering - to walk aimlessly with gay abandon in the middle of the road with utter disregard to vehicular traffic


It's pretty irritating when people do that! I was cursing 4 girls that were merryandering at a busy junction today and were then bullied off the road by an irate bus driver that drove dangerously close to them, pretty much intentionally I am sure! But then I found myself merryandering just a little while later and I know now, why this happens to the best of us! Have you noticed, when the road is pretty much deserted and you happen to be walking on one side and decide to move to the other side, suddenly, vehicular traffic appears from nowhere! I stood stranded on the side I didn't wanna be on for quite some time waiting for the traffic to clear. When it did eventually clear, I crossed and stood on the other side for a very long time and saw the road deserted after me. Pretty irritating I tell you!

Probably...

I'd like to think you'd love me
But I know you probably don't,
I'd like to think you'd hold my hand
But I guess you probably won't...

Sometimes when I'm sitting alone
I dream of drowning in your beautiful eyes,
But I guess that ain't gonna happen
Cause these words probably won't find my voice...

The Moon and the Earth!

It's 2 a.m.
I should be asleep,
But I'm wide awake
In her thoughts, lost deep...

I'm wondering, if I make her happy
Or do I leave her sad?
Does she hate me when I'm good
Or Love me when I'm bad?

But then my dreary eyes
Look out to see the Moon's soft glow,
And I wonder if he's kept mum like me
Or of his love for her, he's let The Earth know...

But I guess it doesn't matter
Cause they're always so far,
And the Earth has her children
The Moon has his stars...

The Butterfly!

'Suddenly, in my idyllic glance,
Upon a lovely creature, I happen to chance,
I stand afar and watch her real close,
A happy butterfly, flittering by a rose,
A soft summer breeze, blows in her wings,
In lazy melancholy, they flutter as if to sing,
Then she breaks her flight, with mischievous intent,
Leaves me surprised, as I see her transcend,
At once in her eyes, a naughty hint,
At once replaced, by an angelic glint,
A little bit of beauty, a little bit of grace,
I'm infected by the sunny smile, that her lips do trace,
Troubled does she seem, by neither disdain nor care,
Floating carefree on the breeze, like her wisps of hair,
Then as suddenly as she'd come, she's gone and I sigh,
Longing for whence I'd see again, that flittering-fluttering butterfly!'

In this poem - Priyanka Mishra.

Are long-term relationships really possible?

"Sometimes to grow together, you have to grow apart.”

True isn’t it? I know I have stuck onto my friends ever since school but we aren’t as close as we were back then. All of us have grown from being almost similar, to being completely different. And then there are best friends... I would have loved to keep things the way they were in “OUR” Wonder Years but then they cannot continue that way forever can they? All of us have a different point of view and a different perspective no matter how similar the situation. And each of us needs to grow individually. We cannot grow together cause then we keep holding each other back. Making sacrifices and choices you don’t want to, holding back just to be together until you reach a point when you both stop growing. And then, whether we want to or not, we must let go and move on.

It's a fact of life. If we stick to each other for a lifetime, we're gonna have to make some choices we don't want to and sacrifice some things that we really wanted. There will be so many opportunities that will be available to just one of us and to be together, we'll have to forgo them. Can we hope to grow together with these things happening around us? Or do we stop growing as individuals and grow together as something else? Is that what relationships are all about? Letting go of all your dreams, hopes and aspirations for some completely new ones? To stop being 'you' and start being 'we?'

I dunno about you but to me, that seems like a pretty stiff ask...

Can I?

Can I come close, just enough to make you quiver,
Then touch you, just enough to make you shiver...
Can I play with the wisps of hair, falling across your face,
Let my fingers wander, as your silhoute they lazily trace...
Can I hold you tight, in my arms,
Feel your warmth, as we melt in our charms...
Can I kiss you, on your forehead n on your cheek,
Then wander on, let our lips each other seek...
Can I be lost in your lust, your love and all that is you,
Know what it's like to really have you...
Can I?

My handwriting analysis report! Based on what you know of me, would you agree???

This personality profile is based on the writing of Bikram Snehi created at the website: Handwriting Wizard.com - Handwriting University's Official automated personality report creator based on standardized basic personality traits as taught through Handwriting University's Certification Level Program.

Bikram uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Bikram does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise.

Bikram will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally.

Bikram is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Bikram doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Bikram is sensitive to criticism about his ideas and philosophies. He will sometimes worry what people will think if he tells them what he believes in. This doesn't mean he won't talk, or that he feels ashamed. It merely means he is sensitive to what others think, regarding his beliefs.

