Why?

Why is it that we mortals must always yearn?
For that patch of dream that within us does burn…

Why do we always live on in eternal hope?
That one day fate will in someone throw a rope…

Why is it that someone else we always seek for?
Someone to hold us close, to abuse and to adore…

Why is it that someone we need to bind?
For love to seek us out, when love is blind…

Why do we always look at the yonder?
And of things beyond we do always wonder…

Why is it that our hearts are always set?
On that one object that when we find we regret…

Why is it that we always will seek?
A ray of hope when despair makes us weak…

Why is it that we are always held in awe?
When our courage is mellowed and our spirits are raw…

Why is it that we always seek to be what we are not?
That we never find happiness in all that we have or have not got…

Why is it that the mind is always full of question and doubt?
When we know that the answers are within us, just that we choose to live without…

Distance

I am all but obvious to your presence,
You are all but oblivious to my existence,

And everytime I see you around,
I stumble like from under my feet someone’s pulled the ground,

And I see you laugh and I see you have a good time,
And I wonder, if ever I could be yours, you be mine,

But then reality strikes and strikes hard,
And my dream world is broken to a shard,

Cause never have we even exchanged smiles,
As we remain separated by a distance, a distance not measured in miles!!!

39 poems on this blog...
another 157 on paper...

that makes for a grand total of 296 archived poems!!!

and i havent even counted the ones i send over sms!!!

awesome!
am i a budding poet or am i a budding poet!!!

Access Denied!!!

The world around me is never short of something exciting (or to be more apt, something weird!) Went to the sports bar with Anthony the other day. The two of us are nuts about watching the games (EPL, football… for those ignorant of it.) and so are always heading out to the sports bar whenever we can and whenever there is a major game. The ambience is nice, they have a plethora of television screens and a big projector too and for Anthony’s sake, they serve beer too! Oh! And they have a small ring in case you are in the mood to shoot some hoops!
Well, anyways, coming back to the tale, we had gone on a Saturday evening to watch an Arsenal game. I walked in through the doors eagerly looking around for the best seats in the house. And then suddenly I found myself being stopped by a pair of hands! I wondered what the issue was and looked at the man in front of me inquiringly. I was informed I couldn’t come inside. My first reaction was there was a cover charge to be paid before entering. I was however pleasantly surprised when the guy said “Sorry sir, entry for people over the age of 18 after 6 p.m.!!!”
For the record, I am 23 years, 6 months and 14 days as of today!!! Hehehehehe…

PATIENCE...

Life is long, my patience short,

I must wait, but I simply cannot,

Cause if I do, life will pass me by,

And I dont wanna leave anything undone till I die...

But life doesnt really pass me by,

It just says I need to try,

A little harder, a little more,

Cause one fine day, I shall find my shore...

But when I do, I must know,

That all I treasure is cause life did show,

That nothing is for granted, nothing sure,

And what I have is cause my intentions were pure...


So I shall be patient and I shall wait,

Cause one of these days, I shall find the gate,

I shall have all that is due to me,

Cause my heart is honest, my spirit free...

Illusions!

I was talking to one of my closest friends after a long time today and had a very long and meaningful conversation. Getting into one of my very nostalgic phases, I remembered all the times spent together doing some of the craziest things that you could imgine doing in my hometown. I suppose she too was carried away by emotions and in a flow of nostalgia, called me cute. Me of all people!
Well, quite honestly, she had me believing it for a second there! Damn, the first time a woman calls me cute and my illusion is shattered instantly. For someone who looks at a mirror perhaps just once a day because it happens to be placed in front of the basin when I am brushing (whence I am so sleepy, I hardly notice my reflection...) I chose the most inopprtune moment to be passsing a shop that stocked mirrors. Who stocks mirrors, pray tell? Damn... Well, my illusion didnt last long and instantly I was aware of my mirror shattering looks and decided to spare the poor proprietor the misfortune of bearing the loss of a shop full of unusable goods. Ah well, atleast I can derive consolation from the fact that someone cared enough to call me cute (even if out of pity!)
Damn those mirrors!!!
Hehehe...

The foolhardy LEGEND!

I saw a movie alone the other day. It was called I AM LEGEND and starred the very talented Mr. Will Smith. Admittedly, I am a huge fan of his works. His ability to portray a host of emotions on screen is astounding and in a movie where he is supposedly the last surviving human, those skills were brought to the fore and although I am not a movie critic nor do I hold a keen eye for the same, I must say, it was perhaps the most stellar performance I have seen after Tom Hanks’ performance in CAST AWAY. You are welcome to differ if you must but the movie was wholesome in the facts that the story line was powerful, the concept almost brilliant and the graphics were phenomenal. I do hope the movie will accumulate atleast a few academy awards this time around.

But ofcourse you know well I do not write movie reviews so neither is this one. This one is another tale of my fool-hardy ways. (One of several you are thinking, I am sure and I would not dispute that.) so there I was, bored on a Monday evening with nothing more than mugging up Laws Regulating Capital Markets in India to look forward to. As has been the case since graduation, I decided I could afford a movie and hence proceeded to the theatre to catch this movie. I had seen the trailers some time ago and I was looking forward to it since long. I had been expecting a tad bit of suspense and had steeled myself to it. So in an almost empty theatre, I decided to sit in the centre to enjoy the movie to the fullest with no one around me for the next 7 rows on either side. The movie began well and I was truly enjoying the experience, that until the zombies came along! Damn, I confess for the first time ever, a movie scared the living daylights outta me! (Not that it was all that scary although if you caught me talking about it, I wouldn’t accept it. I have my foolish pride to safe-guard too!) Honestly, I was petrified when Will Smith stepped into the nest to save his dog. Even worse because when I looked around to see some nice human faces to comfort me, all I saw were empty red seats! Red of all colours! Damn those people at PVR’s design team!

Jokes apart, the experience was quite something. I recommend the movie, if you are anywhere as adventurous on life as me, you oughta experience it the way I did. The movie totally rocks… (and I so do not!)

P.S.:
Rahul and Sharoon: guys I really miss you. Cant find anybody as crazy to head for movies with me these days the way we did! Those were the days… Ah well, looking forward to catching up with you guys again! Wish I were back in RSCOE with you folks… Damn… I am getting all nostalgic again! Tears in the eyes and all… (Metaphorically of course…)

BIKRAM'S LAW...

MURPHY'S LAW:
"EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL."

BIKRAM'S LAW:
"EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL... ONLY TO GET BETTER THAN BEFORE!"

Somethings missing!

I aint ever wrong but I hate being right,
I am peaceful but I hate giving up without a fight,
I sleep in peace but I wanna stay up all night,
I have a clear vision but I wanna feel a clouded sight…

My feet are rooted to the ground but I wanna learn to dream,
I am always calm but I wanna learn how to scream,
I am polite and sweet but I wanna be bitter as neem,
I am composed but I wanna be bursting at the seam…

I know where I am going but I wanna be lost,
I always get warmth but I wanna feel the frost,
I am always assured but I wanna be tossed,
The price doesn’t ever matter, I wanna pay the cost…

My life has been brilliant I couldn’t complain much,
My life is simple and uncomplicated as such,
I figure I shouldn’t enjoy heaven so much,
I reckon its time this life felt a woman’s touch!

My Crush!!

I think I have finally found out what a crush feels like,
Just the sight of the woman and your heartbeats spike!

It feels very weird to be saying it this way,
But I think it started just yesterday!

The lady in question, I ain’t aquainted with,
Have seen her so rarely, she might have been a myth!

But yesterday as I sat in her presence,
She caught my attention, and left her essence!

All she did was look at me,
Dunno why but I felt my soul she did see!

And even now I cant get her out of my mind,
It seems suddenly, insanity I did find!

Her gaze, her walk, her hair, her talk,
And suddenly it seems to have stopped the clock!

Everything about her is really fine,
And I am thinking about the next time!