Bikram is secretive. He has secrets which he does not wish to share with others. He intentionally conceals things about himself. He has a private side that he intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in his past.

Diplomacy is one of Bikram's best attributes. He has the ability to say what others want to hear. He can have tact with others. He has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Bikram can disagree without being disagreeable.

In reference to Bikram's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Bikram slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Bikram can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Bikram is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Bikram basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Bikram has a temper. He uses this as a defense mechanism when he doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around him.

Bikram has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Bikram has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Bikram fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Bikram has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Bikram is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Bikram would like to leave the past behind and move on.

Austere? What's that?

I had to look up the dictionary to find out what exactly the friggin word meant and I found this-
1 a : stern and cold in appearance or manner b : somber, grave austere critic>
2 : morally strict : ascetic
3 : markedly simple or unadorned austere office> austere style of writing>
4 : giving little or no scope for pleasure <austere diets>
(Courtesy Merriam-Webster)

I think the politicians need to understand the usage of the term clearly. I reckon they wanna be '2' and/or '3' i.e. morally strict/markedly simple or unadorned. Ummm...hey wait! Wasn't the nation up in arms against moral policing not-so-long ago? Ah...so that's what they mean when they say the public has a short-memory!
Being simple or unadorned is one thing but giving little or no scope for pleasure is quite another altogether now, innit?
If people who can afford more than your simple economy class are gonna travel economy class, can the people who travel economy class be allowed to travel business/first class in their stead then? I mean, it is a large population that this nation supports. If the elite travel economy, the aam-junta sure as hell ain't gonna be able to travel economy! For starters, thanks to the entourage of the VIPs, there's gonna be less space for the aam-junta to travel in! Obviously, the politicians will need another quota in the economy class since their plans aren't always in place 60 days in advance now are they? And well, let's not get started on the security issues. If I am sharing the same facilities as a VVIP, I am gonna be subject to quite a security check aren't I? Please, respect my privacy...I dislike being frisked by over-grown males! And well, the fact that they become an easy target for whoever seeks to do harm is another story altogether!
Why do it, I implore? Will the Gandhi parivar please spare us these muddled attempts at setting dumbass examples?
What are you saving for anyways? Aren't you trying to infuse liquidity in the economy with your fiscal and monetary policies? Well, isn't bureaucratic travel a part of the fiscal expenditure? Aren't you supposed to increase that? (Anyone who tries to friggin tell me that this isn't exactly the kinda fiscal expenditure that should be increased will get six red marks across their face...sarcasm, learn to recognise it sometimes.)
Elections must be near...I can see no other reason for such bright wisdom...
Apologies to all those readers who were looking forward to something better than politics in this space!

The Monsoons and Me!

I watch the lashing rains from the comfort of a shelter,
In the downpour, I see people run helter-skelter,
Umbrellas, raincoats and some outdated gum-boots,
Overjoyed young kids, lending the rain their hoots,
Nature in all it's splendour all over and all around,
Everywhere I look, something sprouting out of the ground,
Young couples on their bikes, riding for the monsoon thrill,
Then together over a hot cuppa chai, they drive away the chill,
Not long ago, I rode those narrow winding roads,
Sat on those rocks with her and those croaking toads,
Now I watch them pass me by, my lush green mountains in all their glory,
Wonder when sitting here in the dry, became what is now my story...

Forget-me-not and Bluebell! Found again!

I had been looking for the lyrics to an old song we had been taught back in school...had searched the internet without much success...and then, I have been saved by Tommy Leonard, from Maleny, Australia. He has been kind enough to post the words here. I am hugely indebted to the kind gesture and do thank you with all my heart Tommy, if you are indeed reading this! Thanks a million! Well, to my school-mates, here are the lyrics-


A forget-me–not said to a bluebell one day,
"Why do you hold your head down in that way?
Why don’t you hold your head up to the sky?"
"Alright", said the bluebell , “Alright, I’ll try.”

Forget-me-not and Bluebell are very friendly flowers,
They talk together in the garden for hours.

Bluebell lifted her head, and it started to rain,
Her head filled with water and crashed down again,
"Oh dear", cried Bluebell, "that hurt quite a lot!"
And none was more sorry than her friend Forget-Me-Not

Forget-me-not and Bluebell, are very friendly flowers,
They talk together in the garden for hours,

Then Forget-me-not knew 'twas a silly thing to do
To ask her friend Bluebell to look to the blue
God made her that way, with her head hanging down,
To see all the beauty that's down on the ground.