It’s just a passing phase (or so I hope,)
Cause given my condition, you might say I’m a dope!

I won’t pursue her, I wouldn’t even try,
The first step for me? Oh nigh, nigh!

I will be past this without many sighs,
But I know I shall forever be haunted by her eyes!

the simple life

We could head out for dinner and spend a lotta money,
We could have an expensive lunch and watch a movie so funny,
We could throw a wad of green at a club to dance,
But nothing could compare to sitting on the beach with sand in our hands.

We could head out for a wallet crunching coffee,
We could head out to have expensive ice-cream and toffee,
We could go and smoke a hukka so fine,
But nothing could compare to sitting on the kutta, especially after nine.

We could head out to that swanky expensive joint,
We could shop a lot with absolutely no point,
We could head out for a vacation and spend a fortune,
But nothing could compare to sitting at home with my bro and fighting over the cartoon.

Cause maybe I am weird or maybe I am just dumb,
Or maybe to life’s finer points, my senses are numb,
But the greatest joys that I seem to derive,
Are from those simple little things, we take granted for in life!!!

If all days could be spent driving up these roads!

It was a fabulous drive!!!
See you guys, thats what i drive down to khadakwasla for... you have gotta try it sometime...

THE QUESTIONS OF LIFE!

Isn’t it the endeavour of all of us to try and understand life? To try to understand where we stand and where we are heading? To try and understand why we are here and what is in store for us? So many unanswered questions, so many inexplicable events, and of course, the eternal question of what is this LIFE…
I will not lay claim to solving this problem, far from it. I know these questions are perhaps going to remain forever that – questions. Inexplicable and highly complicated questions. The answer to which perhaps would only be as complex as that given by Douglas Adams. Then what do I attempt here? I attempt what he left unfinished – the questions that you need a super-computer to formulate, the answers to which might eventually help us understand the need for our existence, the purpose of any and all life. Please do not expect me to give you a sermon on these questions because if you were influenced by my line of thought, the whole purpose of self-realisation would be defeated. Understand well that these questions arise of my own independent thought processes and you are free to disagree with the questions. If you could formulate your own questions based on what I have to say, that would be the beginning of your understanding of life as we know it.

Q.1> Who do you think is the master of us?

Q.2> Why do you think you cannot or should not do something?

Q.3> Can you justify all your words and actions?

Q.4> Are your actions such that you need to justify them to yourself?

Q.5> Is this life anything more than a dream?

Q.6> What are the chances of that inexplicable spark leading to life actually resulting in what we have with us today?

Q.7> Can we afford to waste any minute of the time allotted to us in this dimension?

Q.8> Could death be the eventual answer to all our questions? Or is it just another unanswered question of LIFE?

Q.9> For all the happiness and sadness around us, what is it that affects us most?

Q.10> (My favourite…) Where is the centre of the Universe? (For those who have read the earlier post, you have an undue advantage!)

Q.11> Should you really be wasting your life by worrying about the little things and the big things?

Q.12> Should you really worry so much about the puzzle of LIFE that you forget to live it?

Q.13> Are LIFE’s questions answered in our thoughts or in our actions?

Q.14> Is it necessary to question our existence or should we find the answers by living it up?

Q.15> Was this questionnaire necessary to help you understand that you worry too much? That LIFE is not about asking questions or answering them but more about making the most of the time in your hands? That LIFE will not be solved by pondering over it but by LIVING it…

(I love the Safari advertisement…) Remember, the only one that can stop you, is you!!!

Reading This BLOG!!!

Hey there,
I really am greatful to for reading this blog. I really appreciate the fact that you would come here to have a glance at my take on the events in LIFE.
I would be indebted though, if you would be kind enough to drop in your views in the form of comments here. There is so much i would learn from your feedback and so much that i miss out on because you do not express what you think of what i think. It would be both food for thought as well as a critical analysis of my own views and understandings in life. Please do criticise me, I desperately need the criticism...
Looking forward eagerly to your responses and comments,

Yours faithfully,

Bikram Snehi,
Mulling Over My Thoughts...

What??? Who is the editor here???

Have you had the displeasure of laying your hands on any of the special sunday editions of any the leading english dailies here? I must say, although i have a very open mind towards the views of the entire populace at large, i do not approve of what is being published in the newspapers these days. The content is not just dislpleasing, it is horrid!!!

Think about these topics that were prominently highlighted in the newspaper yesterday:

1. F**K BUDDIES!!!
   What the heck? Getting into physical relationships with friends just for the sake of having a little fun? Alright, call me backward or whatever but I really do not think individuals who indulge in such activities could ever be able to pursue a successful meaningful relationship in their lives, PERIOD. For a newspaper to have highlighted such a pathetic article is downright shameful. I am all for freedom of expression but I am also an advocate for responsible journalism. Making whores out of your friends (male or female immaterial) doesnt quite seem to be a view that deserves such propaganda.
   
   But what the heck, to each their own right? After all, it's your universe. But please for God's sake, do not pollute mine. You wish to publish these articles, you are free to do so. Please use the adult magazines or at most the Sunday coloured magazine section for that if you must, not that space where I search for both news and INTELLECTUAL views from the LEARNED.
   
   
2. WHO NEEDS LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS?
   
   Ah I think I have said enough. I wont comment on this one. This was a tad bearable but distasteful nonetheless.
   

For God's sakes, would someone please tell me where the editors come from?

Have I finally lost it?

Theres a man standing outside my door today,
He just stands there smiling, with nothing to say,
I look in the street and there are no cars outside,
All I see are people on their feet who simply seem to glide,
The birds in the sky aren’t flying,
They just hang in the sky without even trying,
I look to the ocean and the waves are frozen,
The fishermen don’t wanna go in even though their nets are woven,
I look to my dog and he just seems to stare back at me,
Its as if something under my skin he does see,
For a second I wonder if I am really dead,
But I aint filled with a feeling of fear or dread,
I just wanna walk away from the room,
Theres something here that puts me in a gloom,
But then everything is suddenly back the way it should be,
The man outside seems to have been set free,
Was I imagining or dreaming it all,
Or was I finally losing my mind so small?

Soup for my Soul

When I have got myself in a mess I know,
Gonna have you there to show,
The right way and redirect my soul,
And say come on lets go!

When I cant think straight,
And I need a double take,
You always could make,
It all clear in a single stake!

Lets relive those memories,
And leave the care to the bees,
Come to me with remedies,
From five or six or seven seas!

Come and tell me what you are going through,
For all those memories so good and true,
All those stories both old and new,
And I know now, I really really needed only you!!!

Making new friends, having a lotta fun,
Working myself tired, relaxing in the sun,
And yet somethings missing, oh yes its true,
Cause after all, its just another day without you!!!

more than that...

I am in love and I’ll always be hers,
But she don’t care, she loves someone else,
And then there’s this girl who’s so in love with me,
But spending my whole life with her, I just can’t see,
I have a dream that’s more than just a 9to5 job,
All this education can only from me, my dream rob,
I wanna move up in life and do so much more,
This time here has to be more than just a bore,
My generation is the future of the world and not just this nation,
We can hold higher than ever, just hand us the beacon,
But the older generation doesn’t understand,
They politic and use religion to get themselves a stand,
But I wont do it like everyone else,
I am not gonna let life take over and around me weave spells,
To put me in line with the rest and make it all mundane,
Oh! If only someone could understand me, I am driven insane,
No one understands what I am going through,
They just don’t care or know why I do what I do…

So after reading this, do you think a bond we share?
Do you think what we are going through I could have laid bare?
If you think we have something common in this rhyme,
Remember everyone was/has or will have been here at some point of time,
So don’t work yourself up, remember to take a pause,
Take stock and try to be more than just “A REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE.”