Forget-me-not and Bluebell are very friendly flowers,
They talk together in the garden for hours.

She's Alive!

After 2 months, I finally revived my first love back to full health! Was planning on reviving her after I began earning but it's been 2 months now and I couldn't stay away much longer...I love her too much!
:)
I'm incredibly happy today!
:)
(Smileys et al!)

The Chase Theory

All men are ambitious and would like to achieve something substantial in life...but here's the thing, the only reason men want anything is the pursuit of women. Eventually, there are 3 outcomes-
1.They get what they were chasing but they were so busy chasing, they lost the woman...
2.They get the woman but they were so busy with the woman they lost what they were chasing...
3.They either get both or neither but lose themselves...
Sad I know but a cent percent true!

My Playlist

I have 186 songs on my phone...only 9 on my playlist...and I haven't heard the other 177 in 2 months now...waste of a lotta storage space I'd say!
Well, each one of those songs, has some very special memories linked to them...here are the 9-
1. Nothing Else Matters (The lyrics are just hauntingly true! The tune, simply immortal!)
2. The Reason (Always reminds me of what a moron I am and how much of whatever I have had, is credited to all those wonderful people that love me and keep forgiving me for all my goof-ups.)
3. Goodbye My Lover (Every word seems to have been written for me.)
4. Lips of an Angel (Was sitting with a lot of my family one night, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. when she called...incidentally, I had heard the song just moments ago on my brothers playlist! Life's just ironic sometimes eh?)
5. I Wanna Be A Rockstar (Like who doesn't? They've put everything just perfectly in that song!)
6. Kuch Is Tarah (Someone did really take away a lotta pain with those words...still does!)
7. Sound the Bugle (Incredibly inspiring when you're feeling low!)
8. Road Trippin' (I'd love to do that someday...it's like the once in a lifetime experience...leaves me with some unfulfilled dreams to look forward to!)
9. Iris (I really would give up forever...bah hambug...but I don't have forever do I? Darned mortality!)

I put this here so years later, I can come back, read and recall all those wonderful memories I've left behind!
Btw, I enjoy nothing more than putting words to a tune. I wish I was a little more musically endowed. Would've loved to write songs! Ah well, I guess I'm left with trying to put words to someone else's tunes. I write most of my poems listening to these 9 songs. Most of them, follow the tune that's playing in my ears at the time...something you didn't know for you there!

I wonder how, I wonder why...

In the silver in front of me,with familiarity I'm faced,
A million times over his features my eyes have traced,
A likable front that he's always trying to show,
I see through him though,he's not a nice man to know,
As I stare for longer,I'm perplexed even more,
He is loved even now,perhaps more than before,
I close my eyes wondering all the while,
Everytime that she looks at him,why does she still smile,
She knows him better,better than I do,
His facade I see,she sees right through,
His faults so brazen yet she seems not to mind,
Closer to herself,him does she bind,
I'm scared of him,but him,she doesn't seem to fear,
I look on bewildered but to her it seems clear,
I'll never quite fathom,what it is about her,
All I know is she loves me despite me,for now n forever...

My Flittering, My Fluttering Heart

My flittering, my fluttering heart,

Loves you, loathes you, in spurts and starts,

Sometimes, it's your memory, that it fights,

Sometimes, it's your dream, that makes it right,

Sometimes, in your words, that it drowns,

Sometimes, in your thoughts, that it frowns,

Loves you, loathes you, it can't stay apart,

My flittering, my fluttering heart...

...I wonder what happened to sarcasm...

The Wobbly Bridge between Mars and Venus : Being Out on a Limb

Guys, love being able to prove they're macho, it's no hidden secret. Girls know that and they see past all the false bravado almost all the time. But the whole charade that guys put up, isn't in vain because somehow, girls like the elaborate efforts being made to woo and impress them. But you know what really clinches the deal with women? When they see the guys vulnerable and susceptible. Guys love trying to be macho but more often than not, when it's really needed, it's the women that are macho! The first step to solidifying that wobbly bridge, is often when it seems to be the weakest, when you dare to put yourself out on a limb. It's wonderful to feel that strong hand that pulls you in...the one you thought was always the weaker!

I read this, "One day your life is going to flash before your eyes. Make sure its a good show" on Subodh's blog and this was my comment there


You know what, they tell you your whole life flashes before your eyes in those last minutes but they're wrong...your mind is just thinking about the next minute not what went past...you know when your life flashes before your eyes? When you're taking a walk on the beach with the sand in your toes and the breaking waves in your ears...and you know what you see? Those long walks on the beach with the sand in your toes and the breaking waves in your ears!
So you know it's gonna be a good show, rest assured!