The Whisky Theory

My good friend Sumesh propounds a very effective theory. I met these guys over dinner today and well, as most boys nights out would have it, there was a little booze involved too. Well, I suppose you know that when boys sit down to drink, they will all talk about the different kinds of whiskies and the exquisite ones they had most recently. The ones that merit discussion ofcourse are the ones which involve either a really ‘embarrassing’ tale about one of the guys in an inebriated state (alright, no wordiness… inebriated = one of the guys who was smashed enough to call up his dad at 3 in the morning to tell him he would be home before 12!) or about a time when the whole gang was stupid enough to get sloshed so bad they had to rent a room in the hotel cause they couldn’t even get the keys into the lock, leave alone drive a car back to civilization! or about a time when there was free booze at an office party and everyone drank Jack Daniels!
Well, this last evening was about all that. (you know what happens when I sniff coffee so don’t even ask me if I have ever had a drink!) sarcastic as I aren’t, I suggested these guys oughta drink Jack Daniels more often. (In case you are as ignorant as a woman about alcohol, lemme inform you that Jack Daniels are a very expensive brand of whisky.) all the others sniggered at the thought but not Sumesh, oh no… he said he would do that. I said he better be prepared for bigger holes in the pockets or bigger savings. Sumesh said he would prepare for bigger earnings! He said (and I quote) “you cannot get rich if you do not aim higher. If I aim at having Jack Daniels on a daily basis, I oughta be earning steep! Hence, I shall have Jack Daniels more often!”
Well that’s one way of aiming high wouldn’t you agree? Get addicted to the most expensive booze around so that way, you have to earn more and in the process get rich!!!
There you have it – The Whisky Theory!

Losing My Way With Words

These are some of my patented and original quotes:

1. Its not the destination that matters, it’s the journey.

2. When the whole world is talking, shut up and listen.

3. I am silent because the distance between my ears and my brain is more than that between my brain and my tongue.

4. If I am staring at you, I am not ogling at you, its your soul that I am looking at.

5. My greatest fear is not dying, my greatest fear is dying without having bid you my last farewell…

6. This life aint enough for me… I guess im gonna have to live once more!!!

7. Failure is my middle name, so don’t be surprised!!!

8. I aint an underachiever, its just that people expect too much…

9. Love is over-rated, it over-promises and under-delivers…

10. Choices in life are as distinct as chalk and cheese…just that some people are scared of distinguishing between them…

11. Money cannot help you taste the soup you have bought, it just can help put it in front of you…

12. Don’t be stingy, spend all you can while you can. Else before you know it, your kids might be ‘pot’ting it away!!!

13. You can stop living, stop loving, stop breathing but for gods sakes, by no means should you ever stop reasoning!!!

14. The harder you try, the further it gets; the further you get, the harder it gets.


Some other Non-originals but favourites nonetheless…

“What goes around comes around.”

“Alls well that ends well, if it isn’t well, it isn’t the end!”

Of Bored Evenings...

Well I suppose you know by now that I have a weakness for the movies, if you don’t, lemme tell you that should anyone ever ask me for a movie, I cannot refuse. Well, more often than not, I am the one who initiates the plans. Today was no different and well, I really had an awesome time out with the guys. Today being a Wednesday was a holiday for me from the rigours of classroom teaching. Needless to say, I got up late, lazed around all day and then eventually in the evening when I decided my day resembled that of a vegetables, was moved enough to actually want to salvage something from the remainder of the day.
I was chatting online with Kappi in the evening and she told me she was heading for the movie “Shoot ‘em Up” tomorrow. Its one of those movies that have somehow skipped my attention so I was keen on catching it too. So I called up Rajiv and we decided to catch the 9 o clock show and Anthony decided to join us too. (uhh in case you are wondering, Kappi lives in Bangalore, thousands of kilometers away, so no, she wasn’t coming along for the movie.) Unfortunately enough, there wasn’t a single show for the said movie at either of the three multiplexes in the vicinity. Me and Anthony were hungry and really wanted to catch a bite. Rajiv suggested we head off to Café Leopold’s in town. Anuj was around town too so we told him to wait at Leopold’s for us. After grabbing a couple of beers, we headed down to Bademian’s for some grub and later walked down to the Gateway of India. Well, bang opposite the Gateway is the world famous Taj Hotel. Bang opposite the Taj Hotel was parked a BMW 7 Series. The four of us shutterbugs were posing outside the car when Anuj (upto his antics as usual!) talked to the driver in the car who was then kind enough to let us sit inside!!! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes… we sat in our first 7 Series today!!! That car simply is awesome! If I was not serious about the BMW being my dream car, I sure as hell am now!!!
Well, at half past midnight, we decided we needed to give ourselves a rest and head back to the hostel in time for CDG’s lecture in the morning. On the way back in the train, we had a pretty intriguing conversation about religion, politics and India’s partition. In three hours, we had had awesome chicken, great beer (which ofcourse is not something I can’t take credit for, yet…) seen two Bentleys, posed with a BMW, sat inside a 7 Series and had an intellectual debate. Ironically, my only productive activity since morning up until 9 in the evening, had been getting outta bed! Sheer waste of opportunity huh? Nonetheless, a truly eventful and satisfying albeit hot and humid, night out in Bombay.

Everythings Changed

Every things changed around me,
Every things changed within me,
Nothing remains untouched and pure,
Nothing remains certain or sure,
Can you sit around and stare into infinity,
Can you come and sit next to me for eternity,
Cause I really need to go back to what I was,
Cause I really need to remember I can still break those laws,
All I want now is to go back in time,
All I want now is to reach out with every rhyme,
Nothing remains but the seeds you had sown,
Nothing remains but now in my life a beautiful garden has grown,
As I grow I realize how much I have learned,
As I grow from all those times when for you I yearned,
And with time those wounds have healed,
And with time the love forever inside me lies sealed!!!

DISCLAIMER:

for all those who might wanna read into this rhyme, it's not a manifestation of my state of mind...

in these past few days i have been at a creative high!

you wont believe it but i have had these tunes running in my head and have tried giving them words now. this is my second one though by now i have forgotten the tune for the first!!!

in either case, i reckon they arent too bad... lemme know what you guys think of the lyrics!!!

BLOWING MY TRUMPETS

Where I go, I just don’t know,
My life is drifting with the flow,
I’m a tune that’s in your head even though,
I was an unknown song you heard on the radio…

Why I am here, I cannot tell,
Just trying to stay afloat with every swell,
Beautiful roses that make you stop and smell,
I am that gardener you wish you knew well…

In my heart does so much dwell,
Rising up always till I fell,
So much to put me in a shell,
I find my peace when I’m in hell…

With passing time, I grow,
Never a frown upon my brow,
So much that with me I tow,
And still, there’s always room for so much more…

Detachment

I have for long noticed how much people are attached to both material posessions and addicted to several behavorial habits. I am not quite there cause the only things I seem to be addicted to are coffee and eggs (yes, yes you read that right... eggs... I am a big time eggetarian!)

All my friends here are always being asked by their girlfriends etc. to quit drinking and quit smoking. I say guys, ask the girls to quit using their cell phones or quit applying make-up!!! I am sure they will stop asking you perform these impossible tasks!!!

Well, I needed to prove to myself that I ain't as weak as the other mortals around me. Hence, i have taken it upon me to quit on two of my life's addictions. Have had no coffee for the past ten or twelve days. Lets see how long I can stick to this regimen. I am sure Ill crave in sooner than you think. As far as eggs are concerned, fat chance of craving in for that. Haven't had eggs since August I think... I think I have had enough of distancing myself from eggs... Will start again after this festive season is over I guess...

BROKE!!!

If all days were like today,
Lazing in bed with no POA,
Reading and writing with nothing to say,
I guess it happens when you have no money to pay!!!

INDIAN AUCTION!

Aren’t arranged marriages like auctions? Think about it, your parents are basically hoping to put you up for sale and also trying to get the best bargain in terms of buying themselves your other half! Seriously, I have studied several types of auctions, forward auctions, English auctions, dutch auctions, Japanese auctions, backward auctions so on and so forth. I suppose the concept of an arranged marriage is the home –grown version of an auction, the INDIAN AUCTION!
Have you come across any other culture that propagates the sale of the children of their house (it might be a tad over-fetched to call arranged marriages that but all the basic necessities of an auction are here!)

You have an auctioneer, usually in terms of someone who knows both the parties.
You have the sellers and buyers in terms of the families of the ones to be married.
You have a bid and someone to declare the bid as closed!
You have the basic malpractices of an auction too such as mis-representation, failure to deliver the promised goods, etc!

This of course would be a special type of auction where both the parties are both the sellers and bidders! There you have it then, an auction for your kids so they may be married!

Ten Ingenious Ways of Committing Suicide!

Here is my pick for the top ten ingenious ways of committing suicide:

10. While in a car with a guy at the wheel, tell him he is a bad driver. (there are a few things that men are more insecure about than their driving.) There are two things he would consider then – a) telling you to get out and hitch hike (in which case this wouldn’t really work towards suicide) b) proving his driving skills by pushing the pedal to the metal! (which of course is what almost all testosterone driven male brains would command them to do… unless they are gay ofcourse!)

9. Tell one of the women in your life they are over-weight. (this is what women are most insecure about. If men would drive you to death (literally) women too will thence prove they are adept at driving you to death too (albeit metaphorically!)
(this method is effective, unlike that with men, regardless of the sexual orientation of women, cause straight or lesbian, no one likes being called fat!)

8. Spend an evening discussing the financial markets with any one of the quartet of S.A.A.P. (some of you might miss the joke here but the four letters stand for four of the seniormost citizens of my class… hope you get the idea!)

7. Obtain admission in NMIMS, pay a fortune as the yearly fees and wait for summer placements!

6. Get accommodation at the G.R. Jani Boy’s Hostel (especially room no. 40!)

5. Try matching your wits with a certain Mr. Subodh Mallya. (though he is the one man that keeps me going in this city! What can I say, I am weird!)

4. Store all your information on your lappie, then instead of formatting the pen-drive, format your hard-disk by mistake! (you think that’s funny? I am sure Mehul would tell you a different story!)

3. Head off on a long drive with Ms. S A and Ms. A D for company. (although girls, I am not saying I wouldn’t come along! And I still love you guys! If you notice, I have done almost all of the things mentioned on this list and have come out trumps! I am still alive and loving my life… which kinda makes this list redundant huh?)

2. Read this blog… that too on a regular basis!!!

1. Fall in love!!! (Oh! Need I say more?)


*oh, and in case you aren’t satisfied with the results, you can always treat me to a couple of coffees. I am sure I might be able to work out something a tad more effective for you then!!!
Although, you might wanna have a word with Anuj Tagra Kanak Durga before you take this step!
(edited at the behest of the aformentioned!)

Some Forgotten Songs...

Hey, any Vincentians out there? In fact, anybody else who might be able to help me reconstruct these songs is welcome… I think it was way back in the third and fourth grades that I had sung these. Wonder where the lyrics now lie in some god forsaken corner of my mind…

Well, here is the first one… its called FORGET-ME-NOT AND BLUEBELLS…

A forget-me –not said, to a bluebell one day,
Why do you bend your head in that way?
Why don’t you lift your head up to the sky?
And bluebell replied, “Alright, I’ll try…”

Forget-me-not and Bluebell, are very friendly flowers,
They talk together in the garden for hours…

Bluebell lifted her head, and it started to rain,
Her head filled with water and dropped down again,
God had made her that way, with her head hanging down,
To see all the beauty that grows from the ground…

Forget-me-not and Bluebell are very friendly flowers,
They talk together in the garden for hours…

I know I am missing some verses here or have probably jumbled up the verses… damn, if I could only remember the whole song properly.


Here is the second, its called “IT’S A SMALL WORLD.”

It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears,
It’s a world of hope and a world of fears,
Though the mountains are wide,
And the oceans divide,
It’s a small world after all.

CHORUS:
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small, small world

There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone.
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small small world


I found the remnant lyrics on the net, couldn’t remember the second stanza… but as far as forget-me-not is concerned, I still cant find a source… please help!!!
and hey if you remember any other songs, please feel free to remind me of them... its nice to go down memory lane, "in school with you, back in 1993!!! "

who am i???

Well, I suppose by now you are well aware of my dislike for Mumbai. I hope you know that the city and its people are changing me too as my stay in this city progresses further. And I shall tell you my dilemma here.
When in a small town like Pune, (although I prefer spellin it as Poona…) if a random stranger came to you for help, you wouldn’t really shirk away. In fact, more often than not, the people in Pune go out of their way to help even random strangers. I say this because I have been that random stranger at the receiving end of benevolence. And never have I ever thought twice before helping someone out either. I take it upon me to atleast hear out to someones plea for help and if it is genuine, I do make sure I help them. Then it could be a beggar on the street or someone who just met with an accident it would make no difference. And my 22 years of the finest upbringing in my beloved city are now coming to nought. The other day, I was walking down to the hostel from the railway station and there was a man lying there on the footpath. As I passed by, he opened his eyes and asked me something. I generally prefer walking with loud music in my ears crooned from my walkman so did not comprehend what he had just said and continued walking. Not a first for me because I have recently learnt to ignore the scores and herds of aggressive beggars on the streets of this “wonderful” city!
Then again, for some reason, I took a double-take on my decision and as weird as it may sound, I turned back and walked back to him. (much to the surprise of the both of us.) well all he wanted was help in getting a rick to a nearby government hospital cause he had fallen and apparently broken his leg. And no, he wasn’t very well off but was capable of fending for himself. He wanted absolutely no monetary help just physical help with getting up and getting in a ric. Have I really turned into such a Mumbaikar that I wouldn’t listen to the pleas of my fellow human beings? Have I become so self-obsessed and materialistic that I judge people on their exterioirs? Have I really become all of that and maybe more? I wont let this happen. I am not what I am turning into… someone drag me back to myself, PLEASE!!!

NOTHING...

I stood and stared,
As the ocean before me flared,
And I thought of all those old memories,
Happy and sad, they make such wonderful stories…




The waves rush to the shore,
With every lash, they claim a little more,
And I thought of all my friends of mine back home,
Such wonderful people that my life till now has known…




On the distant horizon,
The sun bonds the sky and the ocean,
You thought now, it was such a beautiful sight,
But I fail to appreciate it, I’m empty and feel nothing inside…

Chalk and Cheese...

We have a lecture which deals with “Values in Management” that is taught by a Guru. With due respect to both the management of the college and the members of the cult that our guru belongs to, I do not quite ascribe to the values he dishes out. If you know me, (which is a safe assumption now that you are reading my blog!) you know I am someone who delves deeply into questions that pertain to our existence (and am capable of coming up with the most ridiculous of solutions to rid me of boredom!) This lecture is quite a mixture of boredom and a challenge to my intellectual prowess and when he forayed into the eternal conflict between the heart and the mind, I could no longer take it. I inquired as to what the thought was the right mixture of using the heart and the mind when quite obviously, the two seldom seem to concur on any given debate. Well his response was that there is always a middle path.
To illustrate, he gave us an example of a diabetic who may either enjoy the “sweet” life or enjoy the sweetness in life by not indulging in such pleasures. He proposed that the best solution is to take the middle path and consume small amounts of sugar hence enjoying the best of both worlds. Well sir, you are correct but what would you suggest if it was a problem pertaining to love? (yes, yes… I did put it in front of him… you oughta expect that from me now!) I must say, he did dodge the bullet very well by arguing that we could arrange our love marriages. The “Middle Path!”
Well quite frankly sir, I must say it is the easy way out. If you keep taking the middle path, you aint getting anywhere in life. Like the rest of the millions and billions of Indians running in this rat race of life, the ones that walk the middle path shall end up right there- in the middle, of somewhere, anywhere and nowhere. I am not living this life to end up like those billions of also-rans who will end up nowhere but get those little joys in life. I am here to live life on my own terms and I want to live a life that is subject to intellectual impulse. My decisions are either based on logical reasoning (yes saurabh and rohan, I see you rolling on the floor with laughter…) or simply impulse (which form a majority of my decisions, I do concede…) To me, everything is as different as chalk and cheese. I am either on this side of the river or that, I do not wade in between. I am not someone averse to making a decision and neither am I one to shirk away from the repercussions of my decisions. There is room for both joys and sorrows in life, without one, the other is pointless. I have always lived on the edge at either extreme. I hate the middle road and those who would compromise on it… and I despise those lectures in Values in management. Like a friend of mine propounds (and what I learnt the hard way) do not preach or impose your views on others. The best way forward is to lay the options and let the protagonists decide for themselves. As I have for long said, do not spoon-feed. Let everyone think for themselves. Do not be a contributor to “The Death of Reason.”
Everything is as different as chalk and cheese. Both have completely different uses in completely different situations. Please make a choice between one of them and do not make a cheese cake with chalk (if you wanna eat it that is…)

stuff i read wen i was just generally bored

the most elgible bachelors, remain eligible for the most time!!!