A Whisper...

"I miss you a lot but I don't often tell,
Sometimes I whisper, when I probably wanna yell,
I love you a lot but I don't say the words,
Sometimes I whisper cause I'm scared I might be heard..."

Bikram Wisodm

It's insulting when people make you a part of their memories...kinda means you're no longer a part of their present!

I'm Lonely Tonight...

A bit of a burden that I've carried to bed,
A whirlpool of emotions swirling in my head,
I wish I could tell what I'm feeling or why,
Might scream in anger or of loneliness I might cry,
I'm caught in the eye of my own storm,
My heart and mind, ravaged and forlorn,
I lie flustered, drained of all my might,
Don't say a word, just hold me warm in your arms tonight...

My Part Time Lover, My Full Time Friend

There's much to be heard but there's nothing i've told,

My heart is warm though your hand is cold,

I'm lookin in your eyes and i hear you talk,

Steal a touch from you as we walk,

You tell me your secrets softly in my ears,

Lean on my shoulders softly shedding tears,

We'll fight and be upset but only a while,

When we look at each other we know that we'll smile,

You're my guiding star in every storm, at every bend,

My part time lover, my full time friend...

(Inspired by that song from the OST of Juno)

Some things in life are meant to be, some things not,
Hopes that you've harboured, dreams that you've sought,
All that you bear, I'm sure that's a lot,
Across hurdles that you crossed, barriers that you've fought,
Make the most of what you have, don't let a moment rot,
After all that you live through, your memories will be the greatest treasure you've got...

What Davies Once Said!

From a bridge, I watch the setting sun,

Under my feet, I watch the river run,

I wonder why the passing cars won't stop,

Why people inside won't take in this picturesque backdrop,

Why friends prefer crowded places and a bitter brown drink,

When they could sit here in the breeze n watch the yellow star sink,

In the waning dusk,old wisdom i find,

Old lines from 'Leisure' come to mind,

'A poor life this, if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare...'

Multiple Identity Crisis...

I reckon everyone knows they have different sides to them.

I have multiple personalities...two of them actually...one is the guy that I really love, listening to him, talking to him, watching him interact with people, watching him as he goes about his own life with a 'devil may care' attitude, reading what he writes, watchcing him learn and so on... Then there is this other side...the one that enjoys listening to him, watching him in awe and always living in his shadow hoping to emulate him. The first guy is wonderful and always around when there's work to be done...when there's nothing to do, he somehow takes off somewhere, visiting occassionally in case there is something worthwhile to be done that'll keep him busy.

He came by today...left me feeling really upbeat...I hope he sticks around a little longer...

(Saurabh, you were right...that quote was out of place...like it a lot though, couldn't help myself so put it up!)

Helmets and seatbelts are necessary because people like me are given a license to drive!

~Bikram Snehi~

BIKRAM WISODM

"The most content people are those who don't take their dreams too seriously!"

BIKRAM WISODM

"The most beautiful people are those that don't take the person in the mirror too seriously!"

Leave me alone, let me be,

I don't wanna be like that, lemme be me,

It's not like me to be lost all the time,

Living in a dream, drowned in a rhyme,

I may love doing my crying in the rain,

And you're right if you think i'm married to the pain,

But as strange to you as this might appear to be,

Deep within, I am inherently always happy...

Think...

Some questions are awkward but what makes them awkward isn't the question itself, it's the unwanted answers to those questions that we know we'll get...
But that doesn't mean we stop asking those questions. The power of individual thought sets us apart from others...not thinking about something won't solve it nor will the problem disappear into nothingness. Think and you'll be able to get past it...don't think and you'll always be stuck with it.
I know I am repeating myself but I see a lotta people needing the advice...
Let yourself think...after great turmoil comes great joy. You can't side-step it...pain makes joy worthwhile...enjoy the pain too. After all, like i've said before, 'Life is worthwhile when happiness isn't a mere absence of sadness and joy a mere absence of sorrow.'

The way social events seem to go these days...

College is done with and alongwith it, so has gone student life. I'm having trouble adjusting with the change this has brought in on my social life. I am not really a foodie, I like good food but my life doesn't revolve around it. I eat just enough to live. (And my friends would assure you, it's just barely enough!) 