Q:what do you prefer- guys/girls?
A:i like a group of guys... but i'd prefer one single girl anytime...


Is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf?
>> sure (if i do it... ) and of course not (if she wants to do it!)


Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
no i generally prefer women...

MY FIRST LOVE!

So many places with you I have been,
So many sights with you I have seen,
You always gave me strength, deep within,
You stood by me through thick and thin...

When I say I love you, I mean every word,
You gave me wings to soar higher than any bird,
I always soothed out, the minute your sound I had heard,
You are the reason that all my sorrows lie blurred...

How mad am I, that for you this poem I write,
When there are beautiful women on whom, dote I might,
But I’d rather have you for company, day and night,
Cause you are my first love, my sweet, my reason for delight!

My Endless Conflict (contd.)

You know there are three kinds of people in this world- there are those that dream and live their lives chasing them, then there are those who are practical and look for realistic and practical solutions to everything in life, and then, somewhere between the two, confused as can be and the master of indecision, is Bikram…
Let us talk about the dreamers- This group of people are the most wonderful people on the face of the planet. Their conviction in whatever they seek to accomplish is unparalleled and they are perhaps the most driven people on this planet. Defying logic and long-held norms, they believe in doing what they feel is right deep within and are those who live every moment of their lives because they aren’t the ones who will be caught wondering what if. If it is out there, it is out to be theirs. There is so much you can learn from them, living for the moment, not being overly concerned about the future and believing in the power of dreams. It doesn’t matter how outlandish the desire, if it can be done by them, they will pursue it no matter what. And that must be a good quality else nothing in this world could ever have been accomplished. Life would have been stagnant, life would have been boring, life would have been monotonous and life would have been… no… actually, life would not have been what it is!
The realists are the ones that keep the world in check. These are the practical people who will always try to do things in a manner, which would have a very high probability of success. These people look for practical solutions to every problem. The people who have their feet firmly rooted on ground and are not expansive with their expectations from life. These people will compromise on their wants and desires and lead a very content life. There is much to be learnt from them too, living for a future, having realistic goals of where you can be in life, being prepared for failure and having a contingency plan. And these too must be good attributes else the world would be a haphazard place with no controls in place, a world without order, a world without logic, a world full of commotion. Life again would not have been what it is!
And where do I stand? Somewhere in between. Somewhere wondering what is the right thing to do. Somewhere chasing my dreams and wondering if I am doing the right thing. Somewhere being a realist and sacrificing my desires and dreams for the joy of those around me. Somewhere making compromises with my heart because my mind takes precedence. Somewhere where I never wonder what if, I just ask myself why I did not. Somewhere where I do not understand which path I must choose. Somewhere battling within myself and always wondering what is the right thing to do. I am talking about my career, my aspirations, my friends, my family and of course, love…and at the crossroads of where I stand, wondering which path to choose. If only I had someone to stand by me and help me with the decisions. Then again, it is a question of wishes being horses… Ah! Life… or something like it…

The chronicles of coffee…

I have an adverse reaction to coffee. I really lose sleep if I have had coffee anytime in the day and then I cannot sleep at night. Well, I have now been banned from coffee and here is the reason why…

Yesterday, I was kinda hungry in the morning cause I hadn’t had breakfast and then instead of havin something to eat, I decided to have coffee… and then another one… Big mistake… Well, I was really in tune for the exam I had but the trouble started after that. I was already feeling the effects and was really light headed. Well I also said some things to some people that I probably shouldn’t have. But that’s another story altogether.

While at the hostel in the evening at around 1 a.m. had the craving for paan. So I rounded up these guys and the four of us were on our way to juhu. Once there, we had paan and sat down chatting till about 130 when the cops chased us away. Well, my dear friend Anthony suggested we go to Bandra Bandstand instead. Jaggi was in his own parallel dimension and before he knew what was happening we were all packed in the ric. (funny thing too, at 330 while we were walking down carter road, Jaggi says he remembers Anthony saying something about putting him in the ric before he realized it… Wow a two hour delay before a reaction was evoked! Talk about being lost!)

Anyways, Bandra wasn’t much help either. Walking down the promenade, the cops chased us away again. Then Anuj remembers he had coffee at CCD, Carter Road at 3 in the morning and that it is open till 4! So, once again, tempted by coffee, we decided to walk down to Carter. (and we also had coffee from these unique coffee vendors of Mumbai. These guys travel around with a huge kettle of milk on bicycles selling tea coffee and smokes. Really, these guys are a blessing. Dunno what the night life in Mumbai would have done without these guys to keep them awake!)

Well I must admit, Bandra is really beautiful, especially at night. The beautiful catholic bungalows still standing with an old world charm about them. Haven’t seen a more beautiful set up in Mumbai yet. Well, maybe not as beautiful as the marine drive but comparable nonetheless. And as we walked on for the next hour or so, we talked about movies, the problems in Kashmir, plans about quitting the first job and backpacking on a euro trip, buying your first BMW 7 Series and going off on a road trip through India and how quickly these three months have passed us by.

And we eventually reached Carter road and walked the 999m from one end to the other for the coffee shop. Well, if you haven’t guessed by the turn of events of the evening yet, let me tell you that CCD was closed and that they close at 1 a.m. Mr. Anuj Tagra, GSAT… so 4 a.m., Carter road, and four hungry guys. Next destination? How about Bade Miyans at Lands End?

Well thankfully, we ended up going back to Vile Parle and had coffee outside Cooper Hospital. We were back in the hostel premises at 430 and were in bed at 5… oh and needless to say, Anuj has banned me from ever having coffee again, period…

STORY OF MY LIFE

(for all my buddies from back home in pune… and a few new ones here in Mumbai… cant live without you…)

There are so many stories to tell,
All those days of careless fun,
So many memories that make my heart swell,
Those days spent out in the sun.

Long drives with all my pals,
Long chats with all those friends,
Those crushes on cute gals,
Walking with ‘em to lands end.

That hand I held for one last time,
Still wonder if I was wrong,
When I bid her farewell with just one line,
Amd walked away with a sad love song.

Then I fell in love again,
So much that has come and gone,
With life, myself and all my friends,
So much that must still be won.

This is the story of my life,
And I write it everyday,
And I hope that you are by my side,
When I am on the last page…

(a short lived obituary… hehehe… punny eh???)

Obituary...

This used to be the one place i used to come to find myself completely energised and refreshed. No longer do i see the same effect here nor is writing a pleasing task to me anymore. All i have posted in the past few days has been depressing and dark. After long contemplation and about three second thoughts, i reckon the time has come to lay this blog to rest, atleast temporarily till i can find my love for writing again. MBA sucks, as does Mumbai... There i said it...

Well anyways, my blog has started feeling redundant to me. I am getting bored of it now. I don’t see the point anymore. Why write at all? Few bother to read it and with good reason too. How boring is it to read the ramblings of another individual? I think it is time this space found itself an obituary. So here goes:

“Here lies a part of Bikram Snehi’s life. A place where he tried his hand at the concept of writing and was moderately successful. This space has provided a glimpse of his thoughts and his life. Another chapter in his endless search of life and his resolve to live a hundred lives in one. In this space lies one of those hundred lives, his memories and a part of his soul. He shall be dearly missed by some and plain missed by others.”

In short, I wanna move on beyond the blog for now. Again, I might revisit this thought of mine in another few hours and decide to continue writing because it is so much a part of me. Yet, for some unknown reason, I did not find a meaning to continue writing today.

Deeply aggrieved at my own loss,

BIKRAM SNEHI… still mulling over my thoughts…

(I welcome you to post your obituaries here too should you so feel the urge... And please do not try to get me back to writing again, it is inevitable that i shall return but how long before such an eventuality, I am unsure. So until then, RIP...)

Infinity

Looking at the horizon I ponder over life,

I wonder why everything I do seems to bring strife,

I realize now I am way too complicated,

If only I could only understand that my destination has already been fated,

My life and its problems seem so trivial,

When I see the waves screaming all jovial,

I wanna escape to a world of serenity,

Away from the finite joys in this life and into the world of infinity…

goodbye my lover...

(these are divine lyrics that i so wish i had composed. yet, they lie immortalised by james blunt. at 2 in the night as i sit all alone with these words being crooned in my ears and an economics book in front of me, i am teleported to a time not so long ago. these lyrics do well to summarise my thoughts and situation in that period. if you haven heard the song, do get your hands on it and listen to those divine words in that divine tune... and i would appreciate it if you wouldnt comment on this at all... anyone... i am so hollow baby, im so, im so, hollow...)

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I need to take a long run on the beach...

A zest for life is coming back to me,
I am everything i ever wanted to be,
I dont need wings to take me high,
I just feel that today I can fly,
I just am so glad i had a conversation today,
With my friends from so far away,
I realised how much i have transformed,
From being the carefree soul who left everyone charmed,
But no more shall i disappear into a world of my own,
This world I live in is more beautiful and it i must adorn,
I know i must break out and pick up what i had begun,
Cause all the people around me are missing out on the fun,
And guys i am thankful and am greatful to you for being there for me, near or afar,
Am thankful to you for letting nothing else matter and holding me so close, no matter how far!!!

My Friends, farewell...

I don't think I have ever mentioned any names on my blog yet and today I am making an exception... I should probably have put this up the day you left but ever since I have realised I shall be bidding farewell to you, Rahul, and Appu, for a long time to come, I have only felt very hollow deep inside. Everytime I think about putting my thoughts in words, I am overwhelmed by all those memories, those late night dinners, those sit outs at e-square and a million other memories that I hold very close to my heart. I know that neither of you will read this blog much less this post but I want to say I love you guys, all of you. I love you for being there and guiding me through those dark days. I love you for showing me the light when all I saw was darkness. I love you for giving me strength when all i saw was weakness. I love you for caring for me more than I could ever care for myself. I love you for everything. I love you for nothing. I shall love you guys, all of you, Sarthak, Aperna, Avinash, Krupa and more than anyone else, you Rahul, till my dying day... You are a part of me that is being torn away but i shall not let life take the joy. I shall hold onto those memories and your friendship for my lifetime and possibly beyond. I love all you guys from the bottom of my heart... I shall miss you more than i miss my mind... I leave these lines here for you...

"It was not the moments of joy, nor the moments of strife,
It was the moments I spent with YOU, in which I lived my life."

and Rahul, this ones especially for you:

"We never care, we never bother,
No matter the joys, no matter the strife,
We live together, we die together,
Bad boys for LIFE."

Wrong Numbers!!!

You know how you get random people dialling the wrong number and then irritating you to death before they realise it is the wrong number??? How sometimes you wish they would have the decency to check the number before they dialled it??? How you wish they would just hang up before escalating matters further??? Well i do... I get many wrong numbers and then spend ages trying to tell them that it is a wrong number and in the back of my mind, i wish they wouldn't bother with all the talk and simply hang up...
Well, I thought wrong... I had never imagined how rude it might get to be hung up on the face. How discourteous it might be too! But I realise that now... I had dialled for a friend and well have three different numbers stored in the phone book so when i diallied it from my call list i didn't check the number. Well, it wasn't her when the call was received and as soon as I realised that, I assumed it was an Airtel screw up and so hung up... Unfortunately for me, it was her mother. That really must have been rude to have somebody slam the face on you so discourteously. (I did say sorry but it was rather a formality and very fake...)
Damn, what a dumbass idiot I can be at times. I should have realised my folly when I was speaking to her. I didnt and i hung up! Feeling really mortified... Should have called her up again to apologise but then thought that would be even dumber and didn't. Next time i dial up the wrong number, I am gonna have a long conversation before I hang up... And I really, really, really apologise to my friend and her mother for the inconvinience I have caused...
(If its possible, I am all red with embarrassment and have a really sodden smile on my face right now... Thank God you cannot see my face through this blog!!!)

Sleep on a Chocolate!!!

My life is simple and my solutions to most problems tend to be just the same, simple. In fact, my only two solutions to any problem are “sleep on it” or “have a chocolate…”

I mean it, I really cannot think of any better solutions than those for any problem at hand. I shall illustrate for your benefit:

1. You: “I am having a bad day”

Me: “have a chocolate”

2. You: “I am feeling low”

Me: “sleep on it”

3. You: “I am feeling bad about …”

Me: “have a chocolate”

4. You: “I did something bad today and am feeling guilty”

Me: “sleep on it”

5. You: “theres this gal I like and she doesn’t like me”

Me: “have a chocolate and then sleep on it”

6. You: “theres this guy I dislike and he keeps bugging me”

Me: “sleep on it and think about chocolates”

(this advice is obviously intended for women who for some reason need to watch their figures and will keep away from chocolates)

7. You: “I haven’t studied at all for the test”

Me: “have a chocolate”

8. You: “I had a fight with a friend”

Me: “sleep on it”

9. You: “I hate the food in the canteen”

Me: “have a chocolate”

10. You: “I am in a financial crunch”

Me: “sleep on it”

Hence I hope you have understood that the best advice you can receive from me is to have a chocolate and sleep on it… So the next time you are in a dilemma and need advice, first have a chocolate and then sleep on it. If you still need help, I am always here for you (but I am gonna give you the same advice so I dunno how that will help but anyways…)

(this advice though seemingly sarcastic and stupid is based on very scientific grounds. For starters, chocolate is considered by most doctors as a calming agent. Cocoa in the chocolate serves as a very good stress reliever. Sleep on the other hand, helps clear all doubts in our mind especially because it ensures our mind gets much needed relaxation. A combination of both of course is the best solution I can provide you because then you are much calmer and relaxed and in a better position to solve any probem with a clear head… don’t overdo it though. A chocolate a day and no more. Even that chocolate needs an outlet cause, as one of my best friends would tell you, there are infinite calories in chocolate. Not that she would ever need to watch them but she does so… Sleep is good but a maximum of 8 hours a day… don’t stretch it and don’t let it overwhelm your work schedule. So next time you are stressed out about something, sleep on a chocolate!)

I Want You to Know...