These here days, meeting any of my friends implies having to look for some common grounds to meet on. No longer is it as easy as an sms that says, "Quad...10ish" or something like "Boring lecture...lets bunk the second half..." or something that goes "Library, 9...we gotta start studying!" What might follow would be a movie or just hanging around college, chatting away to nothing or perhaps a sandwich and then a drive or just barging into a coffee shop and then spending 3 hours over 2 cups of coffee...I miss those days.

These days, there has to be an agenda, a definitive and elaborate plan. A plan, that invariably revolves around grabbing something to eat. Maybe I'm missing something but somehow, all meetings with friends revolve getting something to eat and then dispersing. I want conversations to revolve around more than what we wanna eat...come on guys, what's happening to us? Whatever happened to food for thought?

The predator and prey theory

Have you spent hours wondering why the good looking ones are hooked onto the not-so-good looking ones? I have a theory...
On the social circle, you're either a hunter or the prey... The hunters are those aggressive characters that are on the prowl all the time for the docile ones to pass by. When they find the weakest link, they attack and capture...
Don't be mistaken though...the good looking ones are the hunters most often. They might pretend to be otherwise but don't let them fool you...
If you aren't the timid, docile one and aren't really the predator either, rest assured you shall remain single!
This theory needs a little ironing...it's difficult to post from a mobile phone...more to follow as soon as i get my hands on a computer!

I wanna be...

I wanna be what you look at, from the corner of your eye,
I wanna be what you think of, when you're feeling sly,
I wanna be what you do, when no one's around,
I wanna be what you hide, and wish would never be found,
I wanna be what you crave, cause you know it's wrong,
I wanna be what you fear, yet for which you long,
I wanna be what you lust for, in your darkest thoughts,
I wanna be what you can't let go off, though you know you ought,
When you're feeling naughty, on your lips, i wanna be that grin,
But most of all baby, I wanna be your greatest sin...

A lame attempt at poetry in Hindi...

Har zarre mein nazar aata hai unhi ka chehra,

Na jaane kaise bana hai unse yeh rishta itna gehra,

Kaash hum suna paate unhe wo jo jhoomte patton se madhosh jhonka hai keh raha,

Kaash hum unse jata paate machalta hai jo unke khayalon mein, nadaan dil yeh mera...

Translation:

Everywhere I look, it's just her that I see,

Wonder how such a strong bond with her, came to be,

Wish I could tell her what the naughty breeze whispers, leaving the leaves dancing in glee,

Wish I could tell her how my naive heart flutters, with just her memory...

Yeah, I know...that was pathetic...in my cousin's words, that was as good an attempt as Rosesh's! No more wavering attempts, I promise!

Come to think of it, it's HILARIOUS!

When you've been kissed by a speeding truck, you tend to play those moments over and over again...especially when you manage to escape unscathed. (Touchwood...thank you dear Lord!) I was sitting on a bridge over a little river with the wind in my head and the whole scene ran again through my mind and I replayed all the thoughts running through my head in those moments. Here's what went through my head right then -

(I was returning home after watching the movie 'Transformers-Revenge of The Fallen')

"...why are people mad about that yellow car? I know it looks cool and is limited edition but no heritage...I'd much rather have a Ferrari...hmmm...no, wait...a Rolls...yeah right...get off your broke, unemployed butt and then we can talk..."

"Right turn, indicator on...keep your thumb there to turn it off later..."

(I look in my rear-view mirror and see a truck in the distance. I move from the left to the center of the road. I look at the truck again to make sure he is far away and he is. I see the Tata logo and I chuckle,)

"Imagine if Optimus Prime were a Tata truck...hehe...hilarious!" 

"The road's clear ahead, time to turn..."

BANG!

"Crap...Idiot...why overtake from the right?"

"Shit...Damn...I don't wanna spend the next 6 months in the hospital..."

"July again? Why do I always have a major accident every July?"

(I hit the tarmac...and my head hits the road hard too...)

"Hehehe...Full faced helmet...worth spending all that money on! Why are people stingy with their safety I don't understand. It's probably saved me a lotta injuries...remember that ad, coconut, hammer and helmet wala? Nice...saved my life again did that ad! God bless whoever made it!"

"Hmmm...God...GOD...I didn't disapprove of You or doubt Your existance! I was wondering what form You exist in...aren't You the egotist! Ok, ok, apologies...I know I don't have to restrict You to any form...I just like playing with such metaphysical ideas, You know that..."

"Let go of the bike now...Don't worry my love, I love you loads, it's best for both of us right now...hehe...you'd think I'm breaking up with her! Well, technically, we both are breaking up together, just hopefully not into too many pieces!"