I want you to know, you give me meaning,

I want you to know, you are the reason I am living,

I want you to know, you are the spark in my life,

I want you to know, you carry me outta every strife,

I want you to know, you still give me goose bumps with your smile,

I want you to know, you I could recognize even from a mile,

I want you to know, you will always remain with me in my heart,

I want you to know, you I will love even if our ways we part,

I want you to know, I want you to feel, I want you to sigh,

Cause I don’t wanna leave anything unsaid when the angels ask me to fly…

Fooled by Love

WOW… I cannot believe I am writing this. For starters because I would be the last person to talk about being mature in love but I suppose as you grow older, experiences teach you a thing or two about life. I have recently been flooded by news of heartbreaks and new affairs all laced in tons of confusion and absolute madness. After long and detailed thought about what I might write here, I finally remembered this title that my stats professor had talked about. It’s a book called ‘Fooled by Randomness’ and is supposedly a very candid and sarcastic take on a lot of capital issues and how random their behavior is, how after much indepth research and analysis, the experts are brought down by complete and utter random behavior. This of course is much the same in case of love. Hence the apt title- ‘Fooled by Love.’

Love, (ironically coming from me) is highly over-rated. In fact, the people in the age group of 16-30 are so desperate to fall in love, they forget that they have a life to contend with too. So madly do they fall in love that there is absolutely no scope to continuing a normal existence governed by simplicity. So many believe that love is understood by them and is all about whether or not two people want to spend their lives in the company of each other. Yeah sure. If it were that simple, common sense wouldn’t be so uncommon.

The trouble lies at the root of all the relationships i.e. at the very beginning. People fail to understand that before you get into a relationship, you have to lay down the basic groundwork and a foundation built on the understanding of where you are heading and what your options are in the long run. I know it is stupid to be considering marriage after (or before) even the first date. Isn’t it obvious though, that such a discussion is absolutely essential to determining a successful and peaceful relationship? I have seen so many fall for each other despite knowing the obstacles that lie ahead of them and then later struggling to come to terms with their situations which of course snow-balls into a bad case of heart-break and heart-ache. Many go ahead with an attitude of ‘jo hoga, dekha jayega.’ Nahi boss, aise nahi chalta hai zindagi mein. You must consider your backgrounds first and foremost. You must essentially be able to understand the views your parents hold on the subject because no matter what you think, your parents are the ones who understand every bone of your character and will stand by you through thick and thin. They also know what is best for you and even if they don’t, it takes a very mature individual to tackle the situation tactfully. Sorry to admit it but in my young existence I have seen few and far between who might be capable of doing that.

Another thing to understand is of course the fact that the relationship might fail despite everything else falling in place. The groundwork might be perfect for the two of you but it still wouldn’t work out because essentially for any situation in life to work, there has to be some piece of imperfection. We humans are governed by an affinity towards imperfections. To state an example, what would you prefer listening to, a playlist which always plays songs in a particular sequence or one which uses a shuffle function to introduce randomness? The need to be mature enough to be prepared for unexpected twists and turns in love goes without saying.

To conclude, I suppose I would be telling you how important it is to be able to clearly define what you have and what you are getting into before you take that first step. To be able to clearly lay a path that you might tread and establish unshakeable faith in each other is quintessential to a successful and stress-free relationship. Yet, I admit there is every possibility of a relationship working out smoothly despite breaking all norms and being solely based on each other. Well, eventually in life we all are at some point or the other, “FOOLED BY LOVE.”

WORDS

Someone asked what defines my existence,

I pondered long and wondered about my pertinence,

What is the one thing I cannot live without,

That one thing that I have that I could flout,

Would it be something material I have like money or cars or a big piece of land?

But what would I do with these things that would one day be sand?

And then I wondered about all my friends,

Wondered about all the times we have spent,

All those memories I hold so dear,

Those moments of happiness, sadness, hope and fear,

I remembered all the times id been in beautiful love,

The times when my heart had fluttered as gracefully as a dove,

But nothing compared to my first thought, not the blue skies or the beautiful birds,

Cause dad and mom, I hold closest to me, all your beautiful words…

The Center of the Universe

Have you ever tried to quantify where the centre of the universe might be located? Actually do you believe that the universe could have a quantifiable center to it? After all, the universe is infinite so technically there could be no center to it right? Or in contrary terms, because the universe is infinite, I am the center of the universe. (talk about being self centered, huh?) well actually, if you think about it in terms of your own life, you are the center of the universe for yourself. Everything that happens is entirely related and intended for you in some way or the other. Everything is happening precisely for you and for no one else. Everyone in your life exists solely to serve a purpose in your life and for no other reason. What you define that reason to be is completely up to you and how you want that reason to influence your life is something that is completely your own prerogative. Think about it with a sound and practical voice of reason. Nothing and no one in this world is as important as you because if you aren’t around, the universe ceases to exist in its current form (for you at least…) Every event in your life is taking you somewhere to a final destination. Everybody else is just a passenger and you are the sole reason they are travelling. Everything they do is somehow serving a purpose to service some need in your life.

It’s a view that could help you perceive life in an all new light. Whether you land up as the most famous and successful individual ever or not, you are all that matters to your existence on the face of this planet. Even the most successful people in this world serve as gossip in your life. Think about it, their whole existence is simply to provide for that minute of gossip in your life, no more! After all, our very existence is a freak mishap that none of us can explain or understand clearly so why burden ourselves with petty details of how and why? Why not simply revel in the fact that the only thing that matters is you. Its such a comforting thought if you believe that you are the center of all existence and everyone else is just secondary. I could come up with a whole lotta terminologies here and go on expanding this theory into that of multiple dimensions co-existing at the same time, an analogy on how love changes this uni-dimensional point of view into a multi-dimensional one and how people compromise on their existence for someone else. What a bloody waste of time as the center of this universe. Well nonetheless, I wont. I have neither the time nor an inclination to write a self-help book to help pessimists see the positive side of life. I am sure there are plenty of wannabe writers out there who would help with that. To me, it was just something absurd that popped up in my head some time ago that I have been playing around with. Have fun imagining yourself as the center of the universe and the most important person, event, place or time in the universe… period.

I have to get back to my life (which ironically means trying to finish a terrible self-help book for a book review…) damn, THIS universe sucks… got space in yours for me?

Love is difficult to get by,

Sometimes it leaves you just when you are feeling high,

Just when you thought things would be right,

It suddenly disappears right outta sight,

And then we wonder what it was that we did wrong,

Then we wonder why all it gave us was a sad song,

But then a broken heart is what teaches you the true meaning,

Of being in love, of truly feeling,

What it means to have felt someone as a part of you,

What it means to love someone, pure and true,

After all, love could never have been beautiful if you hadn’t let it go,

Cause then when the right person came along, you wouldn’t know,

Cause you would be blind to their presence,

Always hoping for that one essence,

Love isn’t about how close you held,

Its all about the way your heart swelled,

It isn’t about perennially being with your sweetheart,

Its about being able to let them depart,

Wonder why sometimes its so hard for us to realize,

That sadness doesn't necessarily follow demise,

That the end of one phase marks the beginning of another,

That in time our heart will once again flutter,

That the best isn’t getting over in a hurry,

We’ve only just begun and theres no reason to worry,

Start afresh, cause today is a brand new day,

A kiss for luck and you are on your way!

Discrimination

Last night, as is the norm in most hostels, some of us had a debate (and a passionately heated one at that.) The topic largely involved our definition of what it meant to be an Indian. I was largely aloof from the discussion for the longest time but well as you know, I am very passionate about my beautiful country and its unique unity in diversity. Nothing ruffles up my feathers as someone who would remind me or let me rephrase that, as someone who would want to categorise me on the basis of my religion. I am an Indian first and foremost and don’t you dare try to factionalise me on basis of religion, caste, creed or a regional belonging. I despise all those who would want to do anything of the sort.