"Dumbass, concentrate...Oh...wow...the wheels...crouch...yikes...pull your legs in...nice...close..."

"Damn man...my jeans...new pair right? Once again...friggin have to break in every pair with a fall. Hope I haven't torn them..."

"Get the number of the truck...MH-14-damn...I'm flipping 360...dude, how does it matter now? No one's gonna prosecute him anyways. Dumb legal system...well, not-so-dumb, I like it the way it is...a few loop-holes here and there are fine, I can live with that. A water-tight draconian legal system would be unbearable. India shining, the way it is!"

(The fall complete, the skidding over...)

(The first thing I can see is my bike...)

"Am I alive? Or is this the afterlife? No, I'm alive...I still see her lying down there...this can't be the after life."

(I stand up, my floaters are half out of my feet. I almost stumble back to the road with my first step...)

"Am I 'Unbreakable,' you know like Bruce Willis in that movie? That would be nice!" 

(My mind reboots...)

(My thumb suddenly is hurting and I see it completely red with blood streaming down like out of a faucet...)

"Damn...not-so-unbreakable!"

"Where the heck is all that blood coming from? Do I have that much inside me?"

"Damn man...now I'm gonna have to hear more lectures on how I can't drive...wonder what I did wrong this time though..."

(I go to my bike, push it to the side. There are a couple of motorisits that stop and are like - 'Dude! That was like so lucky man! The truck hit you and you came so close to the wheels man! Friggin lucky!')

(I smile, say thanks as he helps me start the bike, check the bike for damages, see she is still drivable, get astride her, it's some 200 metres to home...Look at the guy, he says, 'are you alright man? You wanna take a moment and sit down?' I shrug him off, say I'm fine, wonder what my folks would say and start driving back home...)

Silence!

I have nothing to do these days and so spend a lotta time analysing myself. I know, I was supposed to write, read, do something creative but from the comfort of home, somehow I can't get myself to do those things. I guess living out of home kinda makes me appreciate what I have even more.

Well anyways, in one of my self-exploration excursions, I closed my eyes and thought about all my friends...and then I thought about the times I'd been alone with them. I've had many a soul-searching conversations with my friends, sometimes even strangers that have then gone on to become good friends but when I tried to recall the things that they remembered best about me and it wasn't the conversations, the laughs, the tears, the poems or the places. They'd often told me that the part that they remembered most about me when I was gone, was the silence...the peace and tranquil of a silence that wasn't awkward or an abrupt end to a conversation but a tranquil silence that they hadn't found in the company of others.

I thought I was good with words but turns out, I'm better with silence!

What Bros Wouldn't do for Bros...

There is nothing in the world that a Bro wouldn't do for another Bro. Absolutely nothing...In fact, there is even a 40 page diktat with 150 articles on the understanding between Bros made ever so famous by Barney Stinson. Heck, a Bro would even sacrifice his life long love for another Bro.

But no matter what, there is one thing even Bros don't do for Bros...

When Bros go for movies together and in the interval when they make a beeline for the loo, if all the stalls are occupied and one suddenly opens up, no Bro could ever give up that stall for another. Blame it on the bladder!

GOD'S GOT AN EGO!

My latest post doesn't seem to have gone down well with Him...narrowly escaped coming under a truck...he seems to have an ego! Reminding me of His presence by letting me know how close I did come to meeting Him!

Apologies are in order it would seem...guess there isn't a need to confirm Him to a form is there? A more detailed discussion shall follow as soon as my thumb heals a little and I can type a little faster...

I'm pretty much fine besides a deep gash on my thumb. My Street though wasn't all that lucky...she's pretty banged up. Lotta damge on the front end and the right side. 

Thank you all for your love and affection...I'm really glad to have you around. I know I'm getting a little soft but it happens...especially when you've been kissed on the head by a truck. Don't wanna go without telling you how much I love you guys...really do...thank you for bearing with me over the years...

GOD

I think I am very stubborn (and I know you will agree with me!) I refuse to accept things when they are first told and have to disprove myself to believe in them wholly. Fortunately, this also means, that the few times when I cannot disprove myself, I stumble across some very good things.

This relates between me and God...me and my faith.

When you have a lotta time on your hands and are unemployed, you are forced to think about God. Everyone I meet, tells me to keep the faith, that there is a bigger plan for me...That God works in silent ways and eventually it boils down to advice that says I should go to a certain temple and pay my respects there...and that got me thinking.

My search for God or any trace of Him (I will not say Her...it doesn't friggin matter. It's a way you refer to God, grammatically. Nothing sexist about it. I know it rubs the wrong way with the women but deal with it.) My search, has always been circled in the search of a lack of reason to believe in the existence of God. I'd like to make it clear that I am a firm believer in His existence but to me, God must be infallible, omni-present, unbiased, untouched, unseen, unheard.  I do not agree with the philosophy of worshiping a single deity. Over a period of time, I think I have come to believe, we humans look up to immortal deeds and actions of mere mortals. Over time, their works are glorified and revered to the extent of being worshiped! History seems to smudge any distinction between fact and fiction over a period of time. I do sincerely feel, worship is an over-exemplified glorification of humans no different from you and me. The definition of God, to the best of this human's understanding, is unbiased, infallible, omni-present, unheard, unspoken, unseen, untouched and yet acknowledged, revered and maybe even feared...to me, the only known entity that fits the definition is TIME. No one though, seems to worship time. 

Then again, maybe it's just a form of tangent thought that I wanna play with since no one else seems to share it!

The Wobbly Bridge between Mars and Venus - Touched...

Martians cannot understand what those darned Venetians want from them when it comes to intimacy...for heaven's sakes, what's with "When you hold my hand, you hold my heart!" Even doctors dont hold hearts for crying out loud! Venetians attach too much importance to holding hands. They're crummy and sweaty when the weather is hot and when it's cold, it makes better sense to keep them stuffed in pockets. And what's with holding hands while at the movies? How the heck do you eat pop-corn then?

Venetians cannot understand why Martians can't hold hands...it's such a simple yet such a meaningful gesture. Why do they choose to slip their arms around the waist instead? Even in public? It is reassuring to have someone hold hands and bring comfort with their presence. Why is pop-corn more important than us? It's simple isn't it? "When you hold my hand, you hold my heart!"

Trouble is, all through our childhood, guys are taught they oughta respect women and almost all lessons are intended at developing a certain degree of reverance for them. Sadly, when they do come close to women, they respect them too much...or emboldened by the show of trust, respect them too little. Girls attach a lot of importance to touch...the right kind of touch. They need to be pampered but not to the extent of being molested. Reassuring touches go a long way in building up the relationship. Touch her too much and she will run away...don't touch her at all and she will be pushed away...

Guys, good luck finding the balance...girls, good luck with keeping it!

It's a Matter of Choice...

Nothing in our lives is forced...we make a concious choice after weighing all the options at hand. Some choices seem more difficult than others and at times, it seems we are left with no choice. It's interesting to note how often we find ourselves cursing fate and the bad hand dealt to us, opportunities that in hindsight we think we missed that someone else took advantage of...and it all seems to boil down to fate or chance. But it isnt!

Ever notice how many stories of successful people are often the rags-to-riches story...that they were down with nothing to lose and in that nothing to lose phase, how they found something incredibly good, fortuitously? But I kid not, it has nothing to do with chance...it's a matter of choice. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain so they made choices then, that they probably wouldn't have made otherwise. The choices that people make when they have nothing to lose are far different from the ones they make when they have much to lose. But it is a matter of choice. Greater risk, greater returns!

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you always have a choice. No matter how difficult the choice seems, there always is a choice. The fact that you care more for one set of options than another, leads you to classify one of the options available as the only plausible choice...

My point being, we make a choice...everytime and all the time. You do somethings for others and choose to head down some roads for their sake. Dont crib if you have chosen someone else's happiness over your own. Understand why you've made the choices you have...you'll be much happier...nothing happens by chance...everything happens by choice...whether you agree to this or not, is again, a matter of choice...

Funnily enough, this was written after losing badly in Poker...I thought it was all a matter of a bad hand dealt out but it wasnt...it was a matter of the choices I made on whether or not to play...

Sometimes life gets tough and you don't know what to feel,

You fall down, hurt yourself and you need someone to heal,

But when you turn around and look behind, all you see,

Your own shadow smiling back, saying "Well buddy, it's just you and me!"

What is it that gets us through life?

When everyday, you see new pain, feel the same old strife...

What is it that lets us smile?

When the world around us, can be so evil, so vile...

What is it for, that we wake up to reality?

When we know it is illogical, filled with insanity...

What is it for, that we do love?

When we know it's just for a few and with the rest it's always push-n-shove...

What is it that we seek out the good for?

When everything seems wrong, unjust and so much more...

What is it that I have sought, that I still do seek?

That I carry on for, even when my courage runs thin, my spirit stands weak...