I really couldn’t keep my mouth shut after a short period when one of the guys got aggressive about his own religion. What really ticked me off though, was the fact that he said he was able to express his views because all the people in the room were not from that religion and mentioned me as a hindu. I am deeply religious and do visit my temples on a regular basis but I also visit the churches, mosques, fire temples and gurudwaras. All religions are on the same level for me and I will not take crap against any one of them from anyone. I live in a “secular democracy” where everyone is at the same level and must view the others with the same respect as he would view himself. If you tell me that you consider one group of people as the source of unrest, then I am sorry to say that your views are largely misinformed and highly communal. To me, you are the one at fault. You are the one discriminating against a single religious sect. I do concede that there are fanatics on either side but if you are a fanatic after 23 years of education and more importantly, if you subscribe to such views after having proven yourself worthy enough to be among the elite in this country and being here in an institute worthy of me, I am sorry to say your education has been futile. If all the education has not taught you that you are an Indian first and last, you might as well start all over again. How dare you tell me that this country is largely dominated by a certain sect of people. This country is as much yours as someone else’s who might be the only follower of his religion. This is a democracy that respects and treats everyone equally. If you do not subscribe to the same views, you might want to change your views sooner than later.

This country was built on a very strong foundation of non-violence and indiscrimination. Our views are liberal enough to not even distinguish against those who oppressed us and we welcomed them to be a part of us even after independence. No one in this nation is inferior or superior as opposed to another on the basis of caste, creed, gender or any other distinguishing criteria. How dare you tell me of all people, that your views just stem from your heart and although your mind says you might be wrong, you accept that view point without reasoning with yourself. How dare you say you do not reason for yourself and accept what is the norm. Nothing in the world could ever be acceptable without a rational explanation or justifiable reasoning. And such a statement from a 26 year old graduate? I was ashamed at myself for having been silent and letting the debate reach a level where someone would make a statement such as “… my brain says I might be wrong but the hate stems from my heart and I accept it without reasoning. It is rooted deep within me…” My nation having had fallen to such levels? Why have we opened so many schools at such huge subsidies? The education is fruitless. If the youth of today really can still subscribe to such an erroneous view, we truly deserve to be called an un-developed nation.

You talk about riots instigated by one sect? What do you think your sect is… a group of saints? Who gave either sect a right to hack down the countless citizens of my nation on the basis of a couple of irresponsible acts and remarks? My nation stands amongst the most rapidly developing nations in the world today because it was not built on foundations ravaged by violent civil wars or bloody battles, it was built on the foundations of peace and non-violence. All those who believe that Mr. M. K. Gandhi chose the wrong weapon to fight for our freedom, please do a thorough research on the topic before forming such an abstract and aggressive opinion. Show me a single “progressive and peaceful” nation built on the foundations of a bloody uprising. Show me a single such nation that would allow its citizens such an open hand in terms of the views they hold. Show me a single such nation with liberal views and such freedom in terms of thought and expression. The way to progress is in realizing that way lies forward in terms of co-operation and co-existance. Factionalism and discrimination can only take us one way and that is to a civil war. Once again, we might be brought back to a time when the winning group ends up suppressing the loser and builds a nation built on the foundations of blood-shed and deep-rooted hatred. I implore you to open your eyes to the world around you and realize that your happiness lies in the happiness in that immediate environment. A single faction of discontent in that space would mean a catastrophic end to that state of perfect balance. Please do reason for yourself as to why you subscribe to a certain point of view. Can you logically justify those views you hold?

And for god’s sakes, please do not read this article and be influenced by it. These are the views held by a certain individual who might have formed it without indepth reasoning or research. Please, if you wish to influenced at all by it, be influenced enough to kindly argue and question your own beliefs and arguments. If you cannot justify them, do not hold on to them and please try and find out why. Please do not let my beloved country be inhabited by a bunch of people who refuse to think. Please do not let it get to a stage where we reach the death of reason, especially not if you are educated enough to be reading this.

(I am sorry if I have been too passionate in this article but I couldn’t stand it. I love my nation and dare I say, this whole world at large. Please do what you can to make it beautiful. It doesn’t have to involve aggressive marketing or even active participation. All it needs is for you as an individual to be a rational thinker. All it needs is “REASON.”)

I am running around in circles,

All I am doing is jumping hurdles,

I wanna break free, chase my dreams,

I wish you could hear all my screams,

This life is great but its not really mine,

I don’t care much for fine clothes and deep red wine,

I would rather be free on the road,

Bike in hand and nothing to care for, no load,

Cause my life is my own and I only live once,

I want all the joys and sadness before I die like a dunce,

This life aint bad enough to let it waste so soon,

In this lifetime I wanna do everything under the moon,

I don’t wanna be the one who spent his lifetime doing but one thing,

I wanna be the one who spent one lifetime doing everything,

I wanna have money in buckets to pour,

And then spend it all till I have no more,

And then when I die with no possessions to my name, I want my epitaph to say,

“Here lies Bikram, who tried for everything till his dying day…”

The Institution of Marriage

Recently someone was reading my palm and told me among a host of other things that I was destined to have atleast two if not three marriages. Now that set me thinking, am I really keen on a marriage at all anymore? For starters, what does marriage mean to me? Is a lifelong commitment really something that I am willing to make? After all there are so many advantages to being a bachelor all my life. (moreover, I do see my face in the mirror every morning and have absolutely no illusions about myself. So really, I do know its not going to be a matter of choice and I will in all probability be single for as long as I will it… yet, I shall discuss this for the benefit of others…) I mean think about it, you would not be able to go around with anybody else but your spouse for the rest of your days (if at all you want your marriage to be a success.) Moreover, there are those issues of commitment, jealousy and a whole lot of trust (or should it be mistrust?) Obviously women are rather free spirits at times and love flirting around without meaning much harm. Guys do it too but most are rather dumb and forget where to draw the line. The guy gets jealous and the gal is really struggling to understand why things are so difficult for the guys to understand. Then there is a huge rift and a flare up is inevitable. Then situations get complicated and the marriage eventually fails.

Of course this is the case when the people in question are highly educated and have a rather “open frame of mind.” People who are more conservative are capable of understanding marriages better and hence are capable of making them work. To them, there is no question of flirting or getting too friendly with others. Their world essentially revolves around their families and their extended families. They are very happy in that world of theirs and generally have a happier existence in terms of marriages than their counterparts. I bring this up because quite frankly, I no longer am a part of the conservative gang. I have been through too much to hold that view. Life is more beautiful when you can meet people openly without having to worry about setting your limits or defining boundaries that you shouldn’t be crossing. Like they say, “single and ready to mingle!” This statement is definitely true and I can vouch for it with experience. Here is an exercise for you. Notice the people you interact with everyday. Who are the ones that are most open and fun to be with? Who are the ones who can always be around if you ever need them? Which are the smiles laced with genuineness? Who are the ones who will always take the first step in making friends? Almost always, these qualities are borne by those who are single. So pray tell, why do we have an institution of marriage?

Moreover, in this fast paced world of ours, we are increasingly moving beyond our boundaries in search of better opportunities, be it in terms of education or employment or business. In such cases, it is not always possible for both the spouses to move and relocate themselves within the same pincode as the other. Then we try to make long distance relationships work, which again is no mean task. You meet each other once in six months or so. If you really love each other, you would never grab at an opportunity that takes you both away from each other. Then again, you are choosing your true love when you make such a choice. It could be your spouse (in which case you wouldn’t care about the better opportunity and would choose to stay put) or it could be your career (in which case you are saying you are more important than you [as in singular in the first case and plural in the second]) So my question being, why bluff yourself when you know what the truth is. If you know you wanna earn big bucks and gain power, do it with all your heart and put in everything to reach there. Why end up with half measures wherein neither of you can truly find happiness. Make mutual decisions or don’t make ‘em at all. (And for god’s sakes, don’t gimme the blunt excuse that you have to do it for your kids or your parents. Your kids and your parents would be happier if they saw you happy and could share in your happiness.) To this day, I have yet to hear of someone who was happy with the fact that their parents or their kids were making big money but were away from them. They would be happier in poverty if they knew you loved them so much as to choose them over all the riches in the world. And forget parents and kids, your spouse would love you more for it. After all, if you really wanna make relationships work, its not the big things that matter, it’s the little ones.

Of course, I would like to add that engineers do rarely face any dilemmas in marriage because they are so deprived of women in their fields, a question of infidelity doesn’t arise…

There you go, another of my weird philosophies in life…