Brilliant!

http://cgmvscgm.blogspot.com/2009/06/people-are-afraid-of-themselves-of.html

An Awesome Morning...

I have recently begun playing basketball early in the morning. Waking up at 6 for it. It's good excercise and decent fun yet, waking up that early in the morn can be a drag...especially if you've not been seeing sunrise for the better part of a couple of years. Everyone I know, is pretty much the same. I dont know any morning people.

I was walking to the court early in the morn at 6:30, half asleep and still with my mind elsewhere so when my phone rang, I thought I was dreaming...but I wasnt...it was indeed her call! Was the best start to the morning I've ever had!

Funny thing is, she, in all likelihood, is never gonna read this!

In search of time...

Have you ever wondered what is the first concept we come to grips with in life? TIME. Before we understand anything else, we recognise the existance of time. Infalliable, ever existant, ever changing, time. It is the most profound and the most baffling of life's components that intertwines itself into everything. Science or philosophy, everything is governed by time. If God is omnipresent, unseen, untouched, unheard, unspoken, unfelt, yet, acknowledged, feared and revered, i wonder, is God Time?

Conspiracy Theory

Sitting at home these days, I have little to trouble my little brain. Trying to make something of the time at hand, I pondered if I could come up with some great conspiracy to write a book on. So I thought of one, one that involved prying into the personal lives of people and keeping a tab on them all without their knowledge and in ways where they willingly put their lives to increased surveillance. Unthinkable, right? I mean what kinda incentive could be provided to people so that they put not just their day-to-day goings-on but also their views, opinions and deepest thoughts under subjugation? I didn't think that'd be possible or that I could come up with even a fictional scenario where people would willingly subject themselves to such a fate. Imagine a scenario where the powers that be worked so well behind the scenes, that caught people unawares, willingly subjecting themselves to extensive surveilance and policing. Impossible I thought...even if the government opened a private agency as it's front, people wouldn't be foolish enough to do such a thing...until I thought of what GOOGLE has done...imagine if it were really all that I was thinking of in a fictional scenario! So many have put so much of their lives online and with google and it's subsidiary organizaitions, the ammount of information they have about us, is scary...chats, blogs, photos, videos and so much more! The very thought that all that information could be misused, scary!

Yet, here I am, putting up my thoughts on blogger...if they are screening all that we do and this conspiracy theory does stand true, imagine the dilemma the guys snooping have...should they allow this post or not??? In fact, in my fictional scenario, the protagonist would be using this very openness of the secret to expose the scandal, by doing just this, writing a post! Am I the protagonist then?

(You now know, I am bored...as bored as bored can be!)

BIKRAM WISODM

Days spent believing your lies are a lot easier than the day you stop believing those lies!

The Wobbly Bridge between Mars and Venus - Changes

Guys are really funny sometimes...it's amusing to view them at the start of a relationship (the wooing phase) and when they're further into the relationship (when the wooing part is pretty much done!) At the beginning, the guys are pretty much the right mix of being macho and chivalrous...they'll hold open the doors and never allow anyone to criticise her, even behind their back! They'll be pliable and change to every little thing that the girl in their eyes asks from them...but that doesnt last long...unfortunately (for the girls i mean!) A little while into the relationship and out come the statements 

"Why do you wanna change me?" 

"This is what I am, take it or leave it!" 

And well the criticisms, well, they come tumbling out of the closet, in their face! What ensues later, isnt pretty, as you might well know!

It's equally amusing to see the gals in action! At the beginning, they are attracted to the 'bad boys' for their badness, so to say...into the relationship and out come the statements 

"Do have to do that?" 

"How can you say that? Don't you love me? Can't you change one thing about yourself for me?"

And girls don't like criticism...especially about how many dresses and shoes they have...

World without Engineers...

Without MECHANICAL ENGINEERS

Without ELECTRONIC ENGINEERS
Without COMPUTER ENGINEERS
Without CIVIL ENGINEERS
Without AERONAUTICAL ENGINEERS
Some sent me a mail with these attachments under the title "A World Without Engineers"

After going through the mail, I was glad for having all these engineers...but then that got me thinking...which kinda engineers am I least thankful for? So the Printing Engineers came to mind and all those books that we study because of them...then came to mind those darned Financial Engineers and the economic downturn...but then, someone else came to mind and I wondered why there wasn't a pic dedicated to a world without them...as I imagined a world without them, I was elated and at the same time, filled with despise for them, those darned TEXTILE ENGINEERS! Can you imagine a world without them